15 Extremely Dumb and Hilarious Ways People Have Injured Themselves
Being a clumsy person is the worst thing ever, every single obstacle and object that happens to be on your way are a threat to you. Using any kind of machinery or tool always ends with you injuring yourself really badly, and you just can't avoid these things no matter how much you try because it's pretty much in your DNA. These people are so unlucky and clumsy that they ended up injuring themselves really badly in the dumbest ways possible.
One time I tried to fart while playing online poker really late while my girlfriend was asleep. About half of the fart came out before I realized more was on its way out too. I caught that before it was too late and jumped up and started to run to the bathroom. I had headphones on and yanked my head to the left and pulled my tower over as I kicked a 25 lb weight on the floor, broke my toe and then shit all over myself.
I was trying to open a little cup of pudding with a steak knife, and it went all the way through my hand.
Walked head first into a mind your head sign once. Not my finest moment.
Cutting a cake for a friends birthday, accidentally drop knife, attempt to catch it with foot.
Tried jumping over a bonfire, and hit someone mid air who had the same idea.I won because i didnt need 3 weeks in a burns unit, just a bottle of aloe-vera cream
As a child I was messing around with the cigarette lighter in the family car, and I just knew once the lighter bit stopped being orange it must have cooled off. It doesn't. Burnt my thumb twice.. slow learner.
I kicked a coconut thinking it would be similar to a soccer ball and naturally I broke my toe. My doctor was quite amused.
Hitting rocks with a claw hammer when I was younger, and stuck the claw part into my head.
Went to the gym with some friends on my lunch break - they challenged me to do a pushup with a clap behind my back before I landed. Challenge accepted and accomplished.That day after work (while in a suit) I went to my girlfriend's house and told her about my newfound pushup skills.I tried to re-live the glory, couldn't reach my hands behind my back to clap because the suit was restricting my motion, and landed chin-first on her hardwood floor.I ended up in the E.R. to get 5 stitches under my chin and at the dentist the next day to fix a chipped molar.Shouts to my E.R. doctor for not judging me too harshly.
Wanted to see if I could force myself to bite a chunk out of my skin!Spoiler alert: I could.
I had to cut away some insulation in a hard to reach area so I had the genius idea to tape a razorblade to a stick. Only I didn't have a stick. All I had was a sawzall blade.I didn't even make it as far as using the actual contraption. I sliced my hand open trying to duct tape the razorblade to the sawzall blade.Why didn't I just use the sawzall blade to cut the insulation, you ask? Because I'm a fucking idiot. That's why.
I woke up one morning and my thigh felt like it might be bruised, and I couldn't see any. So I head into the bathroom and prop my leg up on the bath to see if I could see any bruising in the mirror. I was a little too short and shifted my weight onto my leg, my foot slipped and my head slammed forward into the sink, damaging my chin. So I had to walk around with a cut open chin for a week or two.
When I was 9, my sisters locked me outside of our house on the porch. The only problem was that I had to shit really bad. So I screamed and begged them to let me in... and they wouldn't budge. So I started to pound on the window, until, suddenly, my hand went completely through the window, shattering the window and getting shards of glass stuck in my hand while all at the same time getting shards of shit in my pants. // Many people are asking what happened afterwards. My grandmother was called over (since my parents were both busy at work), and she had to pick out all the chunks of glass from my hand, which was extremely painful because of her diabetes and arthritis which made her hands have the inability to stay steady. I'm pretty sure I still have glass in my hand to this day. Yes I did change out of my poop and blood soaked pants before receiving first aid. I was treated like royalty for a week straight from my parents who acted as if I underwent life saving surgery, and my two sisters were grounded for a couple days, but of course they will never let me forget the day I shit my pants.
When I was kid I really wanted a power rangers toy. My Dad told I'm not going to get it just because I want it. I started whining. My Dad did not budge. I started jumping on the couch and screaming. My Dad did not move. This frustrated me even more and I jumped up in the air shouting you suck suckso. I don't know what happened , but when I landed on the floor , my face smashed the table and I felt like I hurt my head. There was pain , but I was not too flustered. Then my mom comes in and freaks out. She get a napkin/paper towel ( I'm not sure) . I see the blood on the napkin and next thing I know I'm freaking out. Bawling my eyes out. They take me to the hospital and get me stitched up. My Dad tucked me into bed that night , explained to me the consequences of my behavior and how much it hurt not only me , but my mom and Dad too. I started crying again and told him I'm sorry I hurt them. Next morning my mom gave me the toy. 13 years later my mom told me my Dad got the toy late night that night , but didn't give it himself because he didn't think I should learn that my tantrum worked.Edit : Those of you who think my Dad knocked me down I landed on my feet and he wasn't close enough to touch me.
Climbed a tree when I was about 12, fell out, broke my left arm. A week or so later,my friends dared me to climb the same tree with my left arm in a cast to my elbow. Got a branch higher than the first time, fell out, broke my right arm. Mum wasn't happy about having to take me back to hospital to get the other arm put in a cast too!
What hope do we have for humanity when people can't even function properly? Haha. If you want to see more of the dumbest people alive, you need to check out these 13 signs which are the ULTIMATE proof that people are really just getting dumber as time goes on.