Friend Says I’m Discriminating Against Them For Their Disability Over Event Tickets - AITA?

Friend groups are supposed to be the place where plans are fun, not where disability becomes a spreadsheet. In this Reddit post, OP thought they were being fair about event tickets, but their friend heard something harsher: exclusion.

Here’s the setup. OP’s friend buys into pre-ticketed events, then sometimes can’t attend because of their disability. OP told them they either had to pay anyway or sit out the events, and that landed badly. Now OP says they’ve already taken a financial hit, lost their job, and can’t keep absorbing costs until they’re back on their feet.

What really makes it messy is that everyone agrees the friend deserves inclusion, but nobody can agree on who should eat the cost when attendance is out of their control.

Read the full story below to find out all that transpired

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The OP has now lost his job

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The OP shouldn't have taken the financial hit initially

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OP is still stuck paying for pre-ticketed events, even after their friend’s disability means they can’t always make it.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I told my friend that either they have to pay even if they cannot make it to an event because of their disability or sit the pre-ticketed events out. This may make me the AH because I'm excluding them from these events because they're disabled

Here are a bunch of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors...

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The OP should stop buying tickets

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Pay for your tickets

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The OP shouldn’t have the money to pay

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That’s when OP’s “pay anyway or sit it out” rule turns a simple concert plan into a full-on friendship stress test.

This ticket fight over disability feels like the cousin pressure case where someone refused to invest in a cousin’s start-up.

With OP now out of a job and unable to absorb the hit anymore, the ticket debate stops being theoretical and starts getting expensive.

The OP also left this comment behind saying...

Like, I work in tech so when I have a job I can easily absorb that hit. Happily do so even if it gives them even a chance to attend a concert or a west end show. I sometimes will even buy them a ticket (not their boyfriend, I don't know him that well but they have been my mate since forever)Right now I'm just not in a position to do so until I get a new job.

And the comments continues...

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Reselling the ticket

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Absorbing the cost

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Sending a link over

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Even the comments spiral into “resell it” and “pay for your tickets,” while OP tries to explain they used to help before everything fell apart.

Friendship is rarely tested during the easy moments. It’s in situations like these—where empathy, fairness and personal limits collide—that relationships are truly challenged.

Everyone in the group sees the situation through a different lens: compassion for a friend’s disability, frustration over repeated cancellations and the reality of financial boundaries that can’t be ignored forever. What began as simple plans among friends has quietly turned into a complicated question about responsibility, understanding and inclusion—one that doesn’t have an answer everyone can easily agree on.

Now OP’s wondering if they were trying to be fair, or if they just accidentally became the villain in their friend group.

Still stuck on family fallout, read how Reddit judged the cousin who skipped the reunion for therapy, in Choosing Mental Health Over Family: Am I the Jerk for Skipping Our Family Reunion?.