Mom Refuses To Accompany Her Daughter To The Funeral Of Her Ex-Husband

Parents can’t catch a break. In the simplest sense, parents take breaks or vacations to de-stress, but there is no stopping their responsibilities to their kids.

Once you become a parent, there’s an ongoing journey of learning how to navigate a rollercoaster of emotions so you can handle your kids better. Because even if you love yourself, they will always come first.

In a subreddit post by a Redditor mom, she asked others if she was wrong to refuse her daughter’s request. This caused a major argument between them, which hurt both parties deeply.

OP’s ex-husband recently died, and her in-laws would be holding a funeral. Her daughter begged OP to go with her because she needs her presence for comfort and support. 

OP said no due to her hesitance to see her in-laws, who blamed her for the divorce, and her own processing of grief. She tried to reason that she would have people to support her there and would ensure that a relative would get her to and from the funeral. 

The refusal didn’t sit well with the daughter, even after begging her to reconsider, which led to the argument. OP cut off the conversation, but the dilemma remained.

This is how OP's story went

ThrowawayPaige67

OP's daughter expressed how important it would be for her to be at the funeral and support her. OP didn't want to attend, as the situation is painful for her, and she didn't want to face her in-laws.

ThrowawayPaige67

OP tried to offer her daughter other options to make it easier for her to go to the funeral.

ThrowawayPaige67

The argument escalated, and her daughter called her selfish. When the daughter continued, OP cut her off and sent her to her room.

ThrowawayPaige67

OP's boyfriend suggested that she should go with her daughter to eliminate the possibility of resentment. This made OP think.

ThrowawayPaige67

This is OP's ETA regarding the reason for their separation and to address some assumptions from the Redditors.

ThrowawayPaige67

The daughter accused her of the divorce, and the in-laws blamed her for abandoning their son.

ThrowawayPaige67

People know that moms will go above and beyond for their kids.

pinguthegreek

If OP doesn’t take control of resolving the situation, her daughter will continue to resent her.

Animalime

It feels like OP prioritizes her own well-being over her daughter’s needs, according to the ETA.

pinguthegreek

There are Redditors wondering for more context about...

tsh87

her relationship with her ex-husband's side of the family.

tsh87

Would there be more conflict or hurt for the relatives if they see OP there?

thederpfacemajor

There seem to be many parents in the subreddit who are unaware of how negatively they affect their kids.

Whiteroses7252012

OP can weigh the choices that truly matter to her.

Whiteroses7252012

Redditors are questioning the shallowness of OP's decisions.

CoDe4019

This person shared their own story that is similar to OP's and her daughter's.

youngpretenders

If OP needs to realize what the most important thing in the situation is...

Princess-She-ra

Then it's clear that it's her grieving daughter.

Princess-She-ra

Even if OP's presence wouldn't be welcome at the funeral, it would be easier to go with her daughter than to be resented by her.

Shadyside77

As a mom, the responsibility and compassion to step up rely on her.

Comfortable_Stop_717

The boyfriend seems to understand the daughter's perspective more than OP does.

Dom11halfelf

It's a tough pill to swallow, but it's the truth.

setsumaeu

This Redditor is asking for more information before passing judgment.

pnutbuttercups56

The comment section is filled with feedback that OP might reflect on, and it's better to know more.

pnutbuttercups56

Regardless of how the in-laws view OP, as a mother, she should be able to stand by her daughter in times like this. Her daughter's request isn't a light one, and she wouldn't beg if she weren't desperate.

It might be tough for OP to agree to accompany her daughter, but if she continues to refuse, there may be more resentment. Their bond could be severely damaged as a result.