Mom Pressures Adult Child To Risk Their Credit By Co-signing A Loan Despite Burning Them In Their Last Deal
Mom ruined their credit once. Now she’s begging them to co-sign another loan…what would you do?
This story begins with a young person (OP) preparing for a huge season in their life. They’ve been working hard, building their credit, and getting ready to start university next fall.
It’s one of those moments where every small financial decision matters, because one wrong move can follow you for years. While they’re focused on moving forward, their mom has very different plans.
OP recently secured a new rental home together, which should have brought some peace. Instead, the pressure shifted almost immediately.
First, their mom pushed to use their credit to buy a house. When that didn’t work, she turned to another idea. She insisted on taking out a bank loan and wanted them to co-sign for it.
OP’s mom works part-time and keeps promising she’ll look for more hours soon, but those promises weren’t enough to convince OP, as they remembered how the last deal with their mom turned out.
Apparently, some years back, their mom convinced them to lease a mattress in their name. She couldn’t keep up with the payments, and the debt landed on their credit report.
Fortunately, they were able to get it removed only because the mattress arrived damaged. That mistake still sits in their memory, and it shapes how they see this new request.
Despite refusing to their mom’s current request, the pressure kept mounting. Both of them have been planning a Christmas trip to Texas for months, and now their mom claims she can’t go unless the loan is co-signed.
What should be a simple holiday plan now feels like another piece of emotional blackmail.
Check out the screenshots below to digest the full story.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comOP’s mom has been pressuring them to co-sign on a loan for her
Reddit.comOP’s mom has made it clear that if they don’t co-sign on the loan, she won’t join them for Christmas vacation in Texas
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Financial Insights
Financial expert David Bach emphasizes the importance of understanding the risks associated with co-signing loans, especially for young adults.
He notes that this decision can severely impact one’s credit score and financial future. While it might seem like a helpful gesture, it can lead to unintended consequences, particularly if the borrower defaults.
Bach advises individuals in these situations to consider alternatives, such as exploring personal loans without co-signers or seeking loans specifically designed for students.
Financial planners like Manisha Thakor encourage individuals to prioritize their financial independence, especially during transitional phases.
She asserts that understanding one’s credit score and financial obligations can empower young adults to make informed decisions. For those faced with co-signing requests, Thakor advises assessing personal financial stability first, ensuring that any commitments won’t jeopardize future goals.
Utilizing budgeting tools and consulting with financial advisors can help navigate these complex decisions more effectively.
We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“She is incredibly full of crap. This is the whole point of co-signing, as you seem to be aware.”
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“NTA. Op you will 100% be liable for your mom's debt. This is bordering on financial abuse.”
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Therapists often point out that familial financial pressures can deeply affect mental health. A relationship expert explains that such dynamics can lead to feelings of resentment and obligation.
Over time, these feelings may create rifts within families and hinder the development of healthy boundaries. Open communication is key; families can benefit from discussing financial decisions openly to mitigate stress and build trust.
Establishing clear boundaries can help maintain healthy relationships while ensuring that financial decisions are made with mutual respect.
“When you co-sign, you are accepting responsibility if the other party doesn’t pay.”
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“Do not do it-you have a preview of how it will play out with the great mattress debacle of three years ago.”
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“Never trust someone twice your age who doesn't have an ounce of financial responsibility.”
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Psychological Perspectives
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, suggests that the pressure to co-sign can sometimes reflect deeper family dynamics and unresolved issues.
She highlights that this behavior may stem from a parent’s desire to control or influence their child’s choices, which can be detrimental. It’s crucial for individuals to recognize these patterns and seek autonomy in their financial decisions.
Durvasula recommends therapy as a means to unpack these family issues, ultimately leading to healthier interactions and decision-making in future financial situations.
“NTA she knows this is not how co signing works, if she cannot pay you are responsible.”
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It’s hard to say no to someone you love, especially a parent, but past patterns and future goals sometimes pull in different directions.
The mom may feel desperate, and the pressure she’s placing might come from fear or frustration. At the same time, protecting your credit and stability isn’t selfish, especially when you’re trying to build a better future.
What would you have done if you were in OP’s shoes? Share your thoughts in the comment section.
Expert Opinion
This situation highlights the complex dynamics of family relationships, particularly when it comes to financial matters. The mother's relentless pressure could stem from desperation or a desire for control, reflecting her own financial insecurities. Meanwhile, the adult child's hesitation is rooted in past experiences and the need for autonomy, showcasing a classic tug-of-war between familial obligation and personal financial responsibility.In navigating the complexities of family dynamics and financial responsibilities, it's crucial to prioritize open communication and personal financial education. Expert insights indicate that understanding the long-term implications of co-signing loans can safeguard one's financial future.
By seeking guidance from financial experts and therapists, individuals can create healthier boundaries, ensuring that familial support doesn't come at the cost of personal financial stability. Ultimately, fostering autonomy while maintaining healthy family relationships is key to thriving in adulthood.
