Lady Backs Out Of Double Date Before It Even Starts As One Party Decided To Be Extremely Late, Wonders If She's Missing Out

"They want me to apologize, but I steadfastly refused."

Whether you like it or not, punctuality counts, and it really does matter a lot. It lets people know if they can rely on and trust you.

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It reveals to others your perception of them and your own self. An apparently insignificant issue that can have a significant and long-lasting detrimental impact on your career is being consistently late.

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There are numerous unforeseen repercussions to this behavior. On the other hand, being consistently on time or even early and understanding the value of timeliness is a very easy way to stand out from the crowd.

Making a positive first impression enables you to make progress toward your objectives more quickly by establishing your credibility. The OP is someone who understands the value of time.

He knows that being on time implies several things, including discipline, order, respect, accountability, and a good outlook. For months, OP's buddy and his girlfriend have been trying to set him up with her cousin.

A couple of weeks ago, the OP agreed, and a double date was planned. They picked the restaurant, and the OP made a reservation.

Everyone was involved in the planning, so everyone knew the schedule. The OP and his buddy arrived at her place an hour early, but they were still not ready.

They waited, and it got to the reservation hour. The OP was beyond angry and left, but guess who was angry at him for leaving? 

The OP writes

The OP writesReddit/EntertainmentFew2766
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The plan was that OP and his buddy were going to pick up his girlfriend and her cousin

The plan was that OP and his buddy were going to pick up his girlfriend and her cousinReddit/EntertainmentFew2766
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The Psychology of Expectations

Expectations play a significant role in shaping our experiences and reactions in social situations. Research by Dr. Albert Bandura on self-efficacy highlights that our beliefs about our abilities influence our behavior and emotional responses. In this case, the lady's decision to back out of the double date due to lateness reflects her expectations about punctuality and respect for time.

Understanding the psychology behind expectations can help individuals navigate social dynamics more effectively, as it often dictates how we feel and respond to situations.

OP's buddy and his girlfriend texted and called to tell him what a jerk he was for leaving their planned double date

OP's buddy and his girlfriend texted and called to tell him what a jerk he was for leaving their planned double dateReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through belowReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

  1. I left a double date before it started because they were taking so long, and we missed our reservation. 2. I could have waited, and we could have gone somewhere else.

Does the OP understand why she's still available after all this time?

Does the OP understand why she's still available after all this time?Reddit/EntertainmentFew2766

This Redditor writes what the OP should counter with

This Redditor writes what the OP should counter withReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

Additionally, Dr. Brené Brown's work on vulnerability emphasizes that managing expectations is crucial for healthy relationships. When expectations are not met, it can lead to disappointment and conflict. The lady’s reluctance to apologize may stem from a desire to maintain her boundaries and uphold her standards regarding punctuality.

Engaging in open discussions about expectations can help clarify misunderstandings and promote healthier interactions.

An hour late is totally unacceptable in pretty much any situation

An hour late is totally unacceptable in pretty much any situationReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

They could have gone somewhere else because they were still free to do so

They could have gone somewhere else because they were still free to do soReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

The Role of Assertiveness in Relationships

Assertiveness is vital in navigating social situations and maintaining personal boundaries. According to Dr. Manuel J. Smith, assertive communication allows individuals to express their feelings and needs without infringing upon others. In this case, the lady’s refusal to apologize reflects her assertiveness in upholding her standards and boundaries.

Practicing assertiveness can enhance relationships by fostering respect and understanding among individuals.

This Redditor won't be friends with such people

This Redditor won't be friends with such peopleReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

Telling the friends that they were lucky he waited so long

Telling the friends that they were lucky he waited so longReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

Furthermore, understanding the importance of flexibility in social interactions can lead to better outcomes. Dr. Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset suggests that embracing flexibility can help individuals navigate challenges more effectively. Being open to other perspectives can lead to more constructive discussions and resolutions.

Encouraging a mindset of adaptability can enhance social interactions and promote healthier relationships.

According to this Redditor, she doesn't respect you if she doesn't respect your time

According to this Redditor, she doesn't respect you if she doesn't respect your timeReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

From a Redditor who is bad at timekeeping

From a Redditor who is bad at timekeepingReddit/EntertainmentFew2766

Being on time is essentially the essence of being courteous, and that's why it's so crucial to arrive on time. Being punctual matters a lot since it reveals to others your perception of both yourself and them.

Even though it might not seem like much, being late can eventually negatively impact your job or, in this case, your date. Redditors understood why the OP took that action, and he was declared not the AH.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the importance of managing expectations in social interactions. It's essential for individuals to communicate openly about their boundaries and standards. By fostering assertiveness and flexibility, individuals can navigate social situations more effectively and maintain healthier relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating social expectations requires a balance of assertiveness, flexibility, and open communication. Research supports that understanding the psychology behind expectations can enhance social dynamics. By fostering an environment of respect and adaptability, individuals can create more harmonious interactions in their relationships.

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