Redditor Called Out By Sister-In-Law For Putting Her Disabled Sister In Special Care Facility

To provide context, OP (44F) is married to Jimmy (48M), and together they are guardians of OP's younger sister, Abigail (39F), who has Down Syndrome. After the sudden death of OP’s parents a decade ago, they took on the responsibility of caring for Abigail.

Despite their best efforts, they realized that Abigail needed more attention than they could provide while balancing their work and family life. They decided to place Abigail in a private adult home for special needs individuals, a costly but well-suited environment where Abigail thrives and is happy.

The conflict arises during a Labor Day BBQ hosted by OP. Jenny (42F), OP’s sister-in-law, made a pointed comment about OP’s guardianship of Abigail, insinuating that OP and Jimmy were unsuitable guardians for Jenny’s child in the event something happened to her and her husband.

Jenny’s remark implied that OP and Jimmy’s decision to place Abigail in a specialized home was a failure of familial duty. OP responded by laughing and stating she had no desire to raise Jenny’s child, which escalated into a verbal altercation.

OP and Jimmy made a thoughtful and responsible decision for Abigail’s well-being, ensuring she receives the specialized care and attention she needs in a facility where she is happy and engaged.

Jenny’s remark was not only insensitive but also dismissive of the complexity and challenges involved in caring for a person with special needs. Her judgmental attitude and public criticism during a family gathering were inappropriate and hurtful.

While laughing and stating a lack of desire to raise Jenny’s child might seem harsh, it was a reaction to an unprovoked and hurtful attack. OP chose to defend herself and her family’s choices rather than escalate the confrontation further with more anger or shouting.

Jenny’s continued demands for an apology, despite her initial inflammatory comment, suggest a lack of self-awareness or remorse for her behavior. MIL’s request for OP to apologize “to keep the peace” overlooks the need for Jenny to recognize and apologize for her hurtful remarks first.

OP's Sister Abigail and Their Family Situation

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Deciding the Best Care for Abigail

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OP's Family Is Always Stopping By To Visit Them

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Hosting a Labor Day BBQ with Their Family

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Responding to Jenny's Insensitive Comments

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Standing Up for Herself and Her Decisions

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Aftermath of the Incident and Family Tensions

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Living In A Group Home Is Sometimes Good

u/friendlily

It's Important To Love The Community Where You Live

u/MadTom65

OP Did A Good Thing Here

u/workingmama020411

OP Was Not Going To Beg For Unwanted Guardianship

u/lastdepressionbender

It's Intriguing How Some People Try To Raise Their Child

u/Lay-ZFair

In conclusion, OP’s response was a measured defense against an unjust attack. While family harmony is important, it should not come at the expense of allowing hurtful comments to go unaddressed.

Jenny’s behavior needs to be acknowledged and corrected to truly keep the peace within the family.

Standing up for your family and their well-being is crucial, even when it means confronting unfair criticism.