Choosing a Vacation Solo: Am I the Jerk for Planning a Trip Without My Friends?

A 28-year-old woman didn’t just pick a vacation, she picked a whole different vibe than her friend group. While everyone else was vibing toward hiking, camping, and extreme sports, she was dreaming about beach time, cultural stops, and eating her way through a coastal town.

Here’s where it gets messy: this group is close-knit and they usually hash out destinations together. This year, her ideas kept getting brushed off, so she quietly researched and booked a plan that matched her style, then told them after the fact. Cue shocked faces, hurt feelings, and accusations of selfishness, with her friends insisting “group trips” require compromise and shared decision-making.

Now she has to figure out if she planned the perfect getaway or accidentally stepped on every rule of the group.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and part of a close-knit friend group that loves planning annual vacations together. We usually bounce off ideas and decide as a group.

This year, we started discussing our vacation plans, and everyone suggested various destinations. Here's the catch - none of their ideas resonated with me.

They were all leaning towards adventurous destinations, hiking, camping, and extreme sports, which honestly isn't my thing. I prefer relaxing beach getaways, exploring cultural sites, and trying local cuisine.

I tried to steer the conversation towards something more aligned with my interests, but they seemed set on their initial choices. Feeling left out and unable to compromise on such differing preferences, I decided to research and plan a trip to a beautiful coastal town that ticks all my boxes, without consulting them.

When I excitedly shared my chosen destination with the group, they were shocked and a bit hurt that I went ahead with my plans without their input. They accused me of being selfish and disregarding their ideas entirely.

They insisted that group trips are about compromise and that I shouldn't have excluded them from the decision-making process. While I understand their perspective, I also feel like my desires should be considered, especially since we all have different tastes.

I didn't want to spend my vacation feeling out of place and not enjoying the activities. I value our friendship, but I also crave a vacation that aligns with my interests.

So AITA?

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It’s a lot like the AITA post where someone refused friends’ vacation plans and stood their ground.

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The moment she shared her coastal-town choice, her friends went from “let’s plan” to “wait, you didn’t ask us?” real fast.

While her group was digging into adventurous ideas, she kept trying to steer the conversation back to beaches, culture, and local food.

After they refused to budge, she decided to do her own research and plan without consulting them, hoping it would save her from feeling stuck doing stuff she hates.

Now the group is framing it as disrespect, and she’s stuck wondering if wanting a vacation she’ll actually enjoy makes her the jerk.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

She might not be the villain for wanting a beach trip, but she definitely handled the “group decision” part like a solo mission.

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