Son Upsets His Stepmother When She Informs Him His Kids Will Refer To Her By Her First Name
The subject is a sensitive one for OP, as his own mother passed away a decade ago.
One family nickname turned into a surprisingly tense moment when a new grandmother title came up during a holiday visit. OP was already happy that his dad had found love again after losing his mom, but the conversation shifted fast once his baby daughter entered the picture.
OP, his wife, and their first child were visiting his dad and Rita when they started talking about what the baby would call her grandparents. The family already has a tradition for grandpa names, but Rita had her own idea, and OP and his wife were not on the same page.
Now the question is whether OP was protecting a meaningful family name, or making things awkward for no reason. Read on.
OP frankly said that he doesn't want to use 'Nonna' for anyone else other than his own late mother.
He explained that even though she's not with them anymore, they will still refer to her as Nonna when sharing stories. She is the kids' Nonna, and that's what they'll call her; end of discussion.
OP bluntly replied to Rita that his kids will probably call her by her first name, 'Rita.' OP saw that Rita was visibly upset by this.
Her own kids being a decade younger than OP, she will have to wait longer for her own grandkids. Rita was gracious enough that day and didn't say anything, but she acted coolly towards OP and his family for the duration of their visit.
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Commenters pointed out that it's ironic how OP 'knows' that Rita will treat his children like her own grandchildren but doesn't expect his kids to refer to her as grandma.
Commenters pointed out that it's ironic how OP 'knows' that Rita will treat his children like her own grandchildren but doesn't expect his kids to refer to her as grandma.
Propofol_Totalis
That is where the conversation started to split people.
OP says he doesn't particularly feel like he owes Rita this courtesy, as she is just his father's girlfriend, and he just wants to reserve that specific title for his own late mother.
Throwaway3143318
They're right; it's not 'either or.' OP could have chosen another name.
Propofol_Totalis
OP should definitely pick up the phone and apologize to Rita. It would be great if he could explain why he felt so strongly about the subject.
DutyValuable
Some people were on OP's side and think it's unfair of Rita to put OP on the spot like that.
ohsogreen
OP says he'd be fine if his kids call Rita by a different title, as long as it's not Nonna.
Throwaway3143318
Another round of comments kept circling back to the same issue, the name itself.
It's all about managing expectations, people. OP could have delivered it in a better way, but Rita shouldn't have expected such a personal nickname either.
JustKindaHappenedxx
All of this could have been avoided if they had communicated better or talked things out after the incident.
LaurelRose519
A Redditor empathized with OP's situation and shared their own personal experience.
cassandra_warned_you
Agreed; give Rita a call and talk it out.
ProbablyLongComment
Thankfully, OP is willing to see reason and is not afraid to admit that he may have been too sensitive about the subject.
Throwaway3143318
Some commenters thought the kids should get a say in what they call their grandparents.
OP is doing a good job honoring his mom, but as much as he tries to keep her memory alive, his kids will only know her from his stories.
BrownShoeJenny
Some also suggested that maybe the family should let the children decide what to call their grandparents.
blinky1415
Rita will be the grandmother they know in real life, and that's not a bad thing for the children.
BrownShoeJenny
This topic is rooted in something deeper, and here we can see why OP is so touchy about Nonna.
Throwaway3143318
Yes, this is the solution. There are a plethora of endearments for grandmother; it doesn't just have to be Nonna.
Anakerie
Then the thread took a lighter turn as people started sharing their own family nicknames.
It's okay, OP. Just talk to Rita!
Throwaway3143318
Redditors willingly shared their own nicknames for their grandparents.
Throwawayesque-ish
Grandma Peanut sounds like a hoot! Grandmothers really do feed everyone, don't they?
kittenpettingfool
If you let kids name people, they'll come up with adorable and creative endearments.
GeorgieWhorewell
Do they call her that in public?
SufficientWay3663
Just by his name alone, you can tell that OG is a cool man.
bananaphone1549
Hopefully, OP did reach out to Rita, and they were able to resolve the conflict. It's not really about them anyway; it's about the kids.
OP felt so strongly about the subject because of the ties to his dearly departed mother. Don't worry, OP; you're doing a good job honoring your mom, and Rita will be another person to love your kids unconditionally.
For more family blowups over grandma traditions, read how OP refused to share her grandma’s secret chili recipe after insults.
