Man Plans Gaming On His Vacation, But His Wife Expects Him To Be A Dad Instead

Modern parenthood often brings a tug-of-war between personal needs and family responsibilities. For many working parents (especially those who identify as introverts) alone time is a rare luxury. Yet, when a household includes young children, time off from work doesn’t necessarily mean time off from parenting.

The line between “rest” and “responsibility” blurs quickly, often leaving one partner feeling overworked and the other misunderstood. The emotional exhaustion of balancing work, parenthood, and personal space can lead to resentment on both sides—especially when one person feels entitled to rest while the other remains in constant motion.

In this story, a Reddit user shared his frustration after realizing his much-anticipated work vacation wasn’t restful at all. The original poster (OP), a father to a baby, had taken time off to recharge.

He imagined quiet mornings with coffee, time to read, and a few peaceful hours of gaming—simple pleasures for someone who describes himself as introverted and easily drained. Instead, he found himself busier than ever.

Because he wasn’t working, his wife expected him to help more around the house and with childcare. “If I thought I’d have time to chill, I was wrong,” he wrote. “I couldn’t even have my coffee in peace.”

Feeling resentful, OP argued that a work vacation should belong to the person who earned it...

The OP asks:

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OP took time off work hoping to relax, game, and recharge but ended up busier with household and parenting duties.

He argued his work vacation should be his personal time since he’s the main financial provider for the family.

His wife expected him to help more with the baby and chores since he wasn’t working during his break.

Now he asks:

The community’s response was swift and overwhelming: Yes, he was the a-hole.

Hundreds of commenters called out OP’s reasoning, labeling it selfish and dismissive of his wife’s workload. Many pointed out that parenting isn’t a job one clocks out of—and that both parents deserve rest, not just the one drawing a paycheck.

“You’re a parent,” one commenter wrote bluntly. “You don’t get to say, ‘I’m not going to be a parent because I’m taking days off work.’” Others noted that his wife’s daily responsibilities—childcare, feeding, household management—likely leave her with even less downtime than he gets at work.

"Thinking that you get to brush your family responsibilities off...is just beyond the pale."

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Ah, the old "Main Provider" argument...

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Is watching your own kids a job?

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"You made it about you."

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SAHM work is harder than going to a "job"; it never ends.

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"You have responsibilities."

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Parenting is a full-time job

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"You chose to have a family."

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Spending time with your family is a chore?

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By the end of the discussion, a clear message emerged: being a parent means your time is never fully your own, but that doesn’t mean rest is impossible. It just requires teamwork and empathy. OP’s exhaustion was real, but so was his wife’s.

The real issue wasn’t that he wanted rest, it was that he wanted it at his family’s expense rather than in partnership with them. This story reflects a common struggle among modern parents, especially fathers, who equate financial contribution with entitlement to rest.

But parenting is more than economics; it’s emotional labor, physical exhaustion, and shared responsibility. True balance comes not from claiming personal time as a right, but from ensuring that both partners get the chance to recover.

Because in a family, no one earns rest more than the other—it’s something both deserve, and something best found together.