Redditor's FIL Tells Her He Doesn't Care About Baby She's Expecting Because It Won't Have His Last Name

Navigating family dynamics, especially when they intersect with major life events like a pregnancy announcement, can be incredibly tricky. OP shared her story about a feud that erupted over her decision to give her baby her last name, rather than her boyfriend's family name.

This situation escalated when her father-in-law (FIL) voiced his displeasure publicly, and OP chose not to intervene in the resulting argument. This story raises questions about family expectations, respect, and the responsibilities one has in moderating social media interactions.

OP announced her pregnancy on social media three weeks ago, a momentous occasion that she expected to be filled with joy and congratulations. However, her FIL took this opportunity to express his dissatisfaction with the baby taking OP's last name, rather than his.

He commented on her post, stating that his last name "sounded much better." This sparked a response from OP's brother and a few friends, who told FIL he was being inappropriate.

The situation quickly escalated when OP's brother called FIL "stupid," leading to a heated exchange. OP chose not to intervene in the feud, believing it was not her responsibility to moderate an argument that FIL had initiated and made public.

However, her mother-in-law (MIL) felt differently. She called OP's boyfriend to complain, stating that they were tired of dealing with OP and refused to "walk on eggshells." MIL was upset that her husband had been attacked in the comments and felt that OP should have defended him.

The situation culminated in a lengthy argument between OP and MIL, during which MIL insisted that OP was in the wrong for not defending FIL. MIL accused OP of being too sensitive and suggested that she should have stuck up for FIL.

Despite no one explicitly stating that OP was upset, MIL assumed as much and criticized her for it. Following MIL's suggestion, OP called FIL to try and resolve the issue, but FIL dismissed her entirely, saying he didn't care about her or the baby anymore since it wouldn't have his last name.

Announcing Her Pregnancy and Social Media Fallout

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The Feud Escalates Beyond OP's Control

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Confronting FIL as Her MIL Suggested

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OP's Perspective on FIL's Reaction

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Standing Her Ground Despite Family Pressure

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Clarifying Her Relationship Status

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Future Plans and Potential Discussions

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The Boomers Need to Stay off The Social Media Platforms

u/kindcrow

The Boomer Stuff Is Not Relevant And Probably Not Accurate

u/doubleosepti

It's Not OP's Job To Defend Her Father In Law

u/bamf1701

OP Is Valuing Her Good Name

u/FireBallXLV

It's Probably Daily Drama With These People

u/CariSsA504

OP's decision to stand her ground rather than apologize for not intervening in the feud demonstrates her belief in maintaining her autonomy and not capitulating to unreasonable demands.

While it might have been diplomatic to try and mediate the conflict, it is also important for OP to set boundaries and assert her own needs and decisions, especially when it comes to her child.

In conclusion, OP is not the asshole for refusing to publicly defend FIL in a feud that he initiated. The situation underscores the importance of communication, respect, and boundaries within family dynamics.