Wife Draws Line When Husband’s Mom Urges Him To Take Out Home Loan On Her Behalf
Marriage tested by an unexpected home loan request.
When your parents or in-laws ask for major financial help, it can feel impossible to say no. That’s exactly the situation a young couple found themselves in.
The husband’s mother asked him to take out a home loan in his name so she could buy out part of a property that has been in the family for decades.
On paper, it seemed simple: she promised to make payments monthly and even offered a future gift of $100,000 from a pending lawsuit. But there were so many red flags.
His stepdad has IRS issues, his sister recently had a car repossessed, and the mother had previously opened a credit card under his name without his knowledge, which led to thousands in collections that he had to pay off himself.
The couple has a new baby, a young child, and their own financial responsibilities. The wife sees the request as a major risk, one that could jeopardize their family’s stability if anything goes wrong.
She worries that if the settlement doesn’t come through, or if his stepdad loses his job, the loan would fall entirely on them. Meanwhile, the husband feels pressure from his family, tempted by the promised gift and the idea of helping his mom.
He’s definitely currently caught between the obligation to his extended family and protecting his immediate family’s interests. The question is: who gets priority in this case?
Read the screenshots below to see how this tense family financial debate unfolded.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comA bit of background
Reddit.comAlmost everyone in OP’s husband’s family has some financial issue or the other that prevents them from taking a loan
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OP’s MIL has made some promises, but she still isn’t comfortable about her husband agreeing to the deal
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OP’s husband feels pressure to help, but she’s adamant that it’s too risky
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We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“You are responsible for the safety and security of your children: make him understand that.”
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“If his mother doesn’t pay the mortgage it won’t only be his debt it will probably also be yours.”
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“Don't do it. Don't give up his first time homebuyer status for them.”
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“Do not back down, this is absolutely your hill to die on! I can only see all the ways this can go wrong.”
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“NTA. Maybe they should have saved some money during the 15 years they lived rent free.”
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“NTA--She can't get a loan for a reason. Do not, under any circumstances, loan these people money.”
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This story highlights the tricky balance between family loyalty and protecting your own household. On one hand, helping a loved one in need feels natural, especially when promises of repayment are made.
On the other hand, there’s real risk in co-signing a loan for someone else, particularly when past financial missteps exist. The couple must weigh trust against security, love against logic.
Situations like this often require difficult conversations and firm boundaries. Share your thoughts on how you would handle a high-stakes family financial request in the comments.
