Woman Walks Out After Her Date's Bizarre Gold-Digger Test
That was a real low blow.
Dating apps are a gamble because there is no certainty that the person you are talking to is who they say they are. Online catfishing is so prevalent that there is an entire TV show about it.
A Reddit OP was not catfished online but was subjected to a test without her knowledge. Their date started without a hitch, and they were busy getting to know basic facts about each other.
OP asked her date about his career. He replied that he was a tradesman but grew increasingly agitated as OP probed deeper about the specifics of his job.
There was a pause before he told OP he was a carpenter. He grasped at straws when OP asked about the type of carpentry in which he was an expert.
OP's genuine curiosity saved her from dating someone dishonest. Her date tried to change the subject, but OP refused to let it go.
Her date admitted he lied about his job because he wanted to test OP. He said he had a high-paying job and wanted to meet women who were interested in him and not his money.
He was trying to be cautious, so he made up a "low-paying" job to weed out potential gold diggers. The deceit astounded OP, and she told her date he failed her decent person test.
OP recounted the horrible date to a friend. She was unsympathetic and told OP she overreacted because the guy was probably burned before.
deleted_gold.diggerOP didn't buy into that because she worked with plenty of men with high incomes, but they didn't employ the same strategy her date did.
deleted_gold.diggerUnderstanding Gold-Digger Tests in Relationships
This scenario highlights a troubling trend where individuals impose tests on their partners to gauge their intentions. Research from the University of Chicago suggests that such behaviors often stem from insecurity and fear of vulnerability.
When individuals feel threatened by the possibility of being exploited, they may resort to manipulative tactics to protect themselves.
Shows what he knows about skilled tradespeople.
flytingnotfighting, Sea_Ambassador7438
He also thinks so lowly of carpenters that he allows himself to believe no one would possibly want to date them.
Top_Put1541
Furthermore, the concept of attachment styles can provide insight into these behaviors. Studies indicate that individuals with anxious attachment styles are more likely to engage in testing behaviors, as they fear abandonment and seek reassurance of their partner's commitment.
Understanding these underlying attachment dynamics is crucial for addressing conflicts in relationships.
Is there even gold to dig for this guy to be that paranoid about attracting them?
Confident-Baker5286
You would think he would at least do cursory research on the "low-paying profession" he would pretend to have to answer simple questions accurately.
Any_Assumption_2023
Building Trust and Transparency
To counter these behaviors, fostering trust and transparency is essential. Research shows that couples who engage in open communication about their fears and insecurities often build stronger bonds.
Establishing a safe environment for discussions can help partners express their concerns without resorting to testing behaviors.
Why should OP trust a liar? It's not the best way to start a relationship.
grayblue_grrl
OP made the right judgment call when she called the guy's bluff. He has standards; hers are even higher.
Top_Airport6285
In addition, couples therapy can provide valuable tools for addressing insecurity and enhancing relationship satisfaction. Studies indicate that therapy can help partners develop healthier communication patterns and build a foundation of trust.
OP dodged a bullet. Hopefully, the next person that guy dates is as astute.
PrideofCapetown
He was so concerned about dating the wrong people that he forgot we generally don't like liars.
PJTILTON
If OP continued to date this guy, she would always have to be on her toes because that wouldn't be the last test he would create for her to prove her worth. Who hasn't dreamed of a relationship built on lies and deceit?
OP's date needs to work on some issues before even thinking about relationships. His money may attract the wrong people, but the right ones will look for more meaningful qualities in order to stay with him.
OP deserves better than a classist guy. She could give her friend that guy's number since she was so concerned about him.
altarwisebyowllight
OP's date should look for someone who wouldn't be dazzled by his high income instead of lying to his dates to test them.
Big_Zucchini_9800
Psychological Analysis
This pattern of testing reflects deeper insecurities in the relationship and a need for reassurance. Understanding these motivations can help couples cultivate trust and transparency, ultimately strengthening their bond.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
This situation underscores the detrimental effects of insecurity on relationship dynamics.
Research shows that addressing these underlying fears through communication and therapy can lead to healthier relationships.
