Forget Ghosting, Gen Z Is All About Shrekking In Dating Now

Some people used to call it “dating,” but Gen Z has decided it needs a whole new villain. Now the buzzword on everyone’s For You page is “shrekking,” the idea that you date someone you find less conventionally attractive while hoping they’ll treat you better once you’re in the relationship.

It started as a meme, with posts about “getting Shrekked” and comparisons to side quests, like modern dating is just a quest log of cookie jarring, roaching, and whatever else fits the latest trend. Then the jokes turned into side-eye when people pointed out what the mindset really is: ranking humans, assuming the rules change after you pick “the less attractive option.”

And once you see it, it’s hard to unsee how quickly a date turns into a spreadsheet.

Modern dating reacts to “shrekking” with humor, sarcasm, and frustration over endless buzzwords.

Social media has had a field day with the term. Some people treat it as a joke, sharing sarcastic posts about “getting Shrekked,” while others point out how bleak it sounds.

One person on X summed it up as,

“Dating someone unattractive in hopes that they’ll treat you better.” Another compared modern dating to a “side quest,” listing Shrekking alongside older terms like cookie jarring and roaching.

Others poked fun at how long the list of dating buzzwords has become. “Ghosting, lovebombing, breadcrumbing, shrekking… modern dating needs a whole semester’s worth of lectures,” one user wrote.

The responses show a mix of humor and frustration, with many questioning whether turning relationships into memes is helping anyone navigate them better.

Pexels

That “Dating someone unattractive in hopes that they’ll treat you better” post is where the humor starts to feel a little too close to real life.

Dating coach Amy Chan explained that while the phrase might be new, the behavior isn’t. People have always made choices where physical attraction wasn’t the top priority, and sometimes, attraction does grow over time.

That, in itself, isn’t negative. The issue comes when someone assumes that just because they’re choosing a partner they consider less conventionally attractive, they’re guaranteed respect and kindness.

Chan emphasized that a base level of attraction is important for a relationship to thrive. More importantly, she pointed out that how someone treats you isn’t dictated by their appearance.

A person’s values, empathy, and compatibility matter far more than whether or not they fit a certain standard of beauty.

Shrekking exposes the dangers of ranking people by looks instead of valuing real connection.

What makes Shrekking troubling is the mindset behind it. It relies on a ranking system that places people into categories of “better” or “worse” based on looks. That kind of thinking doesn’t just create shallow dynamics; it also distracts from what actually sustains a relationship.

Personality, shared goals, emotional connection—none of those can be predicted by whether someone is deemed more or less attractive. It also risks being unfair to both sides.

The person doing the Shrekking enters the relationship with assumptions rather than genuine interest, and the person being “dated down” is treated as a safe bet rather than a valued partner. That lack of authenticity can quickly unravel, which is likely why many who try it end up saying they’ve been “Shrekked.”

Pexels

When someone compares modern dating to a “side quest” and stacks shrekking next to older buzzwords, it makes the whole thing sound like a game with no stakes.

Also, if “shrekking” already sounds bleak, these 30 terrifying facts people actively sought out go even darker.

The frustration really lands when the conversation shifts from “lol, shrekked” to the uncomfortable logic of “better” versus “worse” based on looks.

The timing of the term’s rise isn’t random. With cuffing season approaching, many single people feel pressure to settle down, even temporarily, just to have companionship during colder months.

That environment makes trends like Shrekking more visible because people are actively looking for ways to avoid heartbreak. Ironically, though, leaning into such strategies may backfire, leaving people more disillusioned with dating than before.

While Shrekking might just be the latest quirky entry into dating slang, it highlights a deeper issue: how much people still try to “game” relationships instead of building them on genuine connection. Looks matter to a point, but they don’t guarantee kindness, love, or loyalty.

Reducing romance to a strategy of dating up or down only fuels the cynicism that so many already feel about modern dating.

In the end, whether the word sticks around or fades like so many others, the takeaway is simple: how someone treats you isn’t tied to where they fall on an attractiveness scale. It comes down to respect, values, and compatibility—things no meme-worthy term can really capture.

And that’s why Amy Chan’s point about attraction and respect hits differently, because the problem is never appearance, it’s the assumption that kindness is owed.

Navigating the complexities of modern dating requires a keen understanding of emerging terms like 'Shrekking,' which encapsulate the evolving emotional dynamics of relationships. This new term highlights a shift in dating behavior, where individuals engage in playful yet meaningful connections, reflecting a desire for authenticity amidst the chaos of ghosting and breadcrumbing.

Embracing concepts like open communication and self-awareness is crucial for those seeking success in their romantic endeavors. By doing so, individuals can approach dating with enhanced confidence and clarity, transforming their experiences into opportunities for growth.

Ultimately, cultivating emotional intelligence and familiarizing oneself with contemporary dating jargon can pave the way for healthier and more fulfilling relationships. As the language of dating continues to evolve, prioritizing honesty and openness will be key to navigating these new interactions effectively.

Nobody wants to feel like they were chosen as a downgrade with better behavior promised later.

For proof the past had its own “side quests,” check out the everyday side of the past in these 45 rare photos.