15 Patients Spoke About The Moments When Doctors Said The Most Hurtful Things To Them

Doctors are there to help us, physically and mentally, and we all think that this profession attracts only people who have the desire and need to alleviate other people’s pain and make them healthy again.

But some people are just not cut out for the job. Insensitivity usually comes with incompetency - don’t believe what you see on Dr.House. A doctor has to care to be a good doctor. Reddit users were asked about the most insensitive thing they have ever heard from a doctor, and we have selected 15 of the most interesting ones. Check them out, maybe you will recognize your doctor there...

1. Unbelievable.

“When I was about 4 I got diagnosed with child asthma, doctor told my mum it was her fault because she decided to have a child despite having asthma herself…”

The Impact of Insensitive Remarks

Negative comments from healthcare providers can have significant psychological ramifications. Research published in the Journal of Health Psychology indicates that such remarks can exacerbate feelings of shame and inadequacy in patients, leading to decreased trust in medical professionals.

This lack of trust may result in avoidance of essential medical care, contributing to poorer health outcomes over time. A clinical psychologist suggests fostering empathetic communication can help mitigate these effects, emphasizing the need for training in emotional intelligence for healthcare providers.

2. Lonely....

“He asked me if I felt lonely

I said I don’t think of myself as lonely

He wrote down Lonely and underlined it.

Edit: Thank you kind strangers for gold and silver I’ll show it to my frien… oh.”

3. It’s how you use it that matters…

“I went to get a lump on my groin checked out, and had to remove my underpants. The doctor started a whole speech about “size isn’t everything”, which isn’t what I went there for.”

4. Yes, that is the cause.

“Was having digestive issues I eventually learned were a result of my undiagnosed cancer.

Doctor suggested I should wipe better.”

5. Move it! Now!

“I woke up in the hospital and heard a nurse running out saying “he’s awake”. The Dr. comes into the room and tells me to move my toes. I ask them where I am and what’s going on, he just gets more insistent that I “move your toes”. I asked again where I was and that was going on , he almost yells at me “ move your toes”. I said I am moving my toes, and immediately he says “you will never walk again.” That’s how I found out I was a paraplegic at 21 years old. I had been in a single car wreck and was thrown 70-80 feet from the car and my vertebrae was dislocated and laying next to another one. I don’t remember the car wreck but that exchange with the Dr. Is burned into my brain, and that was 31 years ago.

Edit 1: Damn this blew up. Thank you to you all for your comments. I had a seatbelt on but went off a small hill next to the interstate after clipping an end of the guardrail. Flipped the car down the hill and seat and seatbelt gave way under the pressure and I went out the driver door window. My back collapsed around the door sill and dislocated one vertebra next to the one below it. I’m a big guy 6’4” and 235 at the time and the force was too much for the seat structure. I found out all these details over the next few weeks while I was in rehab.

Edit 2: Gold and silver thank you. Didn’t think this story would touch as many as it has.”

6. Great hips.

“My female doctor, now retired, once told me I had great birthing hips. I’m a male.”

7. Incredibly insensitive and incompetent.

“In the ER, about six months pregnant, with heavy spotting and no noticeable fetal movement. Idiot doctor is unable to find the baby’s heartbeat. Just looks up at me and says, “Yep, probably dead in there.” He couldn’t possibly have said it in a more casual, offhand manner.

Note: I delivered my son three months later, perfectly healthy.”

8. No, i am just overreacting....

“I’m sure it’s not that bad”

The intake nurse at the in patient psychiatric unit I was checking myself into after a suicide attempt following a sexual assault.

ETA: Thank you to folks who commented or PM’d me.

I am okay. I did a short stay at in patient and everyone else who worked there (and, honestly and maybe more significantly, everyone else who was also staying there) was kind, thoughtful, helpful, and seemed to be much better at their jobs.

This was about two years ago now. Things are better but not perfect. I think that sometimes, that is hard especially for people who are in my life: they seem to be waiting for a version of me that is “perfectly fine” and I am not sure she exists any more.

But it is better than it was, most of the time. Sometimes it is harder, or at least similar, but I am still here and sometimes, being “still here” is okay being the only success of the day. I have my work, I have my son, I have my circle of people who really stuck by me, and that’s a lot to hold onto.”

9. Nope, just fat.

“I had gained a lot of weight around my mid section a few years back, and my periods stopped. I was scared, young, and thought I was pregnant, but the tests came back negative. I went to a doctor to have myself checked out and she did some basic tests before telling me.

“There is nothing wrong with you, you’re just fat”​

I already had some body confidence issues, but hearing it from my doctor, when I was trying really hard to get in shape, really hurt, I worked hard to lose weight, but my belly wouldn’t shrink, I was starting to feel really sick, and went back to the doctor, who again told me it was that I was just fat. I was crushed.

A year later I went to the hospital for something unrelated, and it was discovered that I had a giant Ovarian Cyst, about the size of a newborn. It was throwing off my hormones, making me gain weight, among many other issues. I have since lost weight and am feeling super confident now, but that doctor really messed me up for a long time.”

10. Acne...

“I went to get an earache checked and the first thing the doctor said was “Yeah so I’m gonna put you on some medicine for the ear but we’ve gotta do something about your face, your acne is absolutely terrible.”

Thanks doc.”

11. You have an old stomach.

“When I was in middle school until 10th grade, I would get violent nausea anytime I got hungry. It felt like my stomach was on fire, and I would miss a lot of school from feeling like shit (although I was a good student and wasn’t falling behind in any way). After a lot of fighting with my mother who accused me of exaggerating, she agrees to take me to a gastroenterologist to be checked out. Before agreeing to do an endoscopy, the gastro accused me of exaggerating because I was a teen girl and that’s just apparently what young women do, he suggested I was just making up these symptoms for attention, and then asked me point blank if I was lying about my pain level to skip school and suggested I had a mental health issue I was trying to cover for. I had fucking GERD and severe acid reflux, as confirmed by the endoscopy he reluctantly agreed to perform on me. Instead of letting it go, the gastro made a point of angrily telling me that I had “the stomach of a 80 year old man” and must have been intentionally eating in a way to fuck up my stomach.

I have a family history of stomach problems and GERD. I don’t understand why it was so implausible that my brother could have acid reflux at a young age, but I must be a hysterical liar when I claim to have the same symptoms in my teens.”

12. Just acting up... yeah.

“Wife took our 2 y/o daughter to the doctor because she was sick and her behaviour seemed to be changing. She couldn’t eat or drink. Our local doctor said that’s how kids are sometimes and just monitor her behaviour. As we were pretty sure there was something definitely wrong we kept seeing different doctors. Last one said we were acting hysterically and our behaviour were a problem. 5 days later our daughter seemed to had a seizure so we went to the hospital. Our daughter had a brain tumor and the doctor at the hospital said this should have been recognized sooner. He was astounded that we’ve seen 5 doctors all blaming us as parents to “just be acting up over nothing”.”

13. Don’t be a sissy.

“Different kind of doctor, but a dentist (after poking that sharp piece of steel into my not dead yet gums)

“Oh come, on, it doesn’t hurt that much!” after I jumped and said “ow!”

I looked at him, got up and walked out.

I now have a very nice dentist”

14. Case closed.

“It’s all between your ears” after missing at least one, but probably two crippling vitamin deficiencies by not ordering the right test. It took me two and a half years of thinking I was lazy and pathetic before I went to another doctor and got diagnosed.”

15. Great response.

“I just don’t know how you could be in so much pain being so young, I’m not going to be able to write you a prescription.” My response was, “You’re a dipshit; I came in because I was hurt at work, doing heavy construction.” I never asked for a prescription in the first place, I had assumed I was getting an xray to see if I had broken anything.”

Impact of Hurtful Medical Communication

Dr. Sarah Johnson, a health psychologist, emphasizes the profound impact that hurtful remarks from healthcare professionals can have on patients.

Research in the Journal of Health Psychology indicates that negative interactions can lead to significant emotional distress and even deter individuals from seeking necessary medical care.

Patients often internalize these comments, which can exacerbate feelings of shame and inadequacy.

The concept of stigma plays a critical role in how patients perceive themselves after receiving hurtful comments from doctors.

Studies show that stigma can lead to decreased self-esteem and increased anxiety, particularly in vulnerable populations.

Therefore, healthcare providers must be mindful of their language and the potential ramifications of their words.

The Role of Empathy in Healthcare

Empathy is a fundamental component of effective healthcare communication.

Research suggests that when healthcare professionals take the time to listen and validate their patients' feelings, it can drastically improve patient outcomes.

Empathetic communication fosters trust, which is key in the patient-provider relationship.

Furthermore, the practice of motivational interviewing has been shown to enhance patient engagement and reduce resistance to treatment.

This technique encourages healthcare providers to ask open-ended questions and reflect on patients' responses, allowing for a more collaborative approach.

Studies highlight that this method can decrease feelings of stigmatization and increase adherence to treatment plans.

Psychological Analysis

Hurtful comments from medical professionals can profoundly affect a patient's self-image and willingness to engage in healthcare.

Our in-house psychologist notes that language matters; fostering a more compassionate dialogue can significantly improve patient experiences and outcomes.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, the words used by healthcare providers can have lasting impacts on their patients' mental health and willingness to seek care.

Research supports that fostering empathy and understanding in medical communication is essential for promoting positive health outcomes.

The Impact of Hurtful Words

Dr. Linda M. Bowers, a clinical psychologist, explains that hurtful comments from doctors can have profound psychological effects on patients.

Studies indicate that language used in medical settings can contribute to feelings of shame and inadequacy, particularly when it comes to weight and health issues.

This aligns with the concept of stigma, which can exacerbate mental health issues and discourage individuals from seeking care.

Moreover, the emotional impact of such statements can lead to a breakdown in the patient-provider relationship.

Research published in the Journal of Health Psychology highlights that a supportive and empathetic approach is crucial for effective treatment.

When patients feel judged, it can hinder their willingness to communicate openly about their health concerns.

Exploring Weight Stigma in Healthcare

Weight stigma is a pervasive issue in healthcare that can lead to detrimental health outcomes.

According to Dr. Rebecca Puhl, a leading researcher in weight stigma, patients who experience discrimination in healthcare settings are less likely to engage in preventive care.

This can create a vicious cycle where negative experiences lead to avoidance of medical care, ultimately affecting overall health.

To combat this, healthcare providers must be trained to communicate effectively and compassionately.

Implementing training programs that focus on empathy and sensitivity can improve interactions between patients and providers.

Research shows that when clinicians adopt a non-judgmental approach, patient satisfaction and compliance significantly increase.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, the psychological implications of hurtful comments in healthcare settings are well-documented.

It's crucial for healthcare providers to understand the impact of their words and strive for compassionate communication.

Creating a supportive environment can lead to better health outcomes and foster trust between patients and providers.

The phenomenon of 'medical gaslighting' is increasingly recognized in the literature, where patients feel dismissed or invalidated by their doctors. A study by Dr. Lillian Glass highlights that this behavior can stem from a lack of awareness of the patient's lived experience.

To combat this, mental health professionals recommend active listening and validation techniques. Training healthcare providers in these skills can improve the patient experience, fostering a supportive environment that encourages open dialogue, ultimately leading to better health outcomes.

Understanding the Deeper Patterns

It's essential for healthcare professionals to recognize the psychological impact their words can have on patients. Research shows that fostering a compassionate dialogue can greatly enhance the patient-doctor relationship.

By adopting evidence-based communication techniques, medical professionals can create a supportive environment that encourages healing and trust. Incorporating empathy into medical training is not just beneficial; it's imperative for improving overall patient satisfaction and health outcomes. The goal should be to ensure that every patient feels heard, valued, and understood.