Partner Asks For Privacy And It Spirals Into Trust Issues That Threaten Everything
The privacy request that made one partner feel safe and the other feel shut out.
At 20, this couple already shares a lot. They talk often, swap recommendations, and even trust each other with access to personal social media accounts for convenience.
So when a casual conversation about books turned awkward, it caught both of them off guard.
It started during a call about reading. He had once suggested a book on a shared app, and his girlfriend loved it.
Naturally, she wanted more recommendations. Her solution felt simple and practical. She suggested exchanging usernames so she could browse his library directly.
But for him, it was not that simple. His library was filled with guilty pleasure reads he felt embarrassed about. Romance, cheesy fantasy, and titles he enjoyed privately but did not feel ready to explain or defend.
Instead of sharing his username, he offered to keep recommending books manually.
That was when the mood shifted. She went quiet, said nothing was wrong, and scrolled on her phone.
The silence stretched, and his frustration grew with each passing minute. What could have stayed small began to feel heavier than it needed to be.
Not long after, they switched to textin,g where he complained about her moody reaction to not sharing access to his book app.
She apologized in a way that felt passive, and further mentioned that she would remove her access to all his other apps since this one was too much to share with her.
The screenshots below show exactly how quickly things escalated and why both walked away feeling hurt.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comA bit of backstory
Reddit.com
OP’s girlfriend got upset and went silent after he refused sharing his username on a book app they both use
Reddit.com
He tried resolving the issue by finding out why she’s making such a big deal of his refusal. But her response wasn’t encouraging at all
Reddit.com
OP mentioned that her countenance was that of someone who is angry. This time, her reply was sharper; she threatened to remove her access to all his accounts since the book app was too much for him to share
Reddit.com
OP is seeking advice from the Reddit community on how to manage this situation
Reddit.com
We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
Reddit.com
“You need to communicate with her why you want to keep it private if you want the relationship to last.”
Reddit.com
“NTA. You’re still an individual and don’t have to share everything.”
Reddit.com
“NTA. I have been married for almost 30 years and I don't access my husband's social media or reading apps.”
Reddit.com
“This comment section is wild to me.. i have never ever shared my accounts with my partner.”
Reddit.com
“I would let my spouse log into my bookstore app when hell freezes over.”
Reddit.com
“NTA- I will never understand why partners feel entitled to every aspect of each other’s private lives.”
Reddit.com
“Tell her you have a guilty pleasure side in reading certain materials but you prefer to keep it private.”
Reddit.com
OP wanted to protect something personal that felt harmless, but unfortunately, he shut out his girlfriend in the process.
For a couple that shares access to all their social media, this felt weird to her.
Some Redditors seem to encourage privacy between couples in situations like this, while a few others encourage opening up by explaining why he wants to keep access restricted.
Moments like this often reveal how differently people define openness and privacy in relationships.
Was this about books, or about reassurance and trust? Share your thoughts and where you think the line should be drawn.
