Bride Questions If She’s Wrong for Setting a Hygiene Rule for Her Bridesmaid

Is It Wrong to Ask a Bridesmaid to Wash Her Hair Before a Wedding?

Weddings are meant to be joyful occasions, but sometimes, family disagreements can create unexpected tension. Planning a wedding often involves balancing traditions, personal preferences, and the comfort of everyone involved. Small issues can quickly turn into big conflicts, especially when they touch on appearance and hygiene on such an important day.

In this case, OP is preparing for her wedding in mid-August 2025. Her sister, who is also a bridesmaid, has beautiful long hair but follows a very infrequent washing routine.

She last washed her hair on August 6 and has said she will not wash it again until August 20. Unfortunately, her job involves physical work and long hours in the heat, causing her hair to become greasy and develop an odor after only a few days.

Concerned about how this would look and smell during the wedding, OP gave her sister an ultimatum to wash her hair before the event. This led to her sister accusing her of being a “bridezilla,” a term often used to describe a demanding or controlling bride.

Despite the disagreement, OP has made it clear her sister is still welcome at the wedding. However, the situation has left her wondering if she overreacted or if basic hygiene should be non-negotiable for such an important day.

Bride worries sister’s unwashed hair will ruin her wedding day.

Bride worries sister’s unwashed hair will ruin her wedding day.Reddit

Bride’s sister refuses to wash her hair before the wedding, despite it being just once off her schedule.

Bride’s sister refuses to wash her hair before the wedding, despite it being just once off her schedule.Reddit

Bridesmaid’s greasy hair could overshadow the wedding day.

Bridesmaid’s greasy hair could overshadow the wedding day.Reddit

Sister’s hair experiment crosses the line when hygiene takes a back seat to the wedding.

Sister’s hair experiment crosses the line when hygiene takes a back seat to the wedding.Reddit

Greasy hair can ruin wedding hairstyles and smell unpleasant when styled.

Greasy hair can ruin wedding hairstyles and smell unpleasant when styled.Reddit

Slightly dirty hair can help with an updo, but greasy and smelly hair is a different story.

Slightly dirty hair can help with an updo, but greasy and smelly hair is a different story.Reddit

Sister refuses to wash her hair before the wedding, which sparks frustration.

Sister refuses to wash her hair before the wedding, which sparks frustration.Reddit

The bride should secretly book a pre-wedding hair appointment to avoid greasy hair drama.

The bride should secretly book a pre-wedding hair appointment to avoid greasy hair drama.Reddit

Curly hair care misunderstandings can make clean hair seem dirty.

Curly hair care misunderstandings can make clean hair seem dirty.Reddit

If she refuses to be presentable for the wedding, OP can let her attend as a regular guest.

If she refuses to be presentable for the wedding, OP can let her attend as a regular guest.Reddit

OP's sister's poor hygiene is not acceptable for the wedding day.

OP's sister's poor hygiene is not acceptable for the wedding day.Reddit

While OP’s concern about her sister’s hygiene before such an important event is understandable, most people felt that the situation could have been handled with more diplomacy. Weddings bring enough stress without turning personal habits into a battleground, and many commenters believed that giving an ultimatum only fueled tension.

In their view, a calm, private conversation and a focus on keeping the day joyful would have been more productive than drawing a hard line. Ultimately, the discussion highlights how even small disagreements can escalate when emotions run high before a wedding.