"It's Always A Surprise" - AITA For Not Doing The "Christmas Craft" With My Family

A 28-year-old woman refused to join her family for her mom’s favorite “Christmas craft” night, thinking she was finally earning some independence. Sounds simple, right? Except this tradition is basically her mom’s love language, and skipping it did not land the way OP expected.

OP lives in the same city as her parents, so it wasn’t like she was disappearing across the country. She just wanted space, and she figured she could miss one evening and still be fine. But when the craft turned out to be a special one, OP showed up too late, watched everyone else get the keepsake, and suddenly felt hit with regret, guilt, and a major fear of missing out.

Now the whole family drama is boiling down to one question: was OP choosing independence, or acting like the problem?

The OP kicks off her story...

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The OP lives in the same city as her parents, but she wanted some independence

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If the OP had known it would be a special one, she may have shown up

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Maybe once he grew up some more, he would also want some independence

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OP’s mom is the one who built these extravagant Christmas celebrations, so skipping the craft is not a small decision in their house.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I think I might be the AH because I skipped out on my mom's favorite holiday tradition.

We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

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The OP was mean to her mom

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OP's mum has a demanding work life

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The OP seem to be a little harsh on her mum

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The complication hits when OP realizes the “special one” craft came with a keepsake she didn’t get, even though she’s local and could have made it.

This is similar to the AITA about whether a woman should share Christmas cookies with her elderly neighbor who may be feeling lonely.

Her reaction after missing Christmas Eve, a mix of fond memories and guilt, is what makes other Redditors side-eye her.

Spending time with family allows you to connect with your loved ones and have meaningful conversations with them. The holiday season is the ideal time to accomplish this because of the joyous attitude that permeates the entire area.

In a post-pandemic world when mental health has become a priority, the value of family time has become even more pertinent. The OP made her choice and has to live with the consequences.

And the comments continues...

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The OP can't have it both ways

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She'll always be there to spend time with the OP

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The OP is acting like a spoiled brat

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By the time the family tradition is done and the keepsake is gone, OP is stuck defending her independence while her mom is left feeling dismissed.

OP's reaction, after missing out on the Christmas Eve craft with her family, stems from a mix of guilt and fond memories. Having grown up with their mom's extravagant celebrations, OP's decision to skip the event was, to her, a step towards independence.

However, finding the special craft and being denied a keepsake triggered feelings of regret and fear of missing out. OP's response reveals a deeper appreciation for her mom's efforts, despite previously downplaying her.

The OP was declared as the AH, and that's a wrap.

OP might have wanted freedom, but she accidentally signed up for the “you missed it” fallout.

Want more holiday tension, like the 28F who decorated her Christmas tree alone after her family showed up?