When The Thermostat Becomes The Third Wheel In A Relationship

Balancing comfort and electricity bills isn’t easy when partners have very different sleeping temperature needs.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
August 15, 2025

When The Thermostat Becomes The Third Wheel In A Relationship

Temperature preferences can cause unexpected tension in shared households, especially when energy costs are involved. While one person might enjoy a cooler room for sleeping, another may find it uncomfortable or too expensive to maintain.

Finding a balance can be tricky, especially during hotter months when air conditioning costs climb. For couples, these differences can turn into bigger disagreements if solutions aren’t agreed upon or respected.

In OP’s case, he and his girlfriend have different ideas about nighttime cooling. She prefers the bedroom to be quite cold, while he’s trying to manage the household’s high electricity costs.

OP covers the mortgage and all utilities, so he suggested running the central air at 74°F at all times and using a window unit to cool just the bedroom at night. The plan was meant to save money and still keep her comfortable.

However, the compromise hasn’t gone smoothly. Despite the window unit, OP’s girlfriend has been lowering the central thermostat in the middle of the night, running both systems at once. This not only increases costs but also leaves OP uncomfortably cold in the mornings when he starts work before she wakes.

He even offered alternatives like an oscillating fan, but she says fans trigger her asthma. Now that OP has drawn a line, he refuses to run central air overnight, leaving the couple at an impasse over comfort versus cost.

Original Post

Both sides have valid points in the thermostat debate.

OP can get a good bedroom fan to help with heat and humidity for better sleep.

OP can always add more layers, but can only take off so many.

She’s not paying the electric bill, so OP decides how the electricity is used.

Waking up hot at night can disrupt sleep during heat waves when the AC can’t keep up.

She should take on the utility bill if she wants the house cooler.

Plenty of compromises can be tried before a temperature disagreement ends a relationship.

Girlfriend should share expenses and compromise on thermostat settings

OP should let her cover the electric bill.

Keeping a large home cool throughout the night in a warm climate can be costly and inefficient. OP’s suggestion to use a bedroom window unit while setting the central thermostat higher seems like a reasonable compromise.

However, his unwillingness to consider his girlfriend’s discomfort raises concerns. Some commenters point out that her sensitivity to cold might stem from health-related issues, and rather than making decisions alone, a more empathetic approach and open discussion about each other’s needs would likely lead to a better solution.