A Psychologist Warns Of The Rise Of "Lonely, Single Men," And The Internet Thinks It's Funny

The pandemic has really highlighted many of the failures we have as a society. On a broad level, there’s a striking breakdown in the accessibility of healthcare and how truly essential “non-essential workers” really are.

On a smaller, but arguably still significant level, quarantine and social distancing have forced us to confront how lonely we may or may not be. Some relationships ended after being forced into 24/7 contact, while others hunkered down in solitude.

As the world continues on and we return to life as it used to be, pandemic be damned, there have been some surprising changes. Specifically, heterosexual men are having a harder time finding relationships.

According to board-certified couple and family psychologist Dr. Greg Matos, who wrote in Psychology Today, the number of “lonely, single men” is on the rise. This is largely due to heterosexual women finally picking up their standards off the floor of the sh*t factory.

Dr. Matos jumps right into his article, pointing out that over the last 30 years, straight men have become the larger population of long-term single people. If they aren’t willing to make any changes, things may get worse.

He breaks down three trends that may lead to the struggle of finding a partner: the popularity and ever-growing use of dating apps, overall increased standards for relationship partners, and straight men’s lacking relationship skills.

Essentially, men must be ready to put in some work on themselves if they don’t want to risk spending their lives alone. They should probably start ASAP.

While Dr. Matos’ article speaks a lot of truth and provides helpful suggestions on how to address these issues, his findings weren’t all that surprising to many heterosexual women. Many women felt that the article was validating, as he shared information they had already been discussing about the dating scene for years.

The article definitely caused quite a stir across social media, with some people (re: *some* straight men) expressing their outrage, while others commended Dr. Matos’ work and found validation in the article's findings. Some even found it to be hilarious in a “they really needed to do a study to see that men need to treat a person with respect to have a relationship” way and jumped at the opportunity to roast cishet men.

Continue scrolling to see Dr. Matos’ article and how some folks around the Internet responded.

"The Rise of Lonely, Single Men"

Gotta appreciate the "Key Points" section for providing a quick overview.

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Essentially, the majority of single men are affected by this and will continue to be

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Dr. Matos offers three trends that may be negatively impacting single men's chances at a relationship

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1. Dating Apps

It's a numbers game, y'all. There are more men using dating apps than women, so women have a better advantage in being more selective about whom they respond to.

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2. Relationship Standards

This right here may be the most ironic point. Straight women have finally reached the point where they no longer *need* to be in a relationship with just any man they can get.

Women now have the ability to provide for themselves; they can obtain their own line of credit and pay for their own housing, transportation, and food. Gone are the days when women were solely reliant on a man to provide while being forced to stay at home.

Men no longer benefit from being a complete dumpster fire of a human and still getting a wife. This leads us to the next point.

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3. Skills Deficits

Straight up, men have a significant deficiency in relationship skills. And it's not necessarily all their fault; many adult men today were raised in a time when boys/men showing emotions and communicating their wants and needs was frowned upon.

"Boys don't cry," "real men don't do X, Y, or Z," and all that B.S. has literally stunted the emotional growth and capability of several generations of men.

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It's not all bad news, though

Dating apps are becoming more advanced, leading to more promising connections when a match is made.

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Men can make themselves more appealing by doing the work

Going to therapy is the most beneficial thing anyone can do, whether or not you think you "need" it. Regularly attending therapy, even as maintenance, can do wonders for your mental health and overall well-being.

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This may be a great opportunity in society to evolve romantic relationships

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Men have to be willing to step up to make this change

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Honestly, thank goodness women are starting to realize that they would be happier by themselves and are beginning to stop wasting their time on people who don’t deserve it. Heck, there have been studies that show men benefit more from heterosexual relationships than women do.

Marriage can improve the overall lifestyle of men, lowering their risks of certain diseases and benefitting their careers. This generally leads them to have healthier, happier, and longer lives compared to single men.

Women, on the other hand, tend to suffer in inequitable marriages, where both partners may work, but domestic tasks, like household chores and childcare, still largely fall upon women to complete. This likely explains why nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

There have even been studies suggesting that single, childless women are the happiest group of people overall. Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, spoke about these findings at the Hay Festival in Wales:

“We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.”

Twitter was ready to roast straight men, because when are they not?

ButNotTheCity

Maybe if they knew how to process and talk about their feelings, they wouldn't hurt so much

BaronX

Just a theory

BronaghTumulty

Concrete proof that women raising their standards WORKS

blackpopgirl

Being in a heterosexual relationship is more beneficial for the male partner

lesbrains

Women are just doing what they were told

That's a sad realization

adakanma

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ correct ♥

MonateReal

The number of men on dating apps has made it easier for women to be more selective

arletalert29

The news of the article even made it over to TikTok

James Doonquah made an excellent video about the article.

legionofdoon

You can read the transcript of the 76-second video

legionofdoon

And you can watch the full video below:

His viewers readily agreed with him

Kyra Joachim

The happiest people are those who are NOT responsible for taking care of other people

VERONICA

She found peace outside of a relationship

Anny

Cishet men need to start bringing more than just the "bare minimum"

maramor

It's not worth it to settle for anything less

M

There are definitely people in this world who can bring you the same peace and happiness you have while being single, and you deserve to have that person

Elle Cee

Of homicides involving a woman, over half were committed by a male partner

Fact source

It'sthebrooklynbomber

Back in the good ol' days when women had no other choice

stephers85

I wish I could give her a hug

Clara Swan

Meanwhile, single cishet women are living their best lives

Jane McJane Jane

James wasn't the only TikToker who had thoughts about the article

"Men are quite literally going to be dying alone"

This user took advantage of a negging video to help make a point about the article

If straight men really want to change the trajectory of the looming rise of singledom, they need to take a hard look inward and address their “skills deficit.” They must genuinely put in the work on themselves and strengthen their mental and emotional health while honing their communication skills.

What are your thoughts on Dr. Matos’ article and the benefits/disadvantages of marriage for straight men and women? Let us know in the comments section below, and be sure to share this with your friends.