30 Parents Give Compelling Arguments That Children Might Be Evil By Sharing The Creepiest Things Their Kids Have Said
If kids were proven to be evil, that would probably explain a lot.
UK-based radio producer Dan Schreiber caused quite a ruckus recently when he turned to Twitter to share something his 3-year-old child said to him at bedtime... it was creepy. As things tend to go, conversation-wise at least, on Twitter, thousands of people responded with their own instances of creepy children.
What makes children so creepy, anyway? Apparently, because children are still developing physically and psychologically, they come off as entirely too unpredictable, and we don't like not being able to predict things.
Interestingly, though, more often than not, it's what kids say that's insanely creepy, especially when it's our own kids. Language development is really interesting, but we certainly couldn't prepare for some of the 'off-the-wall' things kids say, especially when it's nightmare fuel.
Schreiber is an entertainer, but he may not have realized what horror he was releasing into the Twitter-verse and thus the extended space known as the Internet... but unleashed horror is precisely what happened. Kids are creepy, after all.
How many people will read these tweets of kids being seriously creepy and decide that kids are evil? If it's a lot... most of them will probably also be parents (because nobody knows how creepy kids can be better than the humans tasked with raising them!)
The tweet that started it all:
Schreiberland1. Nope, don't like that.
mitch_r23
tenor
2. THEM WHO
MarkVent
3. That's nice, dear.
yoffy2909
Pinterest
4. That's at least a little wholesome
InTheButtonJar
5. Well, that sucks.
KWindness
The most common first syllable pronounced by babies is "ma," followed by "pa/ba/ta/da" soon after. For this reason, most languages have a version of "mother" that also begins with the "m" sound.
Famous linguist Larry Trask explained that these earliest articulations (like ma and ba) are probably just playful for the infant "but are interpreted by parents as attempts by the baby to address them." In most cases (but not all), mothers are the early and main caregivers of infants; the first syllable infants almost universally utter was adopted by mothers as an attempt for babies to address them.
Despite what you may see from your own infants (and what you want to see), research suggests that infants begin to understand and respond to words closer to 12 months than anything else. Your 4-month-old infant is adorable, but they're just babbling at you.
6. Again, NOPE. Don't like that. Where can we return children like this?
awpchristie
7. Precious
KLWalpole14
8. That's as beautiful as it is eerie.
NinjaHels
tenor
9. As if it isn't bad enough when the parents get creeped out, now kids are creeping out innocent taxi drivers.
treacadelic
10. What a joy it must be to have two children be reincarnations! Not.
MariyaTalib
11. Sure, sure. That makes sense.
ThePiePatch
Research does show that memory development begins in the womb, and toddlers and children are capable of forming memories and holding them for "increasingly longer periods of time." However, memories formed in early childhood fade by adulthood.
It wasn't until the 1980s that we thought toddlers retained memories at all. However, research has transformed a lot since experiments were conducted on infants and object permanence.
Slate reported: According to Patricia Bauer, a professor of psychology at Emory who studies early memory, the general consensus was that a 3-year-old child’s memory was a jumble of disorganized information, like your email inbox without any sorting function: “You can’t sort them by name, you can’t sort them by date; it’s just all your email messages.”
12. That's horrifying
lizkybusiness
13. That does sound like something out of a horror movie.
JanetMcKennaLow
14. Good for him.
poppletones
15. Isn't that nice? No.
tracy_coldwell
16. Have I mentioned "I don't like that?" Because I don't.
Finneygook
giphy
17. Well, there's that.
BevPalfreyman
18. WTF indeed
Davidoss
19. In Russia? Wow.
StephenMcGann
gfycat
20. That's traumatic
Bluemoonbud
21. Eerily wholesome
Redheadirish33
22. Oh. Nice...
StarbuckToby
23. "Very Detailed" is what gets me
Callymac
24. That's horrible imagery
ClaireElliott2
giphy
25. Poor Mum
MorganVAB
26. Long Lost Farm
tikasmom
27. Oh, wow.
max_ruthless
28. No thank you, that's creepy.
https://media2.giphy.com/media/l0HlCwr75HFyXb7JC/giphy.gif
colinjbrowne
29. Creepy runs in their family
Leeds_guy
30. Nobody thought to mention this any sooner?
Oi_you_blondie
There's no getting around it; even under the most sentimental of circumstances, the relationship between children and the supernatural is far too creepy not to walk away with a few shivers down your spine. Thank goodness most of the time these sorts of eerie shenanigans don't last, and kids outgrow their connection to the beyond.
