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Young Woman Sets Boundaries Over Brother’s Destructive Behavior

He doesn't use the toilet, but furniture.

Young Woman Sets Boundaries Over Brother’s Destructive Behavior

Some families face challenging situations when caring for relatives with special needs, especially when certain behaviors can cause serious property damage or disrupt daily life. Setting boundaries in these cases is often a difficult but necessary step, as it involves balancing compassion with personal limits.

When one person’s actions repeatedly lead to costly or stressful outcomes, even close family members may feel the need to protect their own space. In this situation, OP, a 20-year-old woman, has a younger brother with low-functioning autism.

He is seven years old, nonverbal, and not toilet-trained. One of his recurring behaviors is attempting to relieve himself on furniture, particularly chairs and couches. OP had been redirecting him to the toilet whenever it happened, but the problem persisted.

The breaking point came when she was babysitting him at her apartment. During the visit, he urinated on her new and expensive couch, which she had saved up to buy.

Attempts to place him on the toilet led to a severe meltdown, and she had to call her parents for help. After this, OP decided her brother could no longer visit her apartment. Her parents were upset, calling her selfish, but she feels this boundary is necessary.

Brother banned from apartment after babysitting.

Brother banned from apartment after babysitting.Reddit

Parents call OP selfish for banning someone who kept urinating on her couch.

Parents call OP selfish for banning someone who kept urinating on her couch.Reddit

He needs constant supervision, and specialized clothing could prevent incidents.

He needs constant supervision, and specialized clothing could prevent incidents.Reddit

Parents are to blame for not teaching their autistic son basic skills.

Parents are to blame for not teaching their autistic son basic skills.Reddit

Parents neglecting to potty train their disabled son despite it being possible.

Parents neglecting to potty train their disabled son despite it being possible.Reddit

Setting boundaries with family is valid, even when caring for a loved one with special needs.

Setting boundaries with family is valid, even when caring for a loved one with special needs.Reddit

Parents neglect their special needs son’s training.

Parents neglect their special needs son’s training.Reddit

OP is right to ban her brother from her home after he ruined her couch, and her parents should replace it.

OP is right to ban her brother from her home after he ruined her couch, and her parents should replace it.Reddit

Parents neglect their autistic son’s needs, leaving the sibling to deal with the damage and call for intervention.

Parents neglect their autistic son’s needs, leaving the sibling to deal with the damage and call for intervention.Reddit

Parents should address her brother’s behavior with professional help to prevent isolation and protect others’ belongings.

Parents should address her brother’s behavior with professional help to prevent isolation and protect others’ belongings.Reddit

OP needs to set boundaries despite parents’ criticism.

OP needs to set boundaries despite parents’ criticism.Reddit

OP is not required to let her property be damaged because her parents won’t manage his needs.

OP is not required to let her property be damaged because her parents won’t manage his needs.Reddit

OP’s decision wasn’t made lightly. She had repeatedly tried to redirect her brother, but the continued damage - especially to something she worked hard to afford - crossed a personal line. While her parents may see this as rejection, it’s really about protecting her living space and emotional well-being.

Her choice is reasonable and justified. Setting boundaries does not mean a lack of love; it means recognizing limits and taking responsibility for one’s own home and peace of mind.