Childless Man Asks Reddit If He Is Wrong For Avoiding His Friends' Kids During Their Gatherings After They Accuse Him Of Being A Child Hater

A childless man on Reddit says he is being painted as the bad guy for trying to keep some distance from his friends' kids during get-togethers.

He is in his early thirties, has ADHD, and says noisy, kid-filled environments drain him fast, even though he does not dislike children. The problem started when his friends noticed he was avoiding direct interaction and took it as a personal insult.

Now the group is split, and the question is whether he is setting a boundary or being unfair to his friends' families.

Having children isn't for everyone.

For this reason, he chose to avoid them entirely. So, when he was invited to gatherings with friends who have kids, he opted to say no directly rather than risk hurting their feelings by saying anything about children that could be perceived as unkind. Instead, his friends have interpreted his actions as those of someone who hates children, even though they are aware of his condition.

StillWorksImagery (not the actual photo)

OP's post on Reddit community.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

Not planning to settle down like most people his age do.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

OP can't raise kids but gets along with them.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

His life, his rules, and his choices.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

Being around kids drains a lot of his energy.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

Sensory issues because of ADHD.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

If there are only kid-friendly hangouts to chill.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

Why children want to spend time with OP instead of their parents.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

He thought of an alternative way to avoid the kids instead of directly saying no to them.

Reddit-hug-a-cat

That workaround did not stay hidden for long.

This is similar to a housing-crisis AITA where someone refused their brother’s chaotic family move-in request.

However, his friends quickly noticed it and called him out.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

They accused him of being selfish and hating the kids, which is not true.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

They pointed out how they can't just avoid their kids when they want to, insisting OP would do the same.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

His friends are guilt-tripping him for not hanging out with their children.

Reddit/hug-a-cat

Some Redditors thought he was simply protecting his own peace.

#1 Do what is best for your mental well-being.

Reddit/BooBeans71

#2 They want to take a break and let you entertain their kids for them.

Reddit/hdkb824

#3 Parents should respect other people's time.

Reddit/Full_Worldliness1480

#4 You are just doing what is best for you and their children.

Reddit/No-Policy-4095

#5 It is your decision to not have children, and your reasons are valid.

Reddit/zwergschnauzer

#6 Not wanting to be around kids doesn't mean you hate them.

Reddit/fridgepickle

#7 If they wanted to spend time with YOU, it wouldn't matter if you show up when the kids are asleep.

Reddit/DelurkingtoComment

No matter how good your intentions are, explaining your side will be pointless if people choose to believe what they want to think. On the other hand, people who genuinely care for you will understand, considering that everyone isn't the same.

Have you ever encountered people who don't like to be around children? Share this story and your experience with your family and friends!

He might never win over everyone in the group.

Wondering about boundaries too, see why an infertility struggle led to backlash after refusing a baby shower host role.