Friend Betrayed Me: AITA for Skipping Her Birthday Party?

A 28-year-old woman refused to show up to her best friend Sarah’s birthday party after finding out Sarah had been dating the guy she liked, Alex, behind her back. And it wasn’t some vague rumor either, it was a betrayal she learned about the hard way.

Sarah and OP have been inseparable since college, the kind of friendship where you share everything. So when OP realized Sarah knew about her feelings for Alex and still went after him in secret, it landed like a gut punch. OP didn’t even hear the truth from Sarah first, it came from a mutual friend, which made the whole thing feel extra shady.

Now OP is stuck deciding whether one apology is enough to erase the fact that Sarah crossed a line she can’t unsee.

Original Post

I (28F) have been best friends with Sarah since college. We shared everything and were inseparable.

Recently, I found out that Sarah, who knew I had feelings for Alex, started dating him behind my back. I felt hurt and betrayed.

Sarah never mentioned it to me, and I had to hear it from a mutual friend. I confronted her, and she admitted to it, saying she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

I was devastated. Despite her apology, I can't bring myself to attend her upcoming birthday party.

I feel like she crossed a line that I can't ignore. Am I the a*****e for refusing to go and support her even after everything we've been through?

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This is messy like a best friend skipping a birthday after her ex got cozy with her.

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OP’s stomach dropped when she heard from a mutual friend that Sarah was already dating Alex, not when Sarah finally admitted it herself.

The confrontation went from “why didn’t you tell me?” to Sarah saying she “didn’t want to hurt” OP’s feelings, like that made it better.

Even after Sarah apologized, OP still couldn’t shake the betrayal, especially because the whole secret started while they were “inseparable” in college.

With Sarah’s upcoming birthday party looming, OP is weighing whether attending means swallowing the hurt, or finally drawing a line.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

Skipping the party might be the only way OP stops feeling like the secret was the real relationship.

Wait till you read about the boyfriend betrayal at a friend’s engagement party, and the fallout.