Mom Refuses To Accompany Her Daughter To The Funeral Of Her Ex-Husband
"Her dad is dead, and she needs her mother. Step up."
One family argument over a funeral turned into a much bigger fight than anyone expected. A mother said no when her daughter asked her to come along for support, and that refusal quickly became the center of the conflict.
The situation is tangled by grief, old resentment, and a painful history with the ex-husband’s side of the family. The daughter wants comfort at a difficult moment, while the mother says she is still dealing with her own emotions and does not want to face people who blamed her for the divorce.
Now the question is whether standing her ground protects her peace, or costs her the relationship with her daughter.
This is how OP's story went
ThrowawayPaige67OP's daughter expressed how important it would be for her to be at the funeral and support her. OP didn't want to attend, as the situation is painful for her, and she didn't want to face her in-laws.
ThrowawayPaige67The request was simple, but the emotions behind it were not.
OP tried to offer her daughter other options to make it easier for her to go to the funeral.
ThrowawayPaige67
The argument escalated, and her daughter called her selfish. When the daughter continued, OP cut her off and sent her to her room.
ThrowawayPaige67
That is where the conversation really fell apart.
OP's boyfriend suggested that she should go with her daughter to eliminate the possibility of resentment. This made OP think.
ThrowawayPaige67
This is OP's ETA regarding the reason for their separation and to address some assumptions from the Redditors.
ThrowawayPaige67
The daughter accused her of the divorce, and the in-laws blamed her for abandoning their son.
ThrowawayPaige67
People know that moms will go above and beyond for their kids.
pinguthegreek
Reddit did not hold back on the family tension.
If OP doesn’t take control of resolving the situation, her daughter will continue to resent her.
Animalime
This gets real similar to the daughter arguing with her mom over skipping her mom’s birthday bash, despite their rocky relationship.
It feels like OP prioritizes her own well-being over her daughter’s needs, according to the ETA.
pinguthegreek
There are Redditors wondering for more context about...
tsh87
her relationship with her ex-husband's side of the family.
tsh87
Would there be more conflict or hurt for the relatives if they see OP there?
thederpfacemajor
There seem to be many parents in the subreddit who are unaware of how negatively they affect their kids.
Whiteroses7252012
OP can weigh the choices that truly matter to her.
Whiteroses7252012
Redditors are questioning the shallowness of OP's decisions.
CoDe4019
This person shared their own story that is similar to OP's and her daughter's.
youngpretenders
Another commenter brought the focus back to the daughter’s grief.
If OP needs to realize what the most important thing in the situation is...
Princess-She-ra
Then it's clear that it's her grieving daughter.
Princess-She-ra
Even if OP's presence wouldn't be welcome at the funeral, it would be easier to go with her daughter than to be resented by her.
Shadyside77
As a mom, the responsibility and compassion to step up rely on her.
Comfortable_Stop_717
The boyfriend seems to understand the daughter's perspective more than OP does.
Dom11halfelf
It's a tough pill to swallow, but it's the truth.
setsumaeu
This Redditor is asking for more information before passing judgment.
pnutbuttercups56
Not everyone in the thread was ready to pick a side right away.
The comment section is filled with feedback that OP might reflect on, and it's better to know more.
pnutbuttercups56
Regardless of how the in-laws view OP, as a mother, she should be able to stand by her daughter in times like this. Her daughter's request isn't a light one, and she wouldn't beg if she weren't desperate.
It might be tough for OP to agree to accompany her daughter, but if she continues to refuse, there may be more resentment. Their bond could be severely damaged as a result.
Wait until you see what happened when someone skipped their niece’s graduation, and family drama exploded. Should I Skip My Nieces Graduation? Family Drama Unfolds.
