How Growing Up Poor Shapes Lives In Ways The Wealthy Will Never Understand

A speeding ticket should not be a life-altering event, but for the Redditor who started this thread, it was.

Then there were the other dominoes they listed, payday loan shops offering “help” with interest rates that quietly drain you, and a toothache that turns into a bigger, pricier problem because the dentist is out of reach. On top of that, they described the mental tax, the nonstop planning for the next meal, the next bill, the next crisis, and the anxiety that hits you right at the cash register.

It gets even messier when you realize how deep the fear of “running out” can sink, even long after the original emergency is over.

A Reddit user brought up the topic.

Reddit

Being poor is very expensive.

"Being poor is very expensive. For example, if you're unable to afford to pay a speeding ticket, it will accrue late fees, making it even harder to pay off.If you need money right now to buy food and pay rent, payday loan shops can help you, but with exorbitant interest rates, so you'll end up paying back way more than you borrowed.If you have a toothache but can't afford to see the dentist, it can grow into something worse and more costly to fix."Reddit

Poverty means constant planning.

"You just get so tired. It feels like there's no resting because there's always the pervasive feeling that you should be doing/making/fixing something. Poverty means constant planning—for the next meal, for the next bill, for the next crisis."Reddit

Psychological Impact of Poverty

Understanding these effects can help individuals recognize the roots of their emotional responses and seek targeted interventions.

Anxiety at the cash register.

"The anxiety you feel at the cash register. Knowing there’s nothing else you can put back, that you genuinely need every item and it’s the cheapest possible price, but somehow it’s still too expensive. That feeling never goes away."Reddit

"How little activities like 'bring valentines for everyone in class' or 'let’s hold a bake sale' were stressful AF."

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"How difficult it is to crawl out of generational poverty."

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The thread started with a speeding ticket that turned into late fees, and that same “can’t afford it” logic kept stacking on every new problem the Redditor named.

Growing up poor can instill a scarcity mindset, making individuals overly cautious about spending even in financially stable situations. This mindset may lead to missed investments in opportunities or experiences that could enhance life quality. By setting specific goals, individuals can shift their focus from scarcity to abundance.

"When you are starving and there's nothing to eat, so the only option left is to try and sleep because you hope that when you wake up, you won't feel so hungry."

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The constant fear of running out of money.

"The constant fear of running out of money creates this weird obsession over and guilt about spending money, even when you've got decent finances. I grew up poor, and my partner grew up upper-middle class. We have managed to carve out a pretty comfortable life, but I still have panic attacks about money and being able to afford essentials (food, rent, etc.). They are flabbergasted every time it happens—supportive but completely confused as to why I get so upset. My response is always, 'money can run out.'"Reddit

"That sugar toast is an acceptable dinner."

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While the challenges of growing up poor are significant, they often cultivate a unique resilience in individuals.

"Being bullied for being poor."

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Food insecurity.

"Food insecurity. I’m 60, and even now, having no debt and being in a good spot, I still hoard food and keep any bit of leftovers. I remember going hungry and/or only having a small portion to eat—no seconds."Reddit

Relationships matter.

"How much relationships matter. You're a lot safer in a dangerous neighborhood if you know and have good allies/friends in the neighborhood. It's a lot easier to share a bedroom with four or so other people if you like those people. You can't afford that new car part, but if you know that dude in the neighborhood who fixes cars, he might hook you up for a little cash. Etc., etc. TLDR: having solid, good relationships with people you have history with can make a WORLD of difference."Reddit

When they mentioned payday loans and that toothache that escalated, you could feel how every delay made the next fix more expensive, not less.

Financial columnist points out that the emotional toll of poverty often results in a fear of financial instability, even after achieving financial security. This fear can lead to anxiety and reluctance to take necessary financial risks.

"Getting to stay home instead of school field trips because mom could never afford the ticket. I used to get excited about it until I realized why."

Reddit

"Amount of time feeling powerless."

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Parents are not able to provide support into adulthood.

"Your parents not being able to support you into adulthood. Hell, mine stopped being able to when I was 15. I can always tell someone didn’t come from poverty when their suggestion to somebody facing financial troubles is 'talk to your parents.'"Reddit

Social Connections and Trust

It’s a lot like the woman whose boyfriend expected access to her family savings.

Car repairs.

"How stupid the phrase 'it'll cost more to repair it than it's worth' is when it comes to car repairs. It doesn't matter if that s**tbox isn't worth $500; a $600 repair that you're going to have to beg, borrow, and steal to afford is still cheaper than coming up with a down payment, monthly payments, full coverage insurance, etc., that you need for a decent used car. Also, just how many laws and proposed laws utterly f**k over the poor—emission inspections being a big one."Reddit

"Small problems become large ones when you don't have adequate savings. Any extra expense can be catastrophic."

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Mother wears 20+ year-old worn-out clothing.

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Setting personal development goals-whether through education, career planning, or skill-building-can help individuals shift their focus from limited resources to potential opportunities. This proactive approach fosters a sense of agency and control.

Probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant.

"As a fellow poor kid, the stinky kid in class probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant. It still could be true for the stinky poor adult in your life. Be mindful and considerate sometimes."Reddit

"Being excluded from just about everything."

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Poor people spend on what brings them joy when possible rather than solely saving for necessities.

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That’s when the cash register anxiety hit, plus the extra stress of school “simple” things like valentines and bake sales that nobody expects to be brutal.

Educational environments can significantly impact individuals who grew up poor.

Basic needs are luxury.

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Not being able to afford groceries due to a price increase.

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"You fix things yourself."

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Fostering a growth mindset is crucial for those who grew up in poverty. Individuals with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, leading to resilience and a love for learning.

Encouraging this mindset can be done through positive reinforcement and setting achievable goals. Engaging in activities that challenge comfort zones can also help individuals embrace new opportunities, paving the way for personal growth.

"Being told: 'Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.'"

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"Some things can be cheap or low price and still not affordable."

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"Money doesn't buy happiness" Ahahahahahahahahahahahah.

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By the time they got to generational poverty and the constant fear of running out of money, it sounded less like bad luck and more like a system that never shuts off.

Financial Literacy as Empowerment

Implementing financial education programs in schools and communities can significantly improve financial literacy. Workshops that include budgeting, investing, and saving strategies can help individuals feel more confident in managing their finances and planning for the future.

Healthcare.

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Making ends meet.

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Hunger.

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This vulnerability can be a powerful tool for healing. Support groups or therapy sessions focused on storytelling can create a safe space for individuals to explore their emotions and build a sense of community and belonging.

Worrying about basic needs.

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The experiences shared in the Reddit discussion show how deeply growing up poor can affect a person, even after they’ve improved their financial situation. While economic hardship can be overcome, the emotional scars and habits formed during those tough times often stay with people for life.

It can be difficult for those who have always had enough money to fully understand these struggles. But by listening to these stories, we can better understand the lasting impact of poverty and the resilience it often builds in people.

Understanding the complex emotional and psychological effects of growing up poor is crucial in fostering empathy and support for those affected. Experts across various fields emphasize the importance of resilience, education, and financial literacy as tools for overcoming these challenges.

By implementing community support systems, promoting positive mindsets, and encouraging open dialogues about financial experiences, we can create environments that empower individuals to thrive. Ultimately, acknowledging and addressing these issues leads to healthier relationships and a more equitable society.

Nobody wants to grow up counting bills like they are countdown timers.

For more “wealth decides everything” energy, check out the woman whose bank balance turned her relationship into a money fight.