Family Sides With Brother After Sister Requests Contribution to Utilities

Many people are happy to help relatives in need, but living together can quickly lead to conflict - especially when expectations aren’t clear. Sharing a home means sharing responsibilities, and when one person feels taken advantage of, tensions can rise.

In this case, the OP, a 27-year-old woman, worked hard to buy her apartment. She has been living independently, paying off a mortgage, and covering all her living expenses.

Recently, her younger brother, who had just finished school, asked to stay with her for a few months. Wanting to be supportive but also protect her space, OP agreed, on the condition that he contributed a small amount toward utilities and groceries, and followed a few basic rules, such as cleaning up after himself and avoiding loud gatherings late at night.

Instead of accepting, her brother became angry. He accused her of being greedy and treating family like strangers. The situation escalated further when he told extended family members that she was trying to profit from him.

Soon, OP began receiving critical messages from relatives, who sided with her brother without knowing the full story. Now, OP is left wondering if she was wrong for setting boundaries in her own home. Her experience highlights how family help can turn complicated when respect and fairness aren’t equally valued.

OP called heartless for asking brother to pay his share of the bills while staying in her apartment.

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Brother’s short stay turns into a long-term plan

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He revealed his true nature.

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Family backlash after OP asks brother to follow rules and chip in for bills.

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OP can suggest that the family take in her brother after his unpleasant behavior.

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Not wrong for refusing to house a grown man who won’t respect you or pay his share.

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Brother learns the hard way that the world doesn’t owe him anything.

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Nta for setting rules and asking for help with costs when her brother wanted to move in.

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Not wrong for asking her brother to contribute to utilities since he’s living with her.

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He wants to move in permanently.

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Not wrong for asking your brother to contribute to expenses if he stays with OP.

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Most commenters agreed that OP’s request was completely fair. Asking for a small monthly contribution and a few basic rules is not exploitation; it’s a reasonable way to protect personal space and avoid being taken advantage of.

A practical approach would be to offer the brother short-term help, such as allowing him to stay for a limited period with a written agreement, while encouraging him to find a job and save for his place.

If the brother refuses these reasonable terms, it may be better for him to find alternative arrangements. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them is the best way to maintain both the relationship and OP’s independence.