Ignoring My Bosss Inappropriate Behavior at Company Event: AITA?

A corporate dinner should not turn into a “watch your boss speed-run professionalism” nightmare. But that’s exactly what happened when OP’s 50-something boss got seriously intoxicated and started firing off inappropriate comments like it was a party, not a workplace event.

It wasn’t just one awkward joke either. She flirted with junior staff, danced provocatively, and then the next day acted like it was all hilarious, bragging about how “wild” she got. OP stayed quiet, assuming it was a one-off, while coworkers split hard, some treating it like entertainment, others, especially the juniors, feeling genuinely uncomfortable.

Now OP is stuck wondering if ignoring it was the safer move, or if it makes him part of the problem.

Original Post

So I'm (30M) working at a corporate firm for the past three years. Last week, we had a company dinner to celebrate hitting quarterly targets.

My boss (50sF) let loose and got seriously intoxicated. She began making inappropriate comments, flirting with junior staff, and even danced provocatively.

It was uncomfortable for everyone. I chose to ignore her behavior at the event, thinking it was a one-off.

However, the next day, she talked about how 'wild' she got and laughed it off. For context, our workplace is generally formal, and her behavior was way out of line.

I feel conflicted about not addressing it with HR or her superiors. Some colleagues found it amusing, but others, especially juniors, felt uncomfortable.

Now, I'm questioning if I should have stepped in or reported her. Ignoring it seemed easier, but I don't want this to set a bad precedent or make me complicit.

So AITAH for not addressing my boss's unprofessional conduct at the company event? I honestly don't know if I'm wrong here and need outside perspective.

The Dilemma of Speaking Up

This situation raises serious questions about the power dynamics at play. The OP’s boss, who should model professionalism, indulged in excessive drinking and made inappropriate comments. The fact that this happened at a company event, where employees often feel pressured to maintain appearances, adds another layer of complexity. It’s hard to ignore the fear that speaking up could jeopardize the OP's career, especially when colleagues are split on whether intervention was necessary.

On one hand, it’s crucial to address unprofessional behavior, but on the other, the risks involved in confronting a superior can feel insurmountable. This tension resonates with many who’ve faced similar dilemmas in their workplaces, highlighting how difficult it can be to balance personal ethics with professional survival.

That quarterly-target celebration turned into a full-on scene the moment the boss started making inappropriate comments and dancing provocatively in front of junior staff.

Comment from u/CoffeeLover42

YTA for not speaking up! Junior staff look up to you, and if you let this slide, it normalizes her behavior. You need to consider their experience too, not just your comfort.

Comment from u/Jumpy_Butterfly_89

NTA. It's a tough spot to be in with your boss acting so unprofessionally. But you should maybe address it privately with her instead of going straight to HR, see if she realizes her behavior was inappropriate.

Comment from u/sunset_dreamer27

NTA - It's tricky when it's your boss. Maybe next time, if it happens again, you could discreetly suggest she calm down or even offer to escort her out. But I get why you're conflicted.

Comment from u/CatWhisperer_55

YTA. As someone in a senior role, it's part of your responsibility to maintain a professional environment. By not addressing the boss's behavior, you failed to uphold that standard.

The next day, when she laughed about being “wild,” OP had to deal with the fact that the discomfort was still there, not just locked in at dinner.

Comment from u/music_and_books123

NAH - It's a tough situation. If this behavior becomes a pattern, then you may need to escalate it. But for a one-time incident, maybe having a private conversation with her first would be best.

It’s a bit like the AITA where someone confronted a coworker over inappropriate comments, sparking a split in the office.

Comment from u/ArtisticSoul77

NTA. It's understandable why you hesitated. Maybe take this as a learning experience and be prepared if a similar situation arises. Your concerns are valid, even if you didn't act immediately.

Comment from u/GamerGirl_2000

NTA. Dealing with a drunk boss is no picnic, especially in a professional setting. Maybe have a chat with her privately about how her behavior made others uncomfortable. It's about finding the right approach.

Meanwhile, colleagues were split, some finding it amusing, others saying the juniors shouldn’t have been put in that position at a company event.

Comment from u/pizza_and_tacos

YTA. By staying silent, you indirectly condoned her unprofessional behavior. It's hard but standing up for a professional workplace is crucial. Don't let fear of confrontation compromise your values.

Comment from u/coding_unicorn555

NAH.

Comment from u/RainbowSkies22

NTA. It's tough when it involves your boss. Perhaps have a frank discussion with her about setting a professional example. Your hesitation doesn't make you the AH; it's a tricky balance.

So now OP is weighing whether his silence at the dinner set a precedent, or whether reporting would have been the only way to stop it before it happens again.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

What’s particularly intriguing is the division among the OP's colleagues regarding whether they should’ve intervened. Some may see bystander intervention as a moral obligation, while others might prioritize self-preservation in a corporate hierarchy. This conflict reflects a broader societal issue: how do we hold powerful individuals accountable without risking our own standing?

The OP’s struggle is a microcosm of workplace culture, where the fear of retaliation often silences those who witness unprofessional conduct. The mixed responses from the Reddit community showcase this complexity, as people grapple with the idea of loyalty to a boss versus the need to foster a respectful work environment. It’s a delicate balance that resonates deeply in today’s corporate landscape.

What It Comes Down To

This story serves as a stark reminder of the moral complexities inherent in workplace dynamics. The conflict between professional integrity and personal risk is something many can relate to, prompting us to consider our own responses in similar situations. Should we prioritize a respectful work environment at the risk of our careers? Or do we stay silent to protect ourselves? How would you navigate this tricky landscape?

The dynamics at play in this story highlight the uncomfortable reality many face when dealing with unprofessional behavior from superiors. The OP's boss, in her 50s, crossed a line at a company event, and while some colleagues found her antics amusing, others felt deeply uncomfortable, particularly the junior staff. The OP’s choice to remain silent reflects the fear of potential career repercussions and the struggle to balance personal ethics with the pressures of corporate hierarchy. This situation underscores the ongoing tension between accountability and self-preservation in the workplace, a challenge that resonates widely in today’s corporate culture.

If a “company dinner” leaves juniors feeling trapped, OP is right to worry he might have helped normalize it.

Want to know if confronting a manager’s unprofessional conduct should be public or private? Read this AITA about calling out a colleague’s unprofessional behavior during a team meeting.