Divorcee Wants To Split Living Costs With BF Instead Of Paying Market Rent To Him, Seeks Opinion Online

Many couples face challenges when merging their finances and households. Some may struggle with feelings of fairness and equality, especially if one partner contributes more to the expenses or assets.

Others may have different spending habits or financial priorities that can create tension. In some cases, couples may have different expectations about ownership and equity in shared assets, such as a home.

This can be especially detailed if one partner has children or other financial obligations to consider. Open communication and mutual understanding are key to navigating these challenges.

Couples can benefit from discussing their financial goals, expectations, and to find a solution that works for both partners. OP is planning to move into her boyfriend's house and he has teenage sons living withhim.

They're trying to figure out how to split living costs fairly. OP and her boyfriend's financial situation are intricate, with both partners earning six-figure incomes but having different spending habits.

OP's boyfriend is more frugal, while she enjoys indulging in luxury items. Their past experiences with divorce and financial obligations also play a role in their current situation.

As they prepare to share a home, OP and her boyfriend have different ideas about how to divide expenses. OP wants to split costs evenly, while her boyfriend thinks she should pay market rent rates.

OP is motivated by her desire for a 50/50 split, and her boyfriend's expectations can affect their relationship. The outcome is uncertain, and reading the story will provide insight into their situation.

The headline

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The story begins...

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The portion of the mortgage payment

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OP's payment would be based on market rent rates

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OP's boyfriend is more frugal overall

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Will the OP be the AH?

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I think I might be the AH because he still needs to pay the full monthly costs, including principal for his mortgage, and he only benefits from increased equity if and when he sells the house, and he would assume market risks.

As usual, the comments rolled in and here are a bunch of them

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They should both sell their homes

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That is not a partnership

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The OP added more clarifications later on...

---If I sell my house, I would cash out on the equity I have and could reinvest that (in the stock market, investment property or something else). Should this not work out I could also use that to buy another place for myself. 

---We are planning on a cohabitation agreement. 

---We live in California so common law rules do not apply. 

---The market rent he suggests is about half less than what one would pay to rent a full house, but also about half more than what rent for room only would be. We would both save in monthly costs moving in, and my point is more on the principle of splitting costs evenly (minus the mortgage equity portion).

It's not a two person household

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This Redditor has said it all

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The OP will be the one to leave if things go south

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OP's situation serves as a reminder that relationships involve give-and-take, and finding common ground is crucial. For many Redditors, OP selling her home to move in with her boyfriend is a weak move considering the level of breakup in relationships.

The outcome will likely depend on their communication and willingness to understand each other's perspectives. Ultimately, the decision will impact not only their finances but also their relationship.

The story provides a thought-provoking exploration of the challenges couples face when merging their lives and finances. Given that OP will be moving into his house and not contributing to the equity, OPs suggestion to pay half of the interest payment but not the principal seems reasonable or what do you think?