Daddy-To-Be With All The Audacity Turns To The Reddit Community For A Moment Of Clarity
Imagine being this oblivious to your own behavior and attitude? Can't relate.
If there is anything we can surely all agree on, there are a lot of arrogant, callous, careless, and rude people in the world. The epitome of selfish is personified more often than we could ever articulate.
This is not a good thing, people really need to scale back their self-centered lifestyles and spend a crumble of effort on being a decent human. It costs nothing to not be a jerk.
Speaking of not being a jerk and how easy it is, someone didn't get the life lesson. Generally speaking, someone with a uterus can only get pregnant so many times and unless birth occurred at the beginning of the year and the end of the year, giving birth to more than one singleton baby in a year is just not possible.
On the other hand, if you're dispensing sperm into the world you can really procreate like there's no tomorrow. Perhaps this has a lot to do with the gap of cognitive dissonance between someone who can give birth and someone who cannot.
This Reddit user posed a simple question but the reality of his situation was not as simple as he originally phrased it. This is not uncommon on r/AITA and once the details unfolded it became abundantly clear that not only was OP the asshole, he was a major one at that.
Using a classic move, this Reddit user created a throw-away account to ask a serious question:
u/throwaway_6030At a glance, without the info, most people would agree that dads should be allowed in the delivery room. However, OP is a piece of work.
u/throwaway_6030COVID restrictions significantly impacted who could support people giving birth.
u/throwaway_6030
Understanding Self-Perception and Awareness
The man's request for clarity from the Reddit community showcases a lack of self-awareness that is often rooted in cognitive biases. Social psychologists emphasize that individuals can develop blind spots regarding their behavior, leading to misunderstandings in social interactions. Research indicates that our self-perception is often distorted by cognitive biases like the Dunning-Kruger effect, where individuals with lower ability in a domain overestimate their competence.
This can lead to significant misalignments between self-perception and social reality.
Understanding Male Entitlement in Relationships
This scenario highlights a concerning pattern of entitlement often observed in male behavior within relationships. Research by Dr. Michael Kimmel, a sociologist studying masculinity, indicates that societal norms can contribute to a sense of entitlement among men, leading to expectations that their needs should take precedence over their partner's. This belief can manifest in behaviors that appear oblivious or self-centered, as seen in this father's approach to his impending fatherhood.
Such entitlement can create significant strain in relationships, particularly if the partner feels their needs and emotions are disregarded.
4,647 Comments landed on the thread before it was shut down and OP had to add in more info that actually did not help him at all.
u/throwaway_6030
When we say this daddy-to-be has ALL the audacity, he really has all of it.
The experience of childbirth is an emotional and physical journey like no other. Active labor can last over 8 hours and many people experience 24-36 hours of being in labor.
It is often an emotional, exhausting, and painful experience (with an incredible reward at the end,) and while it is one of the most common reasons anyone goes to a hospital ever, it is not without risk. Worldwide, it is estimated that a little over 300,000 women die every year giving birth.
The United States has some of the worst maternal death statistics for a developed country. As of 2018, the US had an estimated "17.4 deaths per 100,000 live births. It is estimated that 20-50% of these deaths are due to preventable causes, such as: hemorrhage, severe high blood pressure, and infection."
Why would anyone want a person in the delivery room who wasn't 100% all in for them, making them feel comfortable, respected, and loved? Nobody wants birth to be any more stressful than it already is.
Reddit users were ravenous with responses, dubbing OP THE Asshole.
SnooDoughnuts2846
Honestly.
odysseyshot
The situation also reflects the importance of social feedback in personal growth. A developmental psychologist notes that constructive criticism from peers can be a catalyst for self-improvement, helping individuals recognize areas for growth. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that feedback can enhance self-awareness and promote positive behavioral changes.
This highlights the need for individuals to be open to external perspectives to foster personal development.
Moreover, the concept of 'toxic masculinity' plays a crucial role in understanding these dynamics. A study published in the Journal of Men's Studies discusses how traditional gender roles can hinder emotional expression and connection in relationships. When men feel pressured to conform to these norms, they may struggle to navigate their feelings and connect with their partners authentically, leading to feelings of frustration and disconnection.
This disconnect can contribute to the father's obliviousness to how his actions might affect his partner, heightening tension in the relationship.
Imagine taking absolutely zero blame for your own actions.
Eelpan2 / AllCrumblesNoCake
Mental Gymnastics ASF
BaconEggAndCheeseSPK
Listen, if you spend enough time around mothers and in parenting support groups you will quickly discover that if there is anything men have, it's the audacity.
[deleted] / Michael_Chandra
The Role of Reflection in Personal Growth
Reflective practices can significantly improve self-awareness and understanding of one's impact on others. A mental health expert suggests that engaging in regular self-reflection can help individuals recognize patterns in their behavior and identify areas that may require change. Studies indicate that individuals who practice reflection are better equipped to navigate their relationships and respond to feedback constructively.
Practical strategies include journaling or seeking feedback from trusted friends, which can foster greater insight and awareness.
Strategies for Encouraging Emotional Awareness
To foster healthier relationships, it's essential for individuals to develop emotional awareness and empathy. Experts recommend engaging in self-reflection practices, such as journaling or therapy, which can help individuals explore their feelings and motivations. By understanding their emotional landscape, individuals can become more attuned to their partner's needs, promoting a more balanced relationship.
In this case, the father could benefit from exploring his feelings about impending fatherhood and how these emotions might influence his behavior towards his partner, enhancing their connection.
This is all you, cap!
centiscorch
"Me, me, me!"
Stoat__King
This is quite agreeable.
joerobertmusic
Moreover, the psychological concept of emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in understanding oneself and others in social contexts. A psychologist specializing in emotional intelligence notes that developing skills such as empathy and self-regulation can enhance interpersonal interactions. Research indicates that higher emotional intelligence correlates with improved relationships and greater professional success.
Investing in emotional intelligence training can empower individuals to navigate social situations more effectively, fostering a greater sense of connection with others.
Additionally, communication skills training can be a valuable tool for individuals struggling with emotional expression. Research shows that couples who practice active listening and empathy report higher relationship satisfaction. By learning to express feelings and validate one another's experiences, couples can build stronger emotional connections and navigate conflicts more effectively.
Total disregard for anyone but himself.
KhaosCookie / lixqj
Have I mentioned he has all the audacity?
BringMeThanos314
You made your bed, now lay in it.
morning_rosella
Reddit user User NoSurprise82 was awarded silver for this eloquent response:
"YTA. Sure, it's natural to want to see your child born. But her reasoning sounds solid, not petty. Since you are going to be co-parents, you should perhaps develop some empathy for her. It's because you were only thinking of your own personal wants, that your relationship with her has changed (making it understandably inappropriate for her, to have you present). Try to think about her needs a bit more.Labour is the most painful, excruciating experience most women ever experience in life. Support and comfort are absolutely important, and because of selfish choices YOU made - you're not a comfort to her any more. You would DENY her that support and comfort (and instead have her needing to tolerate your presence for hours - which might cause her distress and bad memories at the best of times?! Let alone when she's in pain?!)In addition, she's not your partner any more. It's not unreasonable for her to feel uncomfortable in you seeing her undressed. You don't get any right to see her undressed in this situation if she doesn't consent to it, just because you were intimate once.Plus (depending on her choices), births can involve defecating/enemas, heavy vaginal bleeding, all sorts of instruments being inserted, lying with her exposed vagina dilated for a considerable time, etc. She also gets to keep that private from who she chooses. Her body, her choice.As I said, I get you have a desire to see your child born. And if she was preventing you from seeing your child born purely to punish you, that would be wrong - but still something you couldn't override (I don't get the impression she's doing that, however). But what you ask isn't reasonable, under the circumstances. To satisfy your wishes, you're expecting her to sacrifice all her NEEDS (which are objectively more pressing than your wishes, whilst she's in labour), e.g. expecting her to forego comfort/support whilst in extreme agony, expecting her to be comfortable undressed/possibly defecating in front of you (even though you're not her partner anymore), etc.As a father, you're going to have to get used to sometimes putting your own wants to one side, for another person (your child). So start practicing that now, with your ex (whilst she is facing one of the most stressful, painful experiences of her life). Try to accept you have a role in this - your selfish desires caused a situation in which you are neither comforting nor intimate with her anymore. Be gracious and less selfish for once, and let her have her reasonable needs in labour met. It won't affect your overall bond with your child, as long as you step up after the birth."
giphy
Giving birth is VULNERABLE.
Did you know that pooping during labor is so common that hospitals don't even track it? It's not 100% but you may as well anticipate it.
KSknitter
HUGE asshole. HUGE.
4614065 / Vicious_Mockery
YTA
CandyCaboose
A round of applause for this brilliant response.
Infin8Player
"Birth is not a spectator sport."
iolaus79
tenor
How detatched from reality is this guy?
SoullessCycle / mykidisonhere
My how the turns have tabled.
Fro_Reallzz0211 / erinlp93
GROW UP
EllieUki
Can we all just take a moment to appreciate this Redditor's energy? Thanks.
UchennaMaximoff
tenor
Can anyone believe he thinks she's being petty?
Sinjury
REAL TALK
RaysUnderwater
Unanimous ASF
DetectiveGurlKudo
Honestly, before you cheat on your partner who is pregnant, please consider how serious the consequences can become.
Far-Side2489 / testyhedgehog
Wherever this woman is in the world, we hope she's surrounded by the best support system on the planet because she got pregnant with an absolute noodle of a human. He is arrogant, ignorant, and rude.
Has there ever been a time in your life when someone had peak audacity in your opinion? Feel free to share the audacity around in the comment section now.
Psychological Analysis
This situation reflects a common challenge in relationships where one partner may feel entitled to prioritize their needs without considering their partner's feelings. It's important for individuals to recognize how societal norms can influence their behavior and to actively work on developing empathy and emotional awareness. Open communication is key to building stronger relationships.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In summary, understanding the dynamics of entitlement and emotional expression in relationships is crucial for fostering healthy partnerships. As Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, states, "Emotional awareness is key to understanding your partner's needs and enhancing relationship satisfaction." Additionally, Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, a marriage therapist, emphasizes that "prioritizing empathy and open communication can transform relationships, leading to more balanced and fulfilling connections." By embracing these principles, individuals can cultivate stronger and more meaningful partnerships.
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
This scenario illustrates the complexities of self-perception and the impact of social feedback on personal growth. According to research in social psychology, developing self-awareness is essential for fostering healthier relationships and improving social interactions. Ultimately, cultivating reflection and emotional intelligence can lead to more positive outcomes in both personal and professional domains.