Daddy-To-Be With All The Audacity Turns To The Reddit Community For A Moment Of Clarity

A Reddit post about a soon-to-be dad asking for a little clarity quickly turned into a full-blown pile-on, and for good reason.

He wanted to know if he was wrong for expecting to be in the delivery room, but the details made the situation a lot messier than a simple yes or no. Between the pregnancy, the relationship, and the timing, Reddit had plenty to say.

By the time the thread was done, the verdict was not subtle. Read on.

Using a classic move, this Reddit user created a throw-away account to ask a serious question:

u/throwaway_6030

At a glance, without the info, most people would agree that dads should be allowed in the delivery room. However, OP is a piece of work.

u/throwaway_6030

COVID restrictions significantly impacted who could support people giving birth.

u/throwaway_6030

The man's request for clarity from the Reddit community showcases a lack of self-awareness that is often rooted in cognitive biases. Research indicates that our self-perception is often distorted by cognitive biases like the Dunning-Kruger effect, where individuals with lower ability in a domain overestimate their competence.

This can lead to significant misalignments between self-perception and social reality.

This scenario highlights a concerning pattern of entitlement often observed in male behavior within relationships. This belief can manifest in behaviors that appear oblivious or self-centered, as seen in this father's approach to his impending fatherhood.

Such entitlement can create significant strain in relationships, particularly if the partner feels their needs and emotions are disregarded.

4,647 Comments landed on the thread before it was shut down and OP had to add in more info that actually did not help him at all.

u/throwaway_6030

The experience of childbirth is an emotional and physical journey like no other. Active labor can last over 8 hours and many people experience 24-36 hours of being in labor.

It is often an emotional, exhausting, and painful experience (with an incredible reward at the end,) and while it is one of the most common reasons anyone goes to a hospital ever, it is not without risk. Worldwide, it is estimated that a little over 300,000 women die every year giving birth.

The United States has some of the worst maternal death statistics for a developed country. As of 2018, the US had an estimated "17.4 deaths per 100,000 live births. It is estimated that 20-50% of these deaths are due to preventable causes, such as: hemorrhage, severe high blood pressure, and infection."

Why would anyone want a person in the delivery room who wasn't 100% all in for them, making them feel comfortable, respected, and loved? Nobody wants birth to be any more stressful than it already is.

Reddit users were ravenous with responses, dubbing OP THE Asshole.

SnooDoughnuts2846

Honestly.

odysseyshot

This scenario underscores the critical role of community feedback in shaping personal growth.

Moreover, the concept of 'toxic masculinity' plays a crucial role in understanding these dynamics. A study published in the Journal of Research discusses how traditional gender roles can hinder emotional expression and connection in relationships. When men feel pressured to conform to these norms, they may struggle to navigate their feelings and connect with their partners authentically, leading to feelings of frustration and disconnection.

This disconnect can contribute to the father's obliviousness to how his actions might affect his partner, heightening tension in the relationship.

Imagine taking absolutely zero blame for your own actions.

Eelpan2 / AllCrumblesNoCake

Mental Gymnastics ASF

BaconEggAndCheeseSPK

Listen, if you spend enough time around mothers and in parenting support groups you will quickly discover that if there is anything men have, it's the audacity.

[deleted] / Michael_Chandra

Reflective practices can significantly improve self-awareness and understanding of one's impact on others.

To foster healthier relationships, it's essential for individuals to develop emotional awareness and empathy. Engaging in self-reflection practices, such as journaling or therapy, can help individuals explore their feelings and motivations. By understanding their emotional landscape, individuals can become more attuned to their partner's needs, promoting a more balanced relationship.

In this case, the father could benefit from exploring his feelings about impending fatherhood and how these emotions might influence his behavior toward his partner, enhancing their connection.

This is all you, cap!

centiscorch

"Me, me, me!"

Stoat__King

This is quite agreeable.

joerobertmusic

Moreover, the psychological concept of emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in understanding oneself and others in social contexts. Developing skills such as empathy and self-regulation can enhance interpersonal interactions.

Investing in emotional intelligence training can empower individuals to navigate social situations more effectively, fostering a greater sense of connection with others.

This gets similar to the AITA where someone refused to let a boyfriend keep a neglected cat.

Additionally, communication skills training can be a valuable tool for individuals struggling with emotional expression.

Total disregard for anyone but himself.

KhaosCookie / lixqj

Have I mentioned he has all the audacity?

BringMeThanos314

You made your bed, now lay in it.

morning_rosella

Reddit user User NoSurprise82 was awarded silver for this eloquent response:

"YTA. Sure, it's natural to want to see your child born. But her reasoning sounds solid, not petty. Since you are going to be co-parents, you should perhaps develop some empathy for her. It's because you were only thinking of your own personal wants, that your relationship with her has changed (making it understandably inappropriate for her, to have you present). Try to think about her needs a bit more.Labour is the most painful, excruciating experience most women ever experience in life. Support and comfort are absolutely important, and because of selfish choices YOU made - you're not a comfort to her any more. You would DENY her that support and comfort (and instead have her needing to tolerate your presence for hours - which might cause her distress and bad memories at the best of times?! Let alone when she's in pain?!)In addition, she's not your partner any more. It's not unreasonable for her to feel uncomfortable in you seeing her undressed. You don't get any right to see her undressed in this situation if she doesn't consent to it, just because you were intimate once.Plus (depending on her choices), births can involve defecating/enemas, heavy vaginal bleeding, all sorts of instruments being inserted, lying with her exposed vagina dilated for a considerable time, etc. She also gets to keep that private from who she chooses. Her body, her choice.As I said, I get you have a desire to see your child born. And if she was preventing you from seeing your child born purely to punish you, that would be wrong - but still something you couldn't override (I don't get the impression she's doing that, however). But what you ask isn't reasonable, under the circumstances. To satisfy your wishes, you're expecting her to sacrifice all her NEEDS (which are objectively more pressing than your wishes, whilst she's in labour), e.g. expecting her to forego comfort/support whilst in extreme agony, expecting her to be comfortable undressed/possibly defecating in front of you (even though you're not her partner anymore), etc.As a father, you're going to have to get used to sometimes putting your own wants to one side, for another person (your child). So start practicing that now, with your ex (whilst she is facing one of the most stressful, painful experiences of her life). Try to accept you have a role in this - your selfish desires caused a situation in which you are neither comforting nor intimate with her anymore. Be gracious and less selfish for once, and let her have her reasonable needs in labour met. It won't affect your overall bond with your child, as long as you step up after the birth."giphy

Giving birth is VULNERABLE.

Did you know that pooping during labor is so common that hospitals don't even track it? It's not 100% but you may as well anticipate it.

KSknitter

HUGE asshole. HUGE.

4614065 / Vicious_Mockery

YTA

CandyCaboose

A round of applause for this brilliant response.

Infin8Player

"Birth is not a spectator sport."

iolaus79 tenor

How detatched from reality is this guy?

SoullessCycle / mykidisonhere

My how the turns have tabled.

Fro_Reallzz0211 / erinlp93

GROW UP

EllieUki

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate this Redditor's energy? Thanks.

UchennaMaximoff tenor

Can anyone believe he thinks she's being petty?

Sinjury

REAL TALK

RaysUnderwater

Unanimous ASF

DetectiveGurlKudo

Honestly, before you cheat on your partner who is pregnant, please consider how serious the consequences can become.

Far-Side2489 / testyhedgehog

Wherever this woman is in the world, we hope she's surrounded by the best support system on the planet because she got pregnant with an absolute noodle of a human. He is arrogant, ignorant, and rude.

Has there ever been a time in your life when someone had peak audacity in your opinion? Feel free to share the audacity around in the comment section now.

The recent Reddit post highlights a troubling trend of entitlement and emotional neglect that can undermine relationships.

This situation underscores the intricate dynamics of self-perception and highlights how social feedback can influence personal development. The individual at the center of this narrative appears to be grappling with a profound lack of self-awareness, which is emblematic of a broader issue prevalent in society today. The callousness displayed not only affects personal relationships but also raises questions about the ability to engage meaningfully with others. Cultivating emotional intelligence and the capacity for reflection is crucial; without these qualities, the individual risks perpetuating a cycle of selfishness that can hinder both personal fulfillment and community harmony.

Before you judge, read about the OP who told their baby’s gender without consulting their partner.