A Wedding Guest List with Boundaries

Woman refuses to let brother bring a plus-one to the big day

Damjan

Published in Interesting
August 15, 2025

Weddings are deeply personal events where the guest list often reflects the couple’s closest and most trusted relationships. For many, the idea of inviting someone who has caused significant hurt in the past is unthinkable.

This can create difficult situations when family members want to bring guests who are not welcome, forcing couples to choose between their own comfort and family harmony.

In Othe P’s case, she is preparing to marry her fiancé after six years together. As the wedding approached, she asked for RSVPs and details about plus-ones.

Her brother, however, did not respond until prompted, casually mentioning he would bring Carrie - someone who had bullied OP throughout high school, spreading rumors and isolating her from most of her peers. Recently, OP also learned from a mutual friend that Carrie had tried to interfere in another person’s relationship.

Given this history, OP told her brother Carrie could not attend, but made it clear he was welcome to bring someone else. He refused, saying he would rather skip the wedding than tell Carrie she was uninvited.

Their mother initially pushed OP to reconsider, but later accepted her decision, though she worried about a lasting rift between the siblings. With the wedding date fast approaching, OP remains firm in her choice, prioritizing her peace of mind over avoiding family tension, and leaving the decision to attend entirely in her brother’s hands.

Original Post

OP is right to set boundaries and protect her peace on her wedding day.

Brother’s insistence on bringing Carrie raises deeper family questions.

"Carrie must not be there."

Banning someone who wronged you from your wedding is reasonable.

OP's choice..

Her wedding, her rules.

OP shouldn't change her mind.

OP deserves a stress-free wedding.

Mom is also wrong.

OP is navigating two legitimate concerns: protecting her emotional well-being and maintaining peace at a significant life event. Her decision isn't about being petty or exclusionary; it's about setting clear and reasonable boundaries.

She communicated her concerns directly and respectfully, offering her brother the opportunity to attend with someone else. This approach shows thoughtfulness, emotional maturity, and a willingness to prioritize her mental health without entirely shutting the door on family connection.