AITA for Dating My Friends Ex? Navigating Love and Loyalty

A 27-year-old man thought he was finally getting his life back on track, then a blind date turned into a loyalty bomb. He clicked instantly with Alex, the kind of connection that makes you forget you were even lonely, and the timing felt almost cinematic.

But the catch is brutal: Alex is Sarah’s ex from college, and Sarah never told him because she and Alex “never quite got over” it. Now OP is caught between a real spark and a real betrayal accusation, with Sarah refusing to speak and Alex stuck playing referee between two people who both matter.

And that’s how a setup meant to help turned into a friendship test he didn’t know he was signing up for.

Original Post

So I'm (27M) and recently single after a messy breakup. My friend Sarah (26F) set me up on a blind date with this amazing person, Alex.

We hit it off instantly, and things started getting serious fast. Here's the twist: I found out that Alex is Sarah's ex from college who they'd never quite gotten over.

I didn't know they had a history until it was too late. I really like Alex but Sarah feels betrayed and hurt.

She's accusing me of going behind her back and breaking the 'friend code.' I value both their friendships, but I also can't deny the connection I have with Alex. Sarah refuses to speak to me, and Alex is caught in the middle.

I feel torn between my feelings for Alex and my loyalty to Sarah. So AITA?

I honestly don't know if I'm wrong here. Really need outside perspective.

This situation strikes a chord because it highlights the delicate balance between loyalty and attraction. The OP's blind date with Alex, set up by Sarah, complicates matters significantly. Not only does the OP find himself drawn to someone who once shared a romantic connection with his friend, but he also faces the unspoken expectations of loyalty that often come with friendships. It’s one thing to be attracted to someone; it’s another to risk hurting a friend by pursuing that attraction.

Sarah's role adds another layer of complexity. Did she fail to consider the emotional fallout of setting them up? This scenario opens the door for discussions about whether friendships can survive such entangled romantic interests, and it’s a debate that resonates deeply with readers who’ve likely found themselves in similar situations.

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Sarah set up the blind date, and OP’s instant chemistry with Alex was the exact moment everything should have come with a warning label.

Once OP learned Alex was Sarah’s college ex, the “friend code” stopped being a vibe and started being a courtroom.

This is similar to how the best friend set up the blind date with the ex, then the OP skipped the surprise party and paid for it.

The Heart vs. the Head

This article dives into the moral gray areas of dating within friend groups. The OP's situation forces us to question where our loyalties lie when love is involved. He didn’t know about Alex’s past with Sarah, but now that he does, should he back off? That’s a tough call, especially when feelings are in play. The fact that Sarah orchestrated the meeting but didn’t disclose the history makes it harder for the OP to navigate his next steps.

This isn’t just a simple case of ‘dating a friend’s ex’; it’s about weighing personal happiness against the potential fallout. Readers are likely divided on whether the OP should pursue Alex or prioritize his friendship with Sarah, reflecting a universal struggle to balance love and loyalty in our own lives.

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Alex is now caught in the middle of a messy triangle, trying to enjoy his own feelings while Sarah’s hurt turns into silence.

OP is stuck watching Sarah shut him out, wondering whether choosing love means breaking the one friendship he still wants to keep.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

This story encapsulates the emotional tug-of-war many face in the realm of relationships.

He may have found the person he likes, but he might also have lost the friendship he can’t replace.

Still torn about the “friend code” after dating your friend’s ex who showed interest? Check out this AITA about dating a friend’s ex after they showed interest.