Can I Keep Pets Outside Due to Allergies and Upbringing? AITA?

AITA for refusing to have pets indoors due to my allergies and upbringing, even though my fiancée and her family disagree?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
23 Dec 2025

Can I Keep Pets Outside Due to Allergies and Upbringing? AITA?

In a world where pets are often seen as family members, a recent Reddit thread has sparked a heated discussion about boundaries, allergies, and differing upbringings. The original poster (OP) finds himself at a crossroads in his relationship with his fiancée, as they navigate the complexities of pet ownership in their new home.

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While OP has severe allergies to both cats and dogs—a reality that has shaped his stance against having pets indoors—his fiancée comes from a family that has always welcomed multiple pets inside. With a wedding on the horizon and a young daughter to care for, the couple faces a fundamental disagreement about what it means to have pets in their lives.

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OP's childhood experiences led him to advocate for outdoor pets, proposing a comfortable setup for a dog in their backyard. However, this suggestion has met with resistance from his fiancée and her mother, who view it as unreasonable and contrary to their family’s values.

The tension raises essential questions about compromise and compatibility in a relationship, especially when personal boundaries and family traditions clash. As the Reddit community weighs in, opinions range from supporting OP’s right to maintain a pet-free home to highlighting the emotional needs of pets and the implications of raising a child without them.

How should the couple navigate this contentious issue? Join the discussion and share your thoughts!

Original Post

So here’s the situation. My fiancée (25F) and I (26M) are planning our wedding for next year, and we’ve already got a house and a young daughter together.

The issue is about pets in the house. My fiancée comes from a family where they always had multiple pets inside.

Her mom currently has like four dogs and four cats all living indoors. Meanwhile, I was raised differently.

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We had dogs, but they were outdoor dogs. We took great care of them, but they never came inside.

Now that we have our own place, I’ve told my fiancée I don’t want any pets indoors because I have severe allergies to cats and dogs. My fiancée actually recently got tested and found out she’s allergic to cats and dogs too, she just never realized it because she grew up around them.

Plus, I just wasn’t raised with the idea of animals living inside, and I feel strongly about keeping the house free of pet hair and potential damage. I’ve offered to get an outdoor dog and make sure it has a great setup with a nice doghouse, plenty of space, and all the care it needs.

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But my fiancée and her mom think I’m being unreasonable. Her mom even said that I’d have to eventually accept a dog inside the house and that it’s just how they do things.

They kind of make me feel like I’m the a*****e for sticking to my boundaries, even though it’s largely about my allergies and how I grew up. So, AITA for not wanting pets inside and insisting on keeping any dog outdoors?

Edit: I understand having no pets at all seems like an easy fix, but stating that we can’t have pets at all to my fiancée (and her mom) is equally as bad to them as saying we’d have to have them outside.