How to Deal with a Friend Who Always Copies Your Travel Plans

A 28-year-old woman is realizing her “friend” might not be stealing her ideas with malice, but it sure feels like it. Every time she mentions a trip, an activity, or even the vibe she wants, her friend somehow lands on the exact same plan soon after.

It started with smaller coincidences, but it escalated fast. She booked a cozy mountain cabin for Christmas and told her friend about it, then found out a week later her friend booked the same cabin for the same dates. Now the holidays are coming again, and OP has found a beach vacation she’s been dreaming about for months.

The problem is, she knows she’ll eventually bring it up, and she’s terrified her friend will copy it again, tag along, and turn her “special” trip into something that doesn’t feel like hers.

Original Post

I (28F) have a friend (29F) who always seems to copy my travel plans. Every time I mention a destination or activity I'm interested in, she ends up doing the same thing shortly after.

It started innocently enough, but it's gotten to the point where she copies not just the location but even the specific details. Last year, I booked a holiday trip to a cozy cabin in the mountains for Christmas.

I was excited and shared this with her, only to find out a week later that she had also booked the same cabin for the same dates. This pattern has repeated several times, and it's honestly starting to feel invasive.

It's like she can't come up with her own ideas or preferences and just latches onto mine. Now, with the holidays approaching, I've found a fantastic deal for a beach vacation that I've been dreaming of for months.

I haven't told anyone about it yet, but I know eventually I'll mention it to her because we talk about our travel plans a lot. The dilemma is, I really don't want her to ruin this trip by copying it like she's done before.

Part of me feels I should be able to share my excitement without worrying about her copying me, but another part wants to keep this trip private to avoid her tagging along. Would I be the a*****e if I purposely keep my holiday plans a secret from her to prevent her from copying me again?

I value our friendship, but this behavior is making me feel suffocated and like I can't have anything special to myself anymore. So, WIBTA?

The Dilemma of Sharing Plans

This Reddit user's struggle highlights a familiar yet uncomfortable reality in friendships: the balance between sharing experiences and maintaining individuality. It's tough when a friend seems to latch onto your travel plans as if they were their own. The OP's hesitation to share future plans isn't just about secrecy; it’s about protecting their personal joy and uniqueness.

What's particularly striking is that the holiday season often amplifies feelings of possessiveness over experiences. After all, who wouldn’t want their adventures to feel special? This friend’s pattern could stem from a desire for closeness, but it risks turning shared experiences into a source of resentment. The question remains: is it selfish to want to keep some of your joy to yourself?

Comment from u/CoffeeBean92

Comment from u/Globetrotter22

Comment from u/RisingSunflower

That first cabin booking is where this went from quirky coincidence to “wait, how did you get the same place?”

After OP shared the Christmas details and her friend matched the dates, the friendship started feeling less like support and more like surveillance.

It’s like the debate over sharing budget travel tips with a friend planning a luxury vacation, where boundaries and respect for expertise became the real issue.

Community Divided on Friendship Ethics

The community reaction to this post is fascinating, with commenters split on the moral implications of the OP's situation. Some argue that the friend’s behavior is a form of flattery, suggesting that imitation is a high form of praise. Others, however, see it as a breach of boundaries that can sour a friendship.

This division is a testament to how people perceive relationships differently. For some, sharing travel plans is a way to strengthen bonds, while for others, it feels like an infringement on personal space. The OP's dilemma taps into broader themes of autonomy versus companionship, raising the question of how much we should accommodate friends without losing ourselves in the process.

Comment from u/AdventureSeeker99

Comment from u/ZenTraveler76

Now OP has a totally different beach deal lined up, and she’s weighing whether silence will protect her joy or just create drama.

With OP and her friend talking travel plans all the time, the fear is real that the moment OP says “beach vacation,” her friend will book it too.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

The Bottom Line

This Reddit tale shows just how complicated friendships can get when individuality clashes with shared experiences. The OP's struggle reveals a common tension: can you still celebrate your own adventures while keeping your friends included? As the holiday season approaches, do you think it's reasonable to keep your plans private to maintain that sense of personal joy? Or is sharing an essential part of friendship? Let us know your thoughts!

The Reddit user's frustration highlights a real conflict between sharing experiences and maintaining a sense of individuality. As she prepares for her dream beach vacation, her friend’s habit of copying her plans has transformed what should be an exciting revelation into a source of anxiety. This situation speaks to the larger issue of boundaries in friendships, where the desire for closeness can sometimes blur the lines of personal space and autonomy, leaving one feeling suffocated instead of supported. Ultimately, her dilemma raises the question of whether it's acceptable to prioritize personal joy over the expectations of friendship.

OP might be “the problem” in her friend’s eyes, but nobody wants their holiday excitement treated like a template.

Before you share any vacation planning tips, read how this best friend ruined the last trip. AITA for withholding vacation planning tips.