30 People Share What Real, Horrible Names Parents Give Their Kids That Make Them Think The Parents Are Stupid

"There was a girl in my class in Montreal named 'Asthma.'"

Choosing a name for your babies is a monumental task, and parents often want to give their kids a name that is meaningful and sets a precedent for how they will grow up. Some might name their child something classic and elegant like "Victoria," hoping that their kid will someday grow up to be a woman who exudes that kind of aura; others may opt for simpler names like "Zoe" or "Amy."

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But gone are the days when parents would name their kids pretty normal names like "Olivia," "Jordan," and "Daisy." Nowadays, parents seem to be in a competition to give their kids the most unique names they can find, inspired by celebrities like the Kardashians, who encourage them to choose something unusual yet distinctive.

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Some parents try too hard to be unique, which can ruin the whole idea, and they aren't even aware that they are setting their kids up for mockery. Imagine being named Corona just because you were born in the middle of a pandemic in 2020!

People often go way overboard because they hyperfocus on the individuality they believe they are "blessing" their child with. But what they don't realize is that they often end up giving them completely ridiculous names that are sure to be changed anyway once these kids break free.

That being said, people flocked to online communities to share some of the worst baby names they have ever heard—which ultimately led them to think that the parents must be bonkers for even considering them. Check out some of the most hilarious entries below!

1. "Nevaeh."

- arcxjo

1. NameBirthdayCakes
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2. "Before my nephew was born, my sister sent me a text asking if I liked the name 'Rylar.'"

I sent her a list of questions to ask herself, and if she answered yes to any of them, then Rylar would be a fantastic name for her child. The questions were:1) Is he destined to be a lion tamer and/or magician?2) Will he not have a last name, like Seal or Prince?3) Is he going to have an ominous title like "The Terrible" after his name?4) Is he a character in an RPG?She named him Lucas.

-HCDannyboy

2. Plings
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3. "A girl at the gas station was explaining her daughter's name to the clerk..."

She named her daughter "Anesthesia." Spelled exactly like the medical drug, but pronounced Anastasia like the movie. - garlong1233.

4. "Jimothy."

Yikes. - redditttor14. OSPAN ALI

5. "One of the girls in my daughter's kindergarten class is named Quinsy."

It’s a disease. There are two Dyxins with the same “unique” spelling and a Chacha, which is what I used to call my vagina growing up. - IntrudingAlligator5. BBC Creative

6. "Any normal name that is misspelled to make it 'unique.'"

- barra333

6. Aaron Burden

7. "I saw a girl on the news named Kim Wimberly."

Kimberly Wimberly.

-murderofcrows90

7. Erik Mclean

8. "I met a girl, and her name was C’mon."

She got upset when I didn’t pronounce Simone correctly. - BruceVFL8. Lucia Macedo

9. "I understand there are a lot of different ways to spell Kaitlin..."

But the spellings that are like Ckaetlyin or KVIIIlyn or some c**p. - anon9. Sander Sammy

10. "I know a couple who named their daughter Khaleesi Danyris (that's how they spell it)..."

But only the wife watches GOT. The guy has no idea. - DarthAdobo10.

11. "Ryvar (pronounced River)."

I'll never understand unique names that come at the expense of atrocious spelling. - tasertoast1211. No Revisions

12. "My friend's sister has three children - one girl and two boys."

They are called Maisie Moo, Ryder Rae, and Brooklyn Blu. - bilnas12. Phil Nguyen

13. "There was a girl in my class in Montreal named 'Asthma.'"

I s**t you not. I was 6 years old, and that is my earliest memory of being baffled by humans.Like, why not call your kid f*****g lymphoma? Hell, why not call your kid meningococcal meningitis?

-xIcarusLives

13. elmimmo

14. "Product/brand names like Porsche, Chanel, etc."

- Salt-Pile

14. Brian Burger

15. "I know someone who is about to name their baby Londyn."

Why would you name them a word everybody knows but not spell it that way? She'll spend her whole life correcting people. - ImSomebodyNow15. Marianna

16. "Basically anything ending in 'ayden.'"

Things like Zayden and Rayden.And I'm not sure if it's real, but Traylor sounds hilarious.

-gratedCheeseOnToast

16. Brooke Cagle

17. "Recently, they made it legal in Poland to name your child whatever you want."

So people are coming up with these appalling Polish-spelled versions of English names they know from the movies. The "Brajan" and "Dżesika" generation is coming. (That's Brian and Jessica. It's as if an American named their son "Stanni'suave," I guess.) - nakomin17.

18. "The same first letter for all of the sisters and brothers."

It's cute when it's two siblings, but if it's three, it just seems like a gimmick.Imagine being the youngest kid, knowing your parents didn't look at you and feel inspired to pick the best name, but were more like, "Gee, what starts with K that we haven't used yet?"

-anon

18. Ben Wicks

19. "I was assisting a photographer during my son's picture day at his elementary school a couple of years ago, and there was a girl named Areola."

All I could think was, "Why do the parents of this adorable little girl HATE HER??" - onetwo34fivesix719. picture day

20. "I saw on Facebook that one of the girls who went to my high school named her daughter Danyell."

That's how she thought it was spelled, apparently. I also live in a province where they don't fail kids anymore, and you can get to grade 10 without being literate.Edit: I guess the education system in Canada just sucks overall.

-matt95110

20. Shubham Sharan

21. "My cousin has 5 children (all in state custody); their names are: Akevion, Jazaraye, Dametreon, Chelcee, and Kerionnya."

Elizreonna Kay is on the way.PS: We're white.

-anon

21. Tyler Nix

22. "I s**t you not, I know a co-worker who named her daughter Elizabreth."

It's just.....sigh.....I don't know, man. Yes, it is a name, but ....but....but...but why? Just why?!!!!!! - Dildo-Gankings22. Tingey Injury Law Firm

23. "I was told when naming my daughter to say the following sentences out loud..."

1) Please stand for the President of the United States, [insert name].2) Gentlemen, dancing tonight on the main pole here at The Bunny Club, [insert name].If #2 flows better, pick another name.

-tsinitia

23. Forja2 Mx

24. "I was volunteering at a middle school, and a kid came running up to me and said, 'My name is King.'"

I thought, okay, but his middle name was Lucifer. I was speaking with King Lucifer.Also, my wife is a teacher and had students named Mi'Queen and Mi'king. What a time to be alive!-MisterMiracle2324. nrd

25. "There is no such thing as a baby name; the name you give your baby is also going to be their adult professional name..."

Some parents forget to name their child accordingly.But to answer your question, I dislike most names that involve some kind of universal virtue. Joy and Hope are acceptable, but Love is pushing it.

-anon

25. Thomas Altfather Good

26. "A girl applied at my work the other day with the name Precious..."

My inner Phoebe thought, "Okay, I can't call you that." - Aerosgirl26. Magnet.me

27. "Guys, I was at Disneyland and heard the most ridiculous children's names."

These were my favorites:
  • England and Scotland
  • Arrow and Quiver

-peanutbuter_smoothie

27. Sogol Salehi

28. "Chardonnay."

The parents named her after their favorite wine.

-Back2Bach

28. Armands Brants

29. "Baeby."

- PoopIsYum

29. nicolasconnault

30. "I worked at a summer camp, and this family had 5 kids and 1 on the way, but the 3 at my camp were named Integrity, Honesty, and Rage."

Ironically, Rage was the sweet one. But we would always joke about what they would name the next kid. I liked the name Punctual. - throwaway34504150130. Frank Alarcon

Who in their right mind would even want to name their kid something so ridiculous? It's quite understandable that parents want something unique, but would you really want your kid to grow up with a name like "Asthma"?

Comment down your thoughts or share this article with all your family and friends to see—and save any future kid from humiliation while you're at it!

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