Bride-To-Be Asks If She Was Inconsiderate For Choosing Adults-Only Wedding Venue, Angering Her SIL

"My fiancée's brother and sister in law have two kids, 11 and 4."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• March 26, 2023

Destination weddings, while romantic and exotic, can sometimes cause difficulties for the couple's families and loved ones. One of the biggest dangers of destination weddings is that not everyone may be able to attend.

For many families, travel costs, time off work, and childcare arrangements can make it difficult to attend a wedding that is far away from home. In some cases, the location or type of accommodations may not be suitable for everyone, especially for families with young children.

For example, if the wedding venue is an adults-only resort, it can be challenging for families with kids to attend. This can lead to hurt feelings and strained relationships, as those who are unable to attend may feel excluded or feel as though their presence is not valued.

OP and her fiancé are getting married in November in Mexico. They live in New York and chose a destination wedding so that OP's extended family could attend without visa issues.

They called to tell her fiancé's brother and sister-in-law about their wedding plans. The sister-in-law said that they couldn't attend the wedding because they don't have anyone to watch their children, and her work schedule wouldn't allow it.

The fiancé asked if his brother could still attend, but the sister-in-law said it was inconsiderate to have a wedding at an adults-only hotel and her husband wouldn't travel without their children. OP feels bad that they can't attend and briefly considered changing hotels, but she likes the hotel they've chosen and has already paid a deposit.

OP has offered to add the sister-in-law and her family to their Airbnb, but the sister-in-law was more concerned about missing the all-inclusive aspect of the hotel. The conversation lasted for five minutes, and OP tried to offer alternatives.

OP asks:

OP and her fiancé are getting married in November in Mexico. They live in New York and chose a destination wedding so that OP's extended family could attend without visa issues.

They called to tell her fiancé's brother and sister-in-law about their wedding plans

The sister-in-law said that they couldn't attend the wedding because they don't have anyone to watch their children, and her work schedule wouldn't allow it.

he fiancé asked if his brother could still attend, but the sister-in-law said it was inconsiderate to have a wedding at an adults-only hotel and her husband wouldn't travel without their children.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

"You don't get to have your cake and eat it."

Yes, that sums it up

Some Redditors view things differently:

This is a good observation:

Others noticed this too:

Maybe SIL and her husband have this kind of arrangement?

You can find a trusted family member to watch the kids, but what to do when the whole family is going to the wedding?

The bottom line is:

While destination weddings can be beautiful and memorable, it's important to consider the potential difficulties and challenges that may arise. Couples should carefully consider their guests' needs and abilities when planning their wedding and be prepared to handle any obstacles that may arise.

By taking these steps, they can ensure that everyone they love can be there to celebrate their special day with them.

Damjan