Tensions Rise As Man Insists On Not Staying At His Inlaw's House Over Christmas

It's said that once you marry someone, you also marry their family. Some in-laws grow to be cherished members of your extended family, but others just make the whole thing difficult.

Navigating these difficulties while maintaining the unity of your chosen family requires skill. We all know that sometimes in-law relationships can be challenging because they bring conflict between one spouse's past and present.

In some cases, things quickly become chaotic if a person believes their spouse consistently supports their parents. It can be quite challenging for the person whose parents cause conflict to know what to do.

In the end, it's like having to decide between two aspects of your family. Someone will be dissatisfied regardless of what you do, so being in that situation is difficult.

The OP of today's story has a lot of history with his in-laws that he didn't want to go into. He did mention something, though, which is that his wife's dad has made him and his kids feel unwanted at his house in the past.

It's Christmas, and they're going over to spend it, but the OP has reservations of his own. He told his wife about his plans of getting a hotel room, but it turned into a quarrel.

Read all about it as you scroll down below.

The OP writes

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The OP is asking if it's unreasonable to ask to stay at a hotel

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I told my wife I wanted to get a hotel instead of staying at her parents house for Christmas. It hurt here feelings and she thinks I’m a villain.

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The OP left this edit later on to further clarify things...

My wife and I have been together for nearly 20 years. Her dad is NOT a bad guy, he just doesn't like interruptions to his day to day activities. He has told us in the past to get a hotel rather than stay at his house. He has come to visit us for a week and left early because he has some undiagnosed OCD and isn't comfortable with interruptions. It makes me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome when we stay at their house. My wife tells me I should suck it up and deal with it for a week because she want's to stay with them.

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When it comes to dealing with in-laws, marriage can provide a number of difficulties. Whether it's invading personal space, offering unwanted advice, or meddling in marriage decisions, in-laws may struggle to respect boundaries.

Tension and arguments can arise when spouses and their families have different cultural backgrounds, customs, and values, particularly when it comes to significant life events like holidays, parenting styles, or religious convictions. Misunderstandings and unresolved disputes can be made worse by poor communication between spouses and their in-laws.

The OP says that he really does love his in-laws but he just wants to get a hotel so they can all have a break from each other. Redditors understood this and he was declared not the AH.