Foster Parents Decline Selling Backup Car to Teen Daughter and Boyfriend Despite Growing Pressure

Helping an emerging adult is a balancing act between compassion and boundaries. Many parents want to ease the path, yet every bailout risks blurring lines and delaying growth.

Transportation often becomes the flashpoint. A car can mean work, school, medical visits, and independence, but it also brings costs, responsibility, and liability. In foster and guardianship families, this balance is even more delicate.

Love meets history, safety meets scarcity, and generosity can quietly become expectation. The real test is not whether you care, it is whether your help produces stability rather than dependency. Saying yes is easy in the moment. Saying no kindly and holding it can be the most loving choice of all.

A foster couple took guardianship of a teen at fifteen and a half. Now eighteen and a senior, she moved in with her boyfriend over the summer and is pregnant.

The guardians still cover her phone and sometimes send grocery money. The boyfriend totaled his car last year, so they loaned him the family’s spare for a couple of months, during which it was used hard and returned rough.

He bought a beater, which has not solved their transportation problem. Recently, the couple began pressing to buy the spare car outright.

The husband, who holds the title, said no. He plans to complete minor repairs, renew the tags, and make it his daily driver. The young pair argues that the car sits unused, the guardians should sell it, and they do not understand the refusal.

The guardian who posted admits confrontation is hard and extra cash would help, yet the backup vehicle has saved their household many times.

The OP asks:

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Foster guardians raised a teen from fifteen, now eighteen, pregnant, finishing high school, still receiving limited financial support.

Boyfriend totaled his car last year; guardians loaned their spare for months, which was returned mistreated and rough.

Couple now press to buy the spare, insisting it sits unused, but husband holds title and plans repairs.

Guardians value the backup car for emergencies and daily logistics, despite hating confrontation and appreciating potential extra cash.

Readers leaned toward Not the A-hole, pointing to clear risks. Family sales often devolve into low payments, missed payments, and resentment. If the car fails, blame returns to the sellers.

Title transfers, insurance, and repairs can become endless headaches. More importantly, the husband already gave a firm no, and the car is in his name.

Overriding that boundary would set a precedent that persistence turns no into yes. Support does not have to be a car. Healthier options include a strict budget session, bus passes, rideshare vouchers for doctor visits, or help finding a reliable mechanic for the boyfriend’s current vehicle.

Maybe they plan not to pay...

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They wanted to be independent adults...

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One Redditor shared their experience:

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"She needs to figure out adulting, fast."

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Continuing to be easy....

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"It's your car, you do with it what you want."

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Maybe it's time to break the cycle.

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"It’s your husband’s car."

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"It's ok to say no..."

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Love can show up as firmness. By keeping the car and holding the line, the guardians protect their household, model adult responsibility, and encourage the young couple to solve problems they chose to take on.