When This Mom Found Out Her Daughter Was a Bully, She Decided to Share Her Discipline Technique with Everyone on Facebook
Surprise! Everyone is fighting about it.
Discipline is a hot topic in the parenting world these days, and it has transformed significantly over the last century. It used to be that physical discipline was the standard, but as humanity matured and began to delve into research on early childhood development and psychology, it became practically unanimously agreed upon that hitting our kids was a bad thing, or at least that it tended to do more harm than good. While some parents continue to fight against the greater scientific community on that particular issue, many others have begun to explore various avenues to determine the best ways to instill values in their children and properly teach them right from wrong.
One approach that has gained a lot of momentum over the last 10 to 15 years is some form of public shaming. We have seen parents make their angry teenagers stand on street corners holding signs. We have seen parents video the act of shaving their kids' heads or smashing their toys. We have seen numerous photos of parents who have bagged up their children's belongings, prepped and ready for the trash.
Amanda Mitchell is a mother from Newfoundland, Canada, who decided that spanking wasn't the way to get through to her daughter. However, she chose to share on Facebook how she disciplined her daughter when she found out her daughter had been behaving poorly in school. As anyone could assume, the Internet is now formally divided on the issue. Check it out!
I Don't Usually Do This...
Amanda began her post by warning her friends and family that it was going to be a long one.
Amanda MitchellHannah
Amanda's daughter had been misbehaving well outside the realm of normal for her family.
Amanda MitchellMommy's Little... A**hole?
Hey, most of us parents have at least thought it, but not all of us verbalize it on the Internet.
Amanda Mitchell
Mommy's Juvenile Detention
Here's where it gets... interesting.
Amanda Mitchell
Scoffing
You know it's about to take a turn when the parent doing the social media blasting scoffs at the pushback against positive parenting techniques.
Amanda Mitchell
And Then She Drops the Mom Hammer...
50 times!
Amanda Mitchell
"...We Do Not Act Like A**holes."
Write it out, kiddo!
Amanda Mitchell
Amanda Also Shared Photos of Her Daughter's New Digs.
Featuring a bedroom stripped of anything fun.
Amanda Mitchell
Bare Closets
No pretty clothes.
Amanda Mitchell
Outfits Pre-Picked Out.
Excuse me, one outfit pre-picked out.
Amanda Mitchell
And Then the Peanut Gallery Chimed In.
Some people were supportive of Amanda's punishment.
Amanda Mitchell
Some people flat out said, "Good job!"
Amanda Mitchell
And some people were outraged at the idea that positive reinforcement could be beneficial.
Amanda Mitchell
"Home is where we learn..."
Amanda Mitchell
Taking back parenting... one social media post at a time.
Amanda Mitchell
But Not Everyone Was So Enthusiastic About Amanda's Tactics.
Peggy Dexler, PhD says:
It's important to recognize that discipline is not the same as punishment. Discipline is necessary. Punishment is not. In most cases, misbehavior among toddlers and young kids isn't something that requires punishment but, instead, some understanding and a frank parent-child discussion.Going to social media, according to one commentator, is all about the parent and virtual high-fives, and has little to do with correcting undesirable behavior in a child.
Amanda Mitchell
Amanda made it clear, however, that this wasn't the first thing she jumped to. Speaking with Global News, Amanda clarified that the first thing she did was talk to her daughter because this behavior was definitely out of the ordinary!
Amanda Mitchell
Others found a middle ground, where the punishment was not an issue whatsoever, but the bragging on social media? Low-hanging fruit.
Amanda Mitchell
Even more so, a significant number of people found that a few specifics of the punishment pushed this whole situation over the edge of reason.
In an interview with Global News, Mitchell said:
Ninety-nine percent of [the comments] are pretty good. Maybe there were 15 or 20 messages that were sent to me that were nasty and told me I’m a terrible parent, but I’m just not going to entertain that.I know that I’m not doing harm to her. I’m doing everything I can to help her. I told her I’m doing this because I love her and want her to grow up to be a well-rounded individual.
Amanda Mitchell
"The point of discipline is to transmit values to children. The purpose of punishment is to coerce compliance and secure control, and failing that, to inflict pain as a form of revenge...."
Mitchell went on to explain that while most of the comments supported her, a few of them also made her rethink her punishment enough that her daughter would not wear the same shirt to school every day. Instead, she would cycle through four different anti-bullying shirts. Additionally, she would only have to write her sentences 25 times instead of 50.
Amanda Mitchell
Mitchell's daughter also quickly earned back a few of her belongings, like some books, a side table, and a lamp. The punishment was not as long-term as a prison sentence would be in the future, either.
I just want people to know that I’m not a terrible parent. I try really hard to be a great mom. I’ve been a single mom for most of their lives, and I’ve worked really hard to provide a good life for them.
Amanda Mitchell