Woman Calls Out Mom For Making Racist Comments, She Treats Her Like An Outsider

When someone makes a racist comment, it can be difficult to know how to react, especially if they are close to you or have authority over you. However, that doesn't mean you have to remain silent, as there are many options for responding to racist remarks.

Your choice of response when speaking with friends or family may differ from your choice when addressing a coworker. Confronting someone who makes a racist remark or joke can require bravery.

You might be able to overcome any uneasiness you feel while addressing racism by committing to be someone who speaks up for others. Making an early decision not to tolerate offensive language or racial slurs can also be beneficial.

The OP of today's story had to call out her mom on the AITA subreddit community for being racist. The OP traveled across the country to visit her family.

The first night she was there, the family went to a Japanese hibachi restaurant, and her mom started ordering a 'bingo box.' The OP knows that her mom is aware it's not bingo because she's heard her refer to them as Bento boxes before.

The OP also reveals that she's married to a Native American and that her parents have made racist comments to her and her husband. However, the OP's mom became angry with her, and the OP had to apologize, but her actions indicated that she was still upset with the OP.

The headline

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OP's parents have made racist comments to her and to her husband

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OP's dad has told her that her mom is still upset she called her racist

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Understanding Racism and Family Dynamics

Racist behaviors often stem from deeply ingrained societal norms and personal biases. A study from the American Psychological Association indicates that these biases can be perpetuated within families, where children absorb their parents' beliefs and attitudes. This cycle of learned behavior can lead to significant emotional and relational issues, particularly when challenged by other family members.

The confrontation in this scenario represents a critical moment in breaking this cycle, as it not only addresses the behavior but also encourages the mother to reflect on her values.

Racial Dynamics in Family Relationships

The call-out of racist comments by the woman highlights the importance of addressing racial issues within the family context.

Research from the Journal of Applied Psychology indicates that conversations about race can often be fraught with discomfort, especially within families.

This discomfort can lead to avoidance, leaving harmful attitudes unchallenged and perpetuating systemic racism.

Examining Racial Dynamics in Family Interactions

Racial dynamics within family relationships can be complex and often fraught with tension.

Dr. Laura Kim, a sociologist at the University of California, Berkeley, emphasizes that conversations about race are critical in shaping family values and beliefs.

When family members express prejudiced views, it can create feelings of alienation and conflict for those who oppose such beliefs.

And the comments roll in...

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She even started chanting it

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The OP apologized even though she didn't need to

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Social psychologists emphasize that addressing racism within families requires sensitivity and understanding. Research shows that open conversations about race can promote empathy and understanding among family members. A study published in the Journal of Social Issues highlights that when families engage in discussions about prejudice, it can lead to a decrease in biased attitudes over time.

By confronting her mother, the Redditor is taking a step toward fostering a more inclusive family environment.

The feelings of being treated as an outsider can be particularly painful, especially when they arise from a parent.

Studies show that experiences of invalidation can significantly impact an individual's self-esteem and sense of belonging.

Addressing these issues openly and respectfully can foster healing and reconciliation within family dynamics.

Research shows that discussing race openly can lead to healthier family dynamics.

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that families who engage in these discussions tend to have stronger bonds and a better understanding of each other's perspectives.

This highlights the importance of addressing uncomfortable topics rather than avoiding them.

OP's mom will learn soon enough

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She can dish it but can't take it

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A revelation given by the OP in the comments

Whenever my parents have made racist comments in the past, I’ve always spoken up. I think this situation was the straw that broke the camel's back. My parents don’t make many comments toward my husband, but when they do, both of us say something.I make sure that if my family says something I think is rude, I address it with them, and then I will reflect with my husband on what he thought. It’s definitely food for thought.I’ve been living with my husband since I graduated college. He’s also in the army, so we stay pretty far away from my family.It’s also worth mentioning that I have had a very hard time setting boundaries with my mom, even after moving away. I love my mom; she’s my mom. But she’s physically, emotionally, and mentally abused me for 23 years now. I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now, and especially with this situation, I’ve been able to set firmer boundaries.She’s not a part of my life anymore. I’m not apologizing to her. And as of right now, I’m not accepting an apology from her. If she apologizes, cool. But I’m not taking her back into my life. She’s going to have to make serious changes, especially once I have kids. I’ll kick her out of my house.

Someone with a low intelligence level

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The Importance of Communication in Addressing Bias

Effective communication is essential in addressing sensitive topics like racism. Research from Stanford University suggests that using non-confrontational language and focusing on shared values can facilitate more productive discussions. This approach helps to de-escalate potential defensiveness and opens the door for meaningful dialogue.

In this case, the Redditor might consider framing the conversation around shared family values of respect and kindness, which can lead to a more constructive exchange.

The Importance of Open Dialogue

Open dialogue is essential in addressing sensitive issues such as racism in family relationships.

According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, "Creating a safe space for discussion allows family members to express their feelings and fosters understanding and healing." Encouraging all family members to share their thoughts without fear of retribution is crucial for fostering a supportive environment.

The Psychological Impact of Racism

Experiencing or witnessing racist behavior can have significant psychological effects, including increased anxiety and depressive symptoms.

Dr. Michelle Lee, a clinical psychologist, notes that these experiences can lead to feelings of powerlessness and frustration.

Understanding the emotional toll of racism is crucial in addressing family dynamics and fostering healthier interactions.

She doesn't want to be a better person

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Two types of black people

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OP's mom has zero excuse

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Practical steps to improve conversations about racism include actively listening to the other person's perspective and validating their feelings before responding. This technique can create a more empathetic atmosphere, allowing both parties to feel heard and understood. Additionally, reflecting on personal experiences related to race can make the discussion more relatable and impactful.

Implementing these strategies can lead to deeper understanding and ultimately help dismantle harmful beliefs within the family unit.

Ultimately, this situation underscores the need for self-reflection and education on racial issues.

Engaging in family therapy can provide a platform for individuals to explore their beliefs and biases in a constructive manner.

By addressing these issues head-on, families can work toward greater unity and understanding.

Developing effective communication strategies is essential when addressing sensitive topics like racism.

Using 'I' statements can help express feelings without inducing defensiveness, facilitating a more productive conversation.

Seeking external support, such as family therapy, can also provide a structured environment for these discussions to occur safely.

Some Redditors say that sometimes the only way to silence someone, like the OP's mom, is to say it louder. It also would have been perfectly acceptable for the OP to walk out with her husband when racist comments were being directed at them.

Most Redditors can't imagine being in public with someone who thinks that is acceptable behavior. The OP was declared not the AH at the end of it all.

Creating a Culture of Acceptance

Encouraging a culture of acceptance and understanding within families can help mitigate the effects of racial prejudice.

Psychologists suggest that engaging in community activities that promote diversity can foster empathy and reduce biases.

Families can benefit from participating in discussions or workshops that address racism and promote inclusivity.

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the challenges faced by individuals in families where prejudiced views are expressed.

From a psychological perspective, addressing these comments is vital for the mental well-being of those affected, as silence can perpetuate feelings of isolation and distress.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Addressing racism within family dynamics is crucial for fostering healthy relationships and understanding.

Research supports the idea that open discussions about race can strengthen familial bonds and create a more accepting environment.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the challenges of confronting deeply ingrained biases within family relationships.

Encouraging open dialogue can facilitate understanding and promote healing within the family.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Addressing racism within family dynamics requires open dialogue and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths.

Research highlights the importance of fostering a safe space for discussion to promote healing and reconciliation.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the complex dynamics of addressing racism within family relationships. Confronting such deeply rooted beliefs can be challenging, but it is essential for fostering a more inclusive and understanding environment. Open dialogue and empathy are key components in facilitating this process.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Addressing racism within families is a vital step toward fostering understanding and empathy. Open conversations about biases can lead to significant changes in attitudes and behaviors. By utilizing effective communication strategies, families can create an environment that promotes respect and inclusivity.