AITA for Asking My Former Best Friend to Leave on Valentines Day?

Valentine’s Day was supposed to be OP’s little, cozy reset, just her, her seafood boil mountain, and the kind of binge-watching that doesn’t require anyone else’s opinions. She planned a whole day alone on purpose, no calls, no interruptions, pink lemonade included.

Then her former best friend, Annie, showed up unannounced right as OP was hauling groceries into her apartment. Annie didn’t take the “I’m busy” hint, pressed her way through the door, and joked about “shock therapy” like OP’s boundaries were a game. OP finally told her to leave, but now Annie’s friend group is texting that OP is selfish, stubborn, and somehow humiliating.

Now OP has to figure out if she overreacted, or if Annie just treated Valentine’s Day like an open invitation to invade.

Original Post

I ( f 40s) decided to spend Valentine's Day by myself. I'm single and I planned this.

I didn't book any calls so that I could sit, relax, eat the food that I Iike and binge watch V****n River and Mike Chen. So I bought an obscene amount of seafood boil, soda, cake and pink lemonade.

Honestly, I was having a beautiful day. Well, my ex best friend Annie showed up.

It's not that we are enemies but we grew apart because we have very different ideas and expectations on friendship. I'm loyal and expect respect and honesty.

She wanted to come first, and had demands that conflicted with my needs. I stepped away because I felt like she wanted me to set myself on fire to keep her warm.

I was mortified, because she caught me as I was walking into my apartment and bringing my groceries in. I awkwardly tried to keep her out while holding all my bags and she kind of pressed her body against me to be able to make it through the door.

I told her I was busy but she took it as a joke and said it's Valentine's Day and that I need "shock therapy" so it's a good time to learn to share my space and goodies. I didn't laugh and she rubbed her hands while saying ' you won't get rid of me that easily' like some evil cartoon character, which wasn't funny at all.

I told her she was invading my space. She said she was around the neighborhood and spontaneous visits are a form of generosity.

I told her she needed to leave. I've been getting texts from her other friend who says I'm selfish and stubborn and that I shouldn't have kicked her out and that I humiliated her.

AITA?

Comment from u/[deleted]

Comment from u/SnooDoughnuts4691

Comment from u/oaksandpines1776

Comment from u/LetsGetsThisPartyOn

Comment from u/Serious-Day5968

Comment from u/dkelly256

Comment from u/[deleted]

Comment from u/hes_got_a_guard

Comment from u/badpandacat

This is similar to the roommate who rehomed her roommate’s nonstop meowing cat behind her back.

Comment from u/Consistent-Leopard71

Comment from u/Cpt_Riker

Comment from u/NinjaMom23

Comment from u/Dittoheadforever

Comment from u/Heraonolympia123

Comment from u/Odd_Task8211

Comment from u/CZ1988_

Comment from u/InfiniteSlack

Comment from u/koolestkittenevah

Comment from u/Charming-Park2855

Comment from u/Uncorked53

OP was mid-grocery haul when Annie caught her, and that’s where the whole “planned solitude” fantasy immediately fell apart.

Annie’s “shock therapy” comment and the way she pressed her body to get inside made OP’s “no visitors” rule feel less like a boundary and more like a fight.

When OP told Annie to leave, Annie flipped it into a “spontaneous visits are generosity” argument, like the day was hers to claim.

The final twist is the texts from Annie’s other friend, calling OP selfish after OP says she was trying to keep her space, food, and peace.</p>

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

OP might not be the villain for kicking out someone who showed up uninvited and treated her “alone” plan like a suggestion.

Want another “I took action without asking” situation, see what happened when roommates neglected a cat and it got secretly rehomed.