How Growing Up Poor Shapes Lives In Ways The Wealthy Will Never Understand

Growing up poor can shape a person’s life in ways that are hard to understand if you’ve never experienced it. Money struggles often affect how people view spending, security, and even relationships, and these effects can last long after their financial situation improves.

A recent discussion on Reddit brought this into focus. One user, PrestonRoad90, asked others who grew up poor to share what they believe wealthier people will never fully understand about their experience. The conversation quickly took off, with thousands of replies showing how deeply poverty can affect a person.

The stories shared on the thread clearly show the emotional and practical challenges of growing up without enough money. People talked about everyday sacrifices, constant worries over bills, and how these experiences have shaped their views on life.

Money struggles don’t just affect a person’s finances—they also take an emotional toll. Many people shared that growing up poor made them feel embarrassed or ashamed, especially when comparing themselves to wealthier kids. This shame can lead to low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, even as adults.

Even after achieving success, some people still feel like they are at risk of losing everything. They feel insecure, always wondering if their hard-earned stability could disappear.

This emotional weight often affects their decisions, whether in their careers, relationships, or even simple choices like buying something nice for themselves.

A Reddit user brought up the topic.

Reddit

Being poor is very expensive.

"Being poor is very expensive. For example, if you're unable to afford to pay a speeding ticket, it will accrue late fees, making it even harder to pay off.If you need money right now to buy food and pay rent, payday loan shops can help you, but with exorbitant interest rates, so you'll end up paying back way more than you borrowed.If you have a toothache but can't afford to see the dentist, it can grow into something worse and more costly to fix."Reddit

Poverty means constant planning.

"You just get so tired. It feels like there's no resting because there's always the pervasive feeling that you should be doing/making/fixing something. Poverty means constant planning—for the next meal, for the next bill, for the next crisis."

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Psychological Impact of Poverty

Dr. Bruce Perry, a renowned child psychiatrist, has extensively researched how childhood adversity, including poverty, affects brain development. He notes that children raised in impoverished environments often experience heightened stress responses, which can lead to long-term emotional and cognitive challenges.

This aligns with findings from the American Psychological Association, which highlight that chronic stress can impair memory and learning.

Understanding these effects can help individuals recognize the roots of their emotional responses and seek targeted interventions.

Anxiety at the cash register.

"The anxiety you feel at the cash register. Knowing there’s nothing else you can put back, that you genuinely need every item and it’s the cheapest possible price, but somehow it’s still too expensive. That feeling never goes away."

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"How little activities like 'bring valentines for everyone in class' or 'let’s hold a bake sale' were stressful AF."

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"How difficult it is to crawl out of generational poverty."

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Financial experts like David Bach emphasize that growing up poor can instill a scarcity mindset, making individuals overly cautious about spending even in financially stable situations. This mindset may lead to missed investments in opportunities or experiences that could enhance life quality.

To counteract this, experts suggest developing a balanced financial plan that includes savings, investments, and discretionary spending for enjoyable activities. By setting specific goals, individuals can shift their focus from scarcity to abundance.

"When you are starving and there's nothing to eat, so the only option left is to try and sleep because you hope that when you wake up, you won't feel so hungry."

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The constant fear of running out of money.

"The constant fear of running out of money creates this weird obsession over and guilt about spending money, even when you've got decent finances. I grew up poor, and my partner grew up upper-middle class. We have managed to carve out a pretty comfortable life, but I still have panic attacks about money and being able to afford essentials (food, rent, etc.). They are flabbergasted every time it happens—supportive but completely confused as to why I get so upset. My response is always, 'money can run out.'"Reddit

"That sugar toast is an acceptable dinner."

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Resilience Through Experience

Dr. Madeline Levine, a leading child psychologist, highlights that while growing up poor poses significant challenges, it can also foster resilience. She argues that children from low-income backgrounds often develop resourcefulness and adaptability, traits that can be advantageous in adulthood.

However, it's essential for these individuals to recognize their strengths and seek mentorship or support systems that validate their experiences. This acknowledgment can promote a healthier self-image and encourage personal growth.

"Being bullied for being poor."

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Food insecurity.

"Food insecurity. I’m 60, and even now, having no debt and being in a good spot, I still hoard food and keep any bit of leftovers. I remember going hungry and/or only having a small portion to eat—no seconds."Reddit

Relationships matter.

"How much relationships matter. You're a lot safer in a dangerous neighborhood if you know and have good allies/friends in the neighborhood. It's a lot easier to share a bedroom with four or so other people if you like those people. You can't afford that new car part, but if you know that dude in the neighborhood who fixes cars, he might hook you up for a little cash. Etc., etc. TLDR: having solid, good relationships with people you have history with can make a WORLD of difference."

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Financial columnist Michelle Singletary points out that the emotional toll of poverty often results in a fear of financial instability, even after achieving financial security. This fear can lead to anxiety and reluctance to take necessary financial risks.

To mitigate this, she recommends practicing mindfulness and stress management techniques, such as meditation or journaling. These practices can help individuals process their feelings about money and develop a healthier relationship with it.

"Getting to stay home instead of school field trips because mom could never afford the ticket. I used to get excited about it until I realized why."

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"Amount of time feeling powerless."

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Parents are not able to provide support into adulthood.

"Your parents not being able to support you into adulthood. Hell, mine stopped being able to when I was 15. I can always tell someone didn’t come from poverty when their suggestion to somebody facing financial troubles is 'talk to your parents.'"

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Social Connections and Trust

Dr. John Gottman, a prominent relationship researcher, asserts that trust and social connections are pivotal for emotional well-being. He notes that individuals who grew up in poverty may struggle with trust due to inconsistent support during formative years.

To build healthier relationships, experts recommend engaging in open conversations about past experiences, which can foster understanding and empathy. Additionally, participating in community groups can help create new, trusting relationships that reinforce social support.

Car repairs.

"How stupid the phrase 'it'll cost more to repair it than it's worth' is when it comes to car repairs. It doesn't matter if that s**tbox isn't worth $500; a $600 repair that you're going to have to beg, borrow, and steal to afford is still cheaper than coming up with a down payment, monthly payments, full coverage insurance, etc., that you need for a decent used car. Also, just how many laws and proposed laws utterly f**k over the poor—emission inspections being a big one."Reddit

"Small problems become large ones when you don't have adequate savings. Any extra expense can be catastrophic."

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Mother wears 20+ year-old worn-out clothing.

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Life coach Tony Robbins emphasizes the importance of mindset in overcoming past adversities. He suggests that reframing experiences from a perspective of empowerment can significantly change how individuals approach future challenges.

Setting personal development goals—whether through education, career planning, or skill-building—can help individuals shift their focus from limited resources to potential opportunities. This proactive approach fosters a sense of agency and control.

Probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant.

"As a fellow poor kid, the stinky kid in class probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant. It still could be true for the stinky poor adult in your life. Be mindful and considerate sometimes."

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"Being excluded from just about everything."

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Poor people spend on what brings them joy when possible rather than solely saving for necessities.

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The Role of Education

Dr. Sugata Mitra, an education researcher, argues that educational environments can significantly impact individuals who grew up poor. He advocates for self-directed learning as an effective way to empower these individuals, allowing them to explore their interests and develop skills independently.

Creating supportive educational settings that encourage exploration and creativity can help bridge the gap created by early financial hardships. Schools and community programs should prioritize inclusive curricular activities that foster growth and learning.

Basic needs are luxury.

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Not being able to afford groceries due to a price increase.

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"You fix things yourself."

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Child psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck explains that fostering a growth mindset is crucial for those who grew up in poverty. Individuals with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, leading to resilience and a love for learning.

Encouraging this mindset can be done through positive reinforcement and setting achievable goals. Engaging in activities that challenge comfort zones can also help individuals embrace new opportunities, paving the way for personal growth.

"Being told: 'Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.'"

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"Some things can be cheap or low price and still not affordable."

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"Money doesn't buy happiness" Ahahahahahahahahahahahah.

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Financial Literacy as Empowerment

Financial expert Ramit Sethi emphasizes the importance of financial literacy for individuals who grew up poor. He argues that understanding basic financial concepts can empower individuals to make informed decisions, ultimately breaking the cycle of poverty.

Implementing financial education programs in schools and communities can significantly improve financial literacy. Workshops that include budgeting, investing, and saving strategies can help individuals feel more confident in managing their finances and planning for the future.

Healthcare.

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Making ends meet.

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Hunger.

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Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher on vulnerability and shame, highlights that the emotional scars from poverty can lead to feelings of unworthiness. She suggests that sharing personal stories can help individuals process their experiences and foster connections with others.

This vulnerability can be a powerful tool for healing. Support groups or therapy sessions focused on storytelling can create a safe space for individuals to explore their emotions and build a sense of community and belonging.

Worrying about basic needs.

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The experiences shared in the Reddit discussion show how deeply growing up poor can affect a person, even after they’ve improved their financial situation. While economic hardship can be overcome, the emotional scars and habits formed during those tough times often stay with people for life.

It can be difficult for those who have always had enough money to fully understand these struggles. But by listening to these stories, we can better understand the lasting impact of poverty and the resilience it often builds in people.

Understanding the complex emotional and psychological effects of growing up poor is crucial in fostering empathy and support for those affected. Experts across various fields emphasize the importance of resilience, education, and financial literacy as tools for overcoming these challenges.

By implementing community support systems, promoting positive mindsets, and encouraging open dialogues about financial experiences, we can create environments that empower individuals to thrive. Ultimately, acknowledging and addressing these issues leads to healthier relationships and a more equitable society.