New Mom Scolded By In-Laws, Saying They Don't Feel Welcome Because She Won't Let Them Hold Baby

OP and her husband established clear boundaries for their family and friends. One important rule was to call before coming over to their house.

This was particularly crucial because OP’s husband works during the day, and OP often naps with the baby when they haven’t had much sleep the night before. Despite communicating this boundary to everyone, her husband’s family struggled to adhere to it.

In the early weeks, his family respected the boundary, but after that, they began showing up unannounced. There were three instances where they arrived without notice, calling only when they were five minutes away.

Each time, OP was asleep and couldn’t answer the door, which led to his family feeling hurt and excluded.

The situation became more complicated with OP’s mother-in-law. She now only comes over when OP’s husband is taking his older sister home from medical treatment, a routine in which his mother picks up the sister and waits in the car until OP’s husband returns.

Instead of coming in, she often makes excuses like, “I’ve been sick,” or “I’m tired, so I just want to go home.” This behavior has caused tension between OP and her husband, who is upset about his mother feeling unwelcome.

Additionally, OP’s husband’s family is upset because they feel they aren’t allowed to hold the baby. OP, however, insists that she has never refused anyone who asked to hold her daughter.

The situation escalated at OP’s sister-in-law’s quinceañera. OP brought her mother along, and her mother held the baby often because she frequently asked to. OP’s husband’s family noticed this and felt slighted, thinking they weren’t given the same opportunity.

When OP and her husband ran into his mother recently, he asked if she wanted to hold the baby. She declined, expressing that she felt unwelcome in their home and was upset about not holding the baby at the quinceañera.

All these concerns were voiced to OP at once, leaving her feeling overwhelmed and confused. She wants to maintain a good relationship with her husband’s family, who have done a lot for her.

OP and her husband had a baby recently, and they set some boundaries with everyone

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The husband's family would come over at random times

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The Impact of Boundaries on Family Relationships

This situation underscores the importance of setting boundaries, particularly when new parents are navigating family dynamics. Research shows that establishing boundaries can significantly enhance relationship satisfaction and emotional well-being. According to studies published in the Journal of Family Psychology, families that respect individual boundaries tend to experience less conflict and greater overall happiness.

By asserting her need for space regarding her newborn, the Redditor is prioritizing her family's emotional health, which can lead to healthier dynamics in the long run.

The husband's mom now only comes by when he's home

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The husband's family is also upset because OP doesn't let them hold the baby

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From a psychological perspective, establishing boundaries is essential for new parents as they navigate the challenges of parenthood. A clinical psychologist notes that boundaries can help protect the emotional space needed to bond with infants and adjust to new family roles. Research indicates that when parents feel supported in their boundary-setting, they often experience lower levels of stress and greater satisfaction.

This Redditor's decision to limit her in-laws' access to her baby illustrates the need for parents to prioritize their own comfort and emotional needs during this vulnerable time.

The husband's family was even more distressed when they saw OP's mom hold the baby

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The couple ran into the husband's mom, and she told them she doesn't feel welcome in their home

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The Role of Emotional Support

Emotional support is crucial for new parents, particularly during the early stages of parenthood. According to Dr. Janet Lansbury, a renowned parenting expert, "When family members respect a new parent's boundaries, it fosters a sense of safety and trust, which is essential for both the parents and the baby." Research indicates that parents who receive emotional support from family members report lower levels of stress and higher levels of satisfaction. This situation highlights the importance of offering support without infringing on the new parents' boundaries, which can lead to a more harmonious family dynamic.

OP doesn't see why they feel unwelcome

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OP has the right to set boundaries

u/VeraXavier

Family dynamics can be complicated by differing expectations regarding support and involvement. A study from the University of Michigan illustrates that when family members impose their desires on new parents, it can lead to feelings of resentment and conflict. This Redditor's experience serves as a reminder of the need for open communication about boundaries and expectations with family members.

Recognizing and validating the emotional needs of new parents can help foster a more supportive environment.

The husband needs to get a grip

u/YouthNAsia63

OP has a husband problem

u/Mereadsalot

OP needs to have an open and honest conversation with her husband’s family. Explaining her perspective and understanding theirs can help clear up misunderstandings.

OP’s situation is a delicate balancing act of maintaining boundaries while fostering family relationships.

With patience, open communication, and small adjustments, it’s possible to navigate these complexities and create a harmonious environment for everyone involved.

Too bad for them

u/Slight-Bar-534

A weird bunch

u/definitelywitch

Strategies for Healthy Family Dynamics

To cultivate healthy family dynamics, it's essential to engage in open discussions about boundaries and support expectations. Research supports the idea that families who communicate effectively about their needs experience higher levels of satisfaction and lower levels of conflict.

Encouraging family members to express their feelings and expectations can create a more balanced and cooperative environment, ultimately benefiting everyone involved.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the critical need for new parents to establish boundaries for their emotional well-being. The Redditor's decision to limit her in-laws' access to her baby reflects an important aspect of parenting that prioritizes the unique needs of the family unit.

Encouraging open dialogue about boundaries can foster healthier relationships and greater understanding within the family.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, navigating family dynamics as a new parent requires a delicate balance of boundary-setting and emotional support. Research consistently highlights the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in fostering healthy relationships.

By prioritizing emotional well-being and establishing boundaries, families can navigate the challenges of parenthood more effectively.