Hosts Share The Weirdest Things Some Of Their Previous Guests Have Done In Their Home
Some people are just too weird.
The world is such a scary and big place. The only time you get a break from it is when you're finally home. It's the most sacred place you can ever dream of, allowing us all to escape from the world's madness. It's comfortable and peaceful, and when you're there, you're pretty much the king of everything—unless you happen to live with your wife or girlfriend, in which case you are definitely not the king of everything.
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Having to host people in your home that you aren't very close to almost never ends well. Even if they happen to do something weird, you can't really scold them or ask them why they did it, as that would just make matters much worse.
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1. Hosting a thief
“Stole my paprika :(”2. A vegan who eats meat
“She said she was a vegan, so she only brought some seeds, nuts, etc., but cooked and ate MY pork chops before I got home from work. She had no company over… so it was HER!”3. We still joke about it
“We were hosting a group of teenage boys for a youth group convention. My mom served a family-style breakfast with bacon, hash browns, and eggs, each piled high on separate large plates. One of the two boys we were hosting sat down and promptly finished the entire plate of eggs, meant for six people, by himself. We played it cool at the time, but we still joke about the kid who ate 12 eggs in one sitting.”4. I tried to warn her, but she didn't listen
“Oh boy, one night in elementary school, I had two friends over—let’s call them Sara and Megan. They were my two best friends, and everything was fine until I went to bed. Let me tell you, I’m a deep sleeper, and I hadn’t woken up all night. It was morning, and Megan had to leave early, but right before she left, my grandma handed her bag to her and noticed it was really heavy. She opened it, and my little pet shop toys fell out along with some dress-up clothes.That wasn’t all. After Megan left, Sara told me that Megan would sit on me while I was sleeping and fart! What the heck! And when I was cleaning up where we slept, I found really mean notes about me. My grandma had both Megan and Sara’s parents bring their agendas to compare the handwriting. Guess who it was… fucking Megan.
After that, I stopped talking to her. She found a new friend who actually had the same name as me. I don’t know if it was a coincidence or not, but she was fucking weird. I tried to warn Same Name, but she didn’t listen. Oh well.”
5. “I got your back, Mulder!”
“When I was in middle school, my parents and I watched The X-Files pretty religiously. The truth is out there! Anyway, my dad had a friend move back to town, and he was dating a woman with a son my age. My dad told the friend to bring the son over to hang out with me (without asking me, of course). We were playing some computer games, and the kid was a little weird, but nothing too crazy.In the evening, the new episode of The X-Files was airing, so we all sat down to watch it. There was an intense shootout scene in a forest, and all of a sudden, the dude stood up and yelled, “I got your back, Mulder!” He then proceeded to aim his backside at the TV and blast a huge fart. This was the first time any of us had met him… We really had no idea how to react. We laugh our asses off (no pun intended) talking about it these days, but in the moment, all of us were like, who the heck is this kid?!”
6. The Walls Looked Like Sh*t
“A relative of my husband stayed with us for a month while trying to get back on her feet, looking for a job and whatnot. She’s a strange person and did a few odd things, but the strangest (and rudest) was redecorating the guest room. She put up shelves, badly, by drilling huge screws into the wall. She took a painting off the wall and shoved it into the back of the closet, then took a metal art piece off the wall in the foyer and hung it in the guest room, crooked, using the same shoddy screws-in-the-wall method. The wallpaper where she drilled got all torn and ruined. This was that nice fabric-type wallpaper that looks like it has embroidered patterns. And then she had the nerve to be livid when she was told how not cool that was. I don’t get the logic in her thinking that what she did was okay. After she (predictably) lost her (well-paying) job after two days, we kicked her out, and I turned the guest room into an office. The walls looked terrible. I’ve never been in someone’s house and thought to mess with their stuff. Edit: a typo.”7. A totally normal conversation
“Pulled me aside to ask for details about my parents' sex life.”8. Very specific
“I used to have a friend who would always come over to take a dump. When I asked her about it, she told me she preferred my toilet over hers.”9. What an odd thing to do
“My boyfriend had a friend of a friend, whom we’d never met, come to a small party. He disappeared for a while and then reappeared. I thought he looked different but couldn't put my finger on it. Turns out he had helped himself to the upstairs bathroom, used his roommate's razor, and shaved his beard off. At a party. At a stranger's house. He left beard hair everywhere.To add to the weirdness, we heard a few months later that he had died. He was drunkenly drag racing and crashed, killing himself in his early 20s.”
10. He seemed a bit hurt
“My girlfriend and I hosted a guy from Couchsurfing at our place and put him in our guest bedroom. He originally requested to stay for 35 days, and my super generous girlfriend almost gave him the green light for that until I stepped in and told her that’s positively insane and he could stay for like four nights maximum.He was a nice dude—really, really awkward—and spoke of his work in kind of a masturbatory manner, but he was very polite and respectful in our home. Well, the day before he was going to leave, he asked my girlfriend if he could make a copy of our key “for next time I’m in the area,” and without thinking, she said sure. So the guy made a copy of our key, and I only found out about it after he’d gone to sleep his last night there, and he was planning to leave at like 4 a.m.
So I set my alarm for 3:30 a.m. and hung out in the living room so I could intercept him and grab that new key. I did it by thanking him for making a copy of the key for our next guest. He seemed a bit hurt that I was asking for it back, which only made me happier that I went through all the trouble of getting it back.
I don’t know what the heck he was thinking asking to keep a copy of our key, but I found it really alarming. Of course, he might have made two copies and hidden one of them; who knows? We’ve since moved, so I’m not worried.”
11. Haven’t seen or heard from him since.
“Had a long-lost cousin pass through my town years ago and offered him a place to stay. He was a really cool guy when I was growing up, and I was really looking forward to spending some time with him. He arrived, and I showed him to the spare room of the house, which had my Sega Mega Drive (this was many years ago, when they were one of the gaming consoles you had to have) set up to a TV. His eyes lit up when he saw the Sega. He said he was going to lay down and have a bit of a rest; he had been traveling by road all day, so I understood and left him alone. He didn’t emerge for the rest of the day and well into the night, so I thought I would check on him. I peeked into his room, and he was just sitting on the floor playing Sega. He stayed there for two whole days, only coming out to get himself some takeaway (he refused our offers of dinners we had prepared) or to go to the toilet. From time to time, I would go into his room and sit on the bed, trying to make any kind of conversation, but he would just grunt or give single-word responses while he played games. I eventually gave up and just left him to it for basically two days and nights. He would play well into the early hours of the morning (with the volume on low, which was considerate, I suppose). On the third day, he packed up early and just left without saying goodbye. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”12. People are just weird
“There are about 84,573 posts on here about guests just shitting on the bathroom floor.I literally don’t understand; I just need to know why.”
