Red-Flag GF Asks New BF For His Tax Return And Divorce Certificate Three Weeks Into Their Relationship

Alarm bells blared in a 32-year-old's head when his girlfriend of three weeks asked for divorce documents and proof of income. OP stated that he got married young and divorced in 2020.

He started dating three years later and has had two serious GFs before his current one. Neither of his two GFs asked for these papers, so OP was surprised.

His GF, in jest, questioned whether OP was even married. She interrogated him earnestly about the marriage once he responded.

She asked why she couldn't find public information about his divorce. She said his defensiveness about the whole thing was sketchy.

She also doubted OP's financial stability and asked why he still lived with him if he had no budgetary issues. His GF stated she would move on if he couldn't comply with her requests, as she was looking for someone "to do life with."

Her worries and doubts weren't eased even after OP agreed to show her his divorce certificate. She wondered if OP was honest when he said she was his first GF to ask about the authenticity of his divorce.

She accused OP of gaslighting her when he reiterated that she was the first person to ask for proof of divorce. OP's main issue now is his proof of income.

He is reluctant to show his tax return to his GF.

Intrepid-Spend9229

He contemplated breaking up with her. Although they have a great connection, he recognized some issues that could affect their relationship.

Intrepid-Spend9229

Understanding Financial Transparency in Relationships

Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist at Creighton University, emphasizes that financial discussions are often laden with emotional baggage.

His research indicates that money can serve as a proxy for deeper issues of trust, security, and power in relationships.

When one partner requests financial documents early in a relationship, it may signal underlying trust issues that need to be addressed.

OP explained how he had two "serious" GFs in a year and a half. Neither doubted whether he was telling the truth about his marriage.

BawdyAudrey, Intrepid-Spend9229

He mentioned that his GF works in finance and potentially makes more than he does. Is that why she is so interested in his income?

octopoddle, Intrepid-Spend9229

Red Flags in Relationships

Psychologists emphasize that certain behaviors, like demanding financial documents early in a relationship, can indicate underlying issues.

Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that such actions may stem from insecurity or a need for control.

In this case, the girlfriend’s request could signal deeper trust issues that need to be addressed for the relationship to flourish.

She was wise to ask for proof of divorce. Too many people have been burned by "divorced" men looking for an affair.

oH_my_7883

OP's living situation didn't necessarily mean he was broke. He might have reasons for sharing an apartment with his sibling.

Thanmandrathor

Studies show that financial infidelity can be just as damaging as emotional or physical infidelity.

This highlights the importance of fostering open communication about finances to build trust and security within relationships.

If nothing else, OP might consider ending the relationship for this reason alone.

taco_jones, Efficient_Ant_4715

Is his GF looking to upgrade her lifestyle on OP's dime? Could that be why she asked for his tax return after weeks of dating?

bankshots_lol, theloveburts

Understanding these red flags is crucial for individuals in new relationships, as they can prevent future emotional distress.

Experts recommend being mindful of behaviors that may reflect deeper psychological concerns, such as possessiveness or manipulativeness.

Recognizing these patterns early can help individuals make informed decisions about their relationships.

Redditors encouraged OP to end the relationship ASAP.

LegitimateOutcome777

Otherwise, he would spend the entirety of it easing his GF's unfounded doubts.

emryldmyst

Building Trust Through Communication

Dr. Ellen Langer from Harvard University suggests that open discussions about financial goals and transparency can significantly improve relational dynamics.

Her research indicates that couples who engage in regular financial check-ins report higher levels of satisfaction and trust.

Utilizing tools like budgeting apps can also facilitate these discussions and enhance transparency.

Be sure to have a witness present when breaking up with her, advised one commenter.

poolninjas

Rules for thee but not for me.

Own-Departure-4104

Building Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships are founded on mutual trust, respect, and open communication.

According to research from Stanford University, partners who communicate their needs and boundaries effectively tend to experience greater relational satisfaction.

In this case, the boyfriend might benefit from discussing his discomfort with the girlfriend's request openly.

However, OP should get used to women asking for proof of his claims. But the tax return was a step too far.

WildLoad2410

OP's update: he broke up with his GF! She insulted him over text, which helped OP make his decision.

Intrepid-Spend9229

Practicing vulnerability in financial discussions can be empowering. Research supports that sharing financial fears and aspirations can foster deeper emotional connections.

Couples who navigate these discussions together often report a strengthening of their bond.

Psychological Analysis

This behavior reflects common patterns found in relationships where insecurity and control issues are at play.

Addressing these concerns openly can help both partners understand each other's perspectives and foster a deeper connection.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Recognizing red flags in relationships is essential for maintaining emotional health and well-being.

Psychological research consistently underscores the importance of trust and communication in fostering satisfying partnerships.

Ultimately, being proactive and addressing concerns early can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights how financial discussions can reveal deeper trust issues in relationships, particularly when one partner feels insecure.

Addressing these concerns openly can foster understanding and lead to healthier relational dynamics.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Financial transparency is crucial for building trust and security within relationships.

Research indicates that open discussions and shared financial goals can enhance relational satisfaction and reduce conflicts.

Practical strategies for fostering healthy relationships include establishing trust through transparency and encouraging open dialogues about finances.

Experts suggest that partners should regularly check in with each other to ensure both feel comfortable and secure in the relationship.

This proactive approach can prevent misunderstandings and build a strong foundation for the future.

OP also explained in his update why his brother still lived with him. If future partners took that as an indication he was financially struggling, then he would know how to respond.

OP said he realized and learned a lot thanks to his ex-GF. He would use those lessons to screen future partners.