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Son Upsets His Stepmother When She Informs Him His Kids Will Refer To Her By Her First Name

The subject is a sensitive one for OP, as his own mother passed away a decade ago.

Son Upsets His Stepmother When She Informs Him His Kids Will Refer To Her By Her First Name

Original Poster's (OP) dad began dating a woman named 'Rita' (not her real name) a year after their mom passed from a long illness. OP and Rita have an okay relationship, and he's glad that she makes his father happy.

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Roughly eight months ago, OP and his wife had their first child — a daughter. OP's child is the first grandchild on his side of the family, and they're all obviously over the moon.

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OP, his wife, and their child went to visit his dad and Rita a few weeks before the holidays. They got to talking and ended up having a conversation about what OP's child will call the grandparents.

This is an important decision since OP's child is the first grandchild; whatever she calls her grandparents, the other grandchildren to come will follow suit. OP thought back to their family tradition.

The male grandparents in his family are referred to as 'Popa,' but OP's dad said that he didn't care what they called him; he's just glad to have a granddaughter. Rita thought that OP's idea was a good one.

She said that she always loved what they call OP's own grandma, 'Nonna.' OP and his wife made eye contact, as they had previously discussed this and were in agreement.

OP frankly said that he doesn't want to use 'Nonna' for anyone else other than his own late mother.

He explained that even though she's not with them anymore, they will still refer to her as Nonna when sharing stories. She is the kids' Nonna, and that's what they'll call her; end of discussion.

OP bluntly replied to Rita that his kids will probably call her by her first name, 'Rita.' OP saw that Rita was visibly upset by this.

Her own kids being a decade younger than OP, she will have to wait longer for her own grandkids. Rita was gracious enough that day and didn't say anything, but she acted coolly towards OP and his family for the duration of their visit.

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OP frankly said that he doesn't want to use 'Nonna' for anyone else other than his own late mother.Throwaway3143318
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Read OP's entire original post below:

Read OP's entire original post below:Throwaway3143318 Throwaway3143318 Throwaway3143318 Throwaway3143318

Commenters pointed out that it's ironic how OP 'knows' that Rita will treat his children like her own grandchildren but doesn't expect his kids to refer to her as grandma.

Commenters pointed out that it's ironic how OP 'knows' that Rita will treat his children like her own grandchildren but doesn't expect his kids to refer to her as grandma.Propofol_Totalis

OP says he doesn't particularly feel like he owes Rita this courtesy, as she is just his father's girlfriend, and he just wants to reserve that specific title for his own late mother.

OP says he doesn't particularly feel like he owes Rita this courtesy, as she is just his father's girlfriend, and he just wants to reserve that specific title for his own late mother.Throwaway3143318

They're right; it's not 'either or.' OP could have chosen another name.

They're right; it's not 'either or.' OP could have chosen another name.Propofol_Totalis

OP should definitely pick up the phone and apologize to Rita. It would be great if he could explain why he felt so strongly about the subject.

OP should definitely pick up the phone and apologize to Rita. It would be great if he could explain why he felt so strongly about the subject.DutyValuable

Some people were on OP's side and think it's unfair of Rita to put OP on the spot like that.

Some people were on OP's side and think it's unfair of Rita to put OP on the spot like that.ohsogreen

OP says he'd be fine if his kids call Rita by a different title, as long as it's not Nonna.

OP says he'd be fine if his kids call Rita by a different title, as long as it's not Nonna.Throwaway3143318

It's all about managing expectations, people. OP could have delivered it in a better way, but Rita shouldn't have expected such a personal nickname either.

It's all about managing expectations, people. OP could have delivered it in a better way, but Rita shouldn't have expected such a personal nickname either.JustKindaHappenedxx

All of this could have been avoided if they had communicated better or talked things out after the incident.

All of this could have been avoided if they had communicated better or talked things out after the incident.LaurelRose519

A Redditor empathized with OP's situation and shared their own personal experience.

A Redditor empathized with OP's situation and shared their own personal experience.cassandra_warned_you

Agreed; give Rita a call and talk it out.

Agreed; give Rita a call and talk it out.ProbablyLongComment

Thankfully, OP is willing to see reason and is not afraid to admit that he may have been too sensitive about the subject.

Thankfully, OP is willing to see reason and is not afraid to admit that he may have been too sensitive about the subject.Throwaway3143318

OP is doing a good job honoring his mom, but as much as he tries to keep her memory alive, his kids will only know her from his stories.

OP is doing a good job honoring his mom, but as much as he tries to keep her memory alive, his kids will only know her from his stories.BrownShoeJenny

Some also suggested that maybe the family should let the children decide what to call their grandparents.

Some also suggested that maybe the family should let the children decide what to call their grandparents.blinky1415

Rita will be the grandmother they know in real life, and that's not a bad thing for the children.

Rita will be the grandmother they know in real life, and that's not a bad thing for the children.BrownShoeJenny

This topic is rooted in something deeper, and here we can see why OP is so touchy about Nonna.

This topic is rooted in something deeper, and here we can see why OP is so touchy about Nonna.Throwaway3143318

Yes, this is the solution. There are a plethora of endearments for grandmother; it doesn't just have to be Nonna.

Yes, this is the solution. There are a plethora of endearments for grandmother; it doesn't just have to be Nonna.Anakerie

It's okay, OP. Just talk to Rita!

It's okay, OP. Just talk to Rita!Throwaway3143318

Redditors willingly shared their own nicknames for their grandparents.

Redditors willingly shared their own nicknames for their grandparents.Throwawayesque-ish

Grandma Peanut sounds like a hoot! Grandmothers really do feed everyone, don't they?

Grandma Peanut sounds like a hoot! Grandmothers really do feed everyone, don't they?kittenpettingfool

If you let kids name people, they'll come up with adorable and creative endearments.

If you let kids name people, they'll come up with adorable and creative endearments.GeorgieWhorewell

Do they call her that in public?

Do they call her that in public?SufficientWay3663

Just by his name alone, you can tell that OG is a cool man.

Just by his name alone, you can tell that OG is a cool man.bananaphone1549

In the end, Reddit enlightened OP, and he admitted that he was too brash with the way he answered Rita.

In the end, Reddit enlightened OP, and he admitted that he was too brash with the way he answered Rita.Judgement_Bot_AITA

Hopefully, OP did reach out to Rita, and they were able to resolve the conflict. It's not really about them anyway; it's about the kids.

OP felt so strongly about the subject because of the ties to his dearly departed mother. Don't worry, OP; you're doing a good job honoring your mom, and Rita will be another person to love your kids unconditionally.

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