Redditor Yells At Dad After He Taught Her Pet Bird To Say Curse Words, Asks Internet If She Was An A-Hole For Doing So

Animals are wonderful creatures. It is just sad that many of them, specifically the domesticated ones, need new homes to take them in.

They are usually sent to a shelter and cared for to prepare them for adoption. When it comes to the typical overflowing pet population, the shelters find or assign a pet to a foster parent or family to support the animals, as well as the shelters, allowing for more room for animals who need help.

As a foster parent, you have the responsibility to care for the animal until it gets adopted. This means doing everything in your power to make the animals look as presentable and irresistible, while also keeping them as healthy as possible.

In this specific Reddit thread, the couple (OP and her husband) tries to do just that. However, they face a situation that could have been avoided, if not for the person they entrusted the parrot to for a short amount of time, specifically a week.

One of the people to whom they entrusted the pet has taught a trick that is not good for the animal—it makes them less likely to be adopted, you see (although many would disagree). OP confronts them after finding out—by the way, that person is her dad.

Here's the sitch:

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OP and her husband are foster parents to an older parrot named Cosmo—he loves people and has some health issues, making it hard for him to be placed into a home. In the shelter where he is from, it is a requirement to reveal if a parrot knows curse words (if they do, they are less likely to be adopted), so the couple makes sure they don’t curse around Cosmo.

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When the couple had to be away for a week, they had OP’s parents watch over Cosmo—they made sure to note that the bird can easily pick up on things, so they shouldn’t watch anything inappropriate or curse when he is around. One week later, they come back and find out that Cosmo is cursing the F-word.

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Understanding Emotional Responses

This situation illustrates how emotional responses can vary widely based on individual upbringing and values. The daughter's reaction to her father's behavior can be understood through the lens of emotional attachment theory. According to Dr. John Bowlby, our early relationships with caregivers shape how we respond to emotional situations later in life. When a parent acts in a way that feels disrespectful, it can trigger feelings of betrayal or abandonment in their children.

OP calls her parents—her mom swears she didn’t curse or watch any adult shows when Cosmo was there, but her dad did.

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To make matters worse, her dad thought Cosmo saying the F-word was funny, so he gave the bird a treat every time he said it—which is very bad since Cosmo now associates the F-word with treats—so OP got so mad that she yelled at him over the phone and hung up.

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Here's what people have to say:

If Cosmo really entertains you, Dad, you should just go and keep him. It seems like the possibility of the bird being adopted just went a whole lot lower.

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From a psychological perspective, yelling often indicates heightened emotional arousal. Research from the Journal of Emotion reveals that such responses can stem from a lack of effective coping strategies for managing frustration or disappointment. The daughter’s outburst could reflect an inability to communicate her feelings constructively, which is common in high-stress family dynamics.

The request was only for a few days. Is that responsibility so hard to uphold?

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The fact that birds are hard to adopt out is sad. Dad shouldn’t have done it, though.

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You told him what not to do, but he did it anyway. It was intentional.

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Effective Communication Strategies

To navigate such conflicts, families can benefit from implementing effective communication strategies. Dr. John Gray, a renowned relationship author, emphasizes that "using non-confrontational language can help reduce defensiveness and foster a more open dialogue." By focusing on feelings rather than accusations, families can create a safer environment for discussion. According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, "this approach not only encourages understanding but also builds empathy among family members." For more insights on effective communication, visit Dr. John Gray's website or Dr. Alexandra Solomon's website.

Funny for the dad, yes, but what he did is going to backfire on Cosmo. Dad is the asshole.

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Cosmo can live for up to sixty years? 30 more years of possible homelessness for poor Cosmo.

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Irresponsible, childish, and stupid. OP’s dad did both the couple and Cosmo dirty.

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One actionable solution is to encourage family members to practice active listening techniques during discussions. This involves fully engaging with what the other person is saying and reflecting back their feelings. According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher, "Active listening fosters a deeper understanding and connection, which can significantly reduce conflicts." Furthermore, Dr. William Doherty, a family therapist, emphasizes that "when individuals feel heard, they are less likely to escalate disagreements." Research supports that active listening can lead to improved relationships and reduce the likelihood of escalated conflicts.

Many parrots outlive their owners and need a second home later. Teaching them to swear makes them almost impossible to rehome—just hope the dad realizes that he is a total A-hole for doing what he did.

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Don’t apologize, OP. Your dad is a jerk.

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He went back on his promise and encouraged the bad behavior. Being older and having health issues is hard enough for Cosmo—teaching him to curse just worsens his situation.

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A possible bird adoption? This is a chance for Cosmo to have a permanent home.

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Why is the mom defending the dad when he really did mean to do what OP said he shouldn’t?

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OP explained what would happen, but it had no effect on his actions.

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What OP said to her dad was accurate. He just screwed Cosmo’s chances of being rehomed, permanently.

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The advance warning should’ve helped. Indeed, parrots are better than humans.

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How immature. Why would an old man do something a 12-year-old would do?

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OP has to find someone who will care for the bird. That someone should also not mind the cursing that is to come.

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Many things are rooted in trust—in this particular case, it is relationships and Cosmo's probability of being adopted out of the animal shelter. Being entrusted with a responsibility, whether it affects a person or an animal, should be taken seriously and not exchanged for mere entertainment.

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Psychological Analysis

This scenario highlights the complexity of emotional responses in familial relationships. The daughter's reaction, though perhaps intense, reflects a natural response to feeling disrespected or misunderstood, showcasing the importance of effective communication in resolving conflicts.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the psychological dynamics at play in family conflicts can lead to healthier interactions. Research consistently shows that effective communication and emotional awareness are key to resolving conflicts and fostering stronger relationships.