Woman Gifts Millions To Best Friend’s Kids, But Gives More To One
Why the Older Child Will Receive More

Financial windfalls often inspire people to share their good fortune, especially with those they feel closest to. Deciding how to divide such a gift, however, can be deeply personal and sometimes complicated. Relationships, history, and individual needs often influence how generosity is expressed.
In this case, the OP, a 37-year-old woman, recently received a large sum of money. She plans to gift a substantial amount to her best friend’s two children through irrevocable trusts.
She intends to give $2.5 million to the 12-year-old girl and $1.5 million to the 2-year-old boy. The difference stems from her life experience with the older child, whom she helped raise from a young age. The girl spends school vacations with her, calls her “mom,” and is loved as much as OP’s children.
The girl has endured a traumatic childhood, including abuse, which has led to long-term mental health challenges. Her therapist believes she may need lifelong support. In contrast, the younger boy has a present father serving in the military and enjoys greater material stability.
OP relates to the girl’s struggles, having grown up as the overlooked child in her own family. She sees parallels in their experiences and wants to ensure the girl’s future is secure. For her, this gift is not about favoritism but about giving someone she loves a better chance in life.
Original Post

Original Post

No good deed goes unpunished when money and friendships mix.

Questioning how the mom could treat the kids equally if one lacks what the other has.

Gift amounts are fair.

Special treatment for one child can leave lasting scars on the other.

A friend may accept different amounts if extra coverage provides medical care.

OP can give friend money and keep the kids’ trusts revocable until they’re adults.

A fairer split ensures both children benefit equally over time through safe investments.

The reason for the unequal gift should be explained without hurtful comparisons.

The difference in amounts isn’t about playing favorites - it’s about recognizing unequal circumstances and giving the older child a stronger safety net for the future. OP’s challenging childhood has made her deeply aware of how early disadvantages can shape an entire life.
While some might worry about the best friend’s reaction, most feedback focused on what truly matters: staying true to personal values and prioritizing the children’s long-term well-being. Supporting those with fewer resources isn’t unfair; it’s an act of compassion.
Ultimately, decisions like this are about using a rare opportunity to make a lasting difference, even if it means facing a few uncomfortable conversations along the way.