Conflicted Friend Seeks Advice on Mutual Crush Dilemma
AITA for advising my friend to confess feelings to our mutual friend, despite having feelings too? Conflicted OP navigates a love triangle with honesty and regret.
Some people don’t realize they’re playing matchmaker until it blows up in their face. In this Reddit post, a 28-year-old guy is stuck in the kind of emotional knot that only happens when feelings, friendships, and timing all collide.
He’s got a crush on his mutual friend, 26F, but he also finds out their other friend, 27F, likes the same woman. When 27F asks him for advice about confessing, he tells her to go for it. It felt “honest,” but now he’s watching the same mutual friend go on dates with 27F, and he can’t stop feeling regret and jealousy.
Now he’s asking if he messed up by encouraging someone else to take a shot at the person he wants.
Original Post
So I'm (28M) in a bit of a mess with my feelings towards my mutual friend (26F) and another friend (27F). For context, we've all been friends for years, and I've recently developed feelings for the mutual friend, but I found out that our other friend also has a crush on her.
I've been struggling with whether to confess my feelings or not, but when our other friend asked for advice on confessing, I encouraged her to go for it. Part of me thought it was the right thing to do because honesty is important in friendships, but deep down, I also felt conflicted about potentially losing my shot with the mutual friend.
Fast forward to now, our mutual friend has expressed interest in our other friend, and they've been going out on dates. I can't help but feel a mix of regret for not confessing my own feelings and jealousy towards our other friend for taking that chance with the person I like.
I know I might have influenced the outcome by encouraging our other friend to confess, but I also didn't want to sabotage her chance at happiness. So AITA for advising her to confess, even though I have feelings for our mutual friend too?
I honestly don't know if I did the right thing here.
Comment from u/banana_lover88
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OP was trying to do the right thing when 27F asked for confessing advice, but it also quietly lit a jealous fuse in him.
It’s the same tough call as the OP in Should I Encourage My Friend to Confess Feelings to Crush?, weighing her own crush against her friend’s confession.
As soon as 26F started expressing interest in 27F and the two went on dates, OP’s “I just wanted her to be happy” logic started cracking.
The real sting is that OP believes he helped set the whole outcome in motion, even though he never meant to sabotage his own chance.
Now OP is stuck watching the mutual friend he likes choose the person he encouraged, and wondering if honesty turned into self-inflicted damage.
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.
He didn’t just lose a shot, he practically handed it to the guy he already thought he was competing with.
Before you pick a side, read how the OP navigated dating advice after learning her crush likes her too.
