The Great Gingerbread Debate - When ‘It’s My Turn’ Turns Into A Family Feud

For the past five or six years, a Redditor’s sister-in-law, Emma, has hosted the family’s annual gingerbread house party. Everyone else in the family rotates hosting duties for other holidays, but this December tradition has always been Emma’s domain.

The party itself isn’t the problem—the Redditor admits Emma does a fine job—but it always follows Emma’s style. Emma invites her own friends and family, and the Redditor feels like she’s never had a chance to put her own personal touch on the event.

The Redditor is an accomplished baker and has been told repeatedly how good she is, so her version of the party would feature homemade gingerbread rather than kits. She’d also decorate the house and yard, and invite a different mix of people to create a completely new vibe.

Her husband agrees it’s her turn to host, but he tends to avoid conflict with his oldest brother’s wife, who he views as bossy. Feeling it was time to take initiative, the Redditor sent a message in the family chat announcing that she would host the gingerbread party this year.

Emma reached out privately, suggesting they combine parties and allow the Redditor to invite additional guests. The Redditor politely declined, insisting it was her turn to host the event independently.

Emma then confirmed she would still host her party as planned, leaving the family chat silent and the Redditor wondering if there would now be two parties on the same day. She feels it’s unfair for Emma to “own” the tradition and believes sharing the hosting duties is a reasonable request.

The Redditor wanted her chance to host, bake, and decorate—but her sister-in-law had other plans.

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Here's the original post by Reddit user 'gingerbreadbigfoot'.

Am I in the wrong for thinking it’s my turn to host a Christmas party? For the past 5 or 6 years my SIL (Emma) has hosted a gingerbread house party in December. If you don’t know what that is, basically everyone is provided with a gingerbread house to put together and decorate. For all other gatherings my husband’s family rotates who hosts the party (for example my other SIL (Sara) may host Christmas Day or my MIL may host, we host Easter sometimes sometimes it’s my MIL, etc.) but for this party it is always at Emma’s house. The party is fine at Emma’s house but it means she invites her family and her friends and does things the way she would want to do them. I would like a chance to do it the way I would want, for example I’m great at baking (not delusional, people tell me all the time) so I would do homemade gingerbread instead of kits. I wouldn’t invite Emma’s family and friends (no offense to them just they aren’t people I would choose to hang out with). I would decorate my yard and house. Just a different vibe. My husband always agrees that we should get a chance to host but he doesn’t say anything because Emma is married to his oldest brother and I think he feels like he can’t push back on them being bossy and controlling. So I sent a message to the family chat saying that we would be hosting the gingerbread party this year. Emma messaged me separately to ask if I would want to combine my party with her party and that I could invite other people if I wished (like I said, controlling) I replied and said no, that we felt it was our turn to host the party. Emma said she would still be holding her party as planned. The group chat has been silent so I feel like everyone is waiting to see what to do as it looks like there will be two parties on the same day. I feel like she’s the one being rude. She’s had this party as her thing for years and I don’t think it’s fair that she feels like she owns it. I don’t think it’s a big ask to let someone else host the party this year. So am I the asshole? Edit: just to clear this up, I did NOT pick my party date to be the same day as her party. I sent my message and then when she messaged me privately she told me she was planning to have her party the same day. Edit 2: I texted Emma and told her that Reddit said I was an asshole and shouldn’t have my party. She said I can still invite some people to her party if I want. And she’s going to message the family group chat about their only being one party (yes sometimes I like that she acts like a big sister). So sorry to disappoint everyone but no she doesn’t hate me and Christmas isn’t ruined.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

ElleArr26

YTA.

thickhipstightlips

"Rude!"

ssgtdunno

Just have another party.

KoomDawg432

"Sorry, you’re the controlling one."

runiechica

"I hope you review your decision."

Notmynameagaiin

You should have spoken to her privately first.

thechaoticstorm

"Cringy."

Competitive_Ninja668

This is her thing!

WorkIsATimeSuck

"Just plan your own party and not step all over hers."

angry_gma_0618

"Cancel your party ASAP."

busyshrew

"Why do you have to steal her party?"

shellbritt

It's tacky!

KikiLake

"Why do you get to tell her she can’t have her tradition?"

angelerulastiel

In the end, after some family discussion, the Redditor was allowed to invite a few guests to Emma’s party. Christmas wasn’t ruined, and while tensions lingered, the family managed to celebrate the tradition together—just with a little compromise.