Am I the Jerk for Giving a $25 Gift Card to My Cousins Birthday Party?

OP thought she was doing the normal cousin thing, show up with a little care package, and leave with everyone happy. Instead, a $25 gift card turned into a whole family side quest the moment her cousin’s dad checked the balance.

Here’s the messy part: the birthday invite got moved from Sunday to Friday last minute, OP only had one day to scramble, and she literally rearranged her work schedule to make it. She rushed out after work at 2:00, grabbed her sister, hit the mall, bought face masks and her cousin’s favorite treats, then added a $25 gift card on top of about $50 total.

But when OP learned her aunt was offended and compared her to another cousin who gave $100, the whole thing stopped feeling like a thoughtful gift and started feeling like a judgment.

Original Post

So I (F 20s) had a birthday invite from my cousin. It was originally supposed to be on Sunday but it got changed to Friday last minute.

I only had one day notice. I had work Friday evening but I asked my boss if I could switch and ended up working Friday morning instead so I could go.

After work at 2:00 I had to pick up my sister at 2:30 and I was already running late. I rushed to grab gifts for my cousin.

I got some small things like face masks, a basket with her favorite treats, and a $25 gift card. In total I spent about $50.

I rushed straight from work, picked up my sister, then picked up my cousin and we went to the mall, grabbed dinner, and later gave her the gifts. Later I found out that when my cousin went shopping with her dad, he checked the balance on the gift card and told my aunt it was “only $25.” My aunt got offended and even involved my mom.

She also compared it to another cousin who gave $100. I am honestly hurt because I rearranged my schedule, rushed all day, and spent about $50 total.

Now I feel embarrassed about what I gave and it makes me not even want to go to birthdays anymore. AITA for only giving a $25 gift card?

Edit: I was told my cousin herself did not complain and may not have even known about the issue. The comments about the gift came from her mom.

I was also told my aunt felt bad that I heard about it.

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It also echoes the fight between sisters, where one refused to keep covering repeated financial missteps.

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OP switched her shift, grabbed her sister, and still made it to the mall, so it’s wild that the first “issue” anyone noticed was the gift card balance her cousin’s dad checked.</p>

The aunt got offended after being told it was “only $25,” and suddenly OP’s $50 effort with the treats and face masks was getting treated like a personal insult.</p>

Then the comparison to the cousin who gave $100 landed, right as OP was already feeling embarrassed about rearranging her Friday for this party.</p>

The plot twist is that OP later heard her cousin might not have even complained, meaning the drama came from her mom, not the birthday girl herself.</p>

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

OP might not be the jerk, but that family dinner energy definitely did not end well.

For another family caregiving standoff, see what happened when a solo caregiver hesitated over her distant sibling’s help.