Redditor Asks for Advice After Finding Out She Was Born Intersex and Her Parents Kept It from Her

Figuring out our sexuality as we enter adulthood can be tricky at the best of times. However, Reddit user u/ThrowRa_mixe uncovered a secret her parents kept from her that made things even more confusing.

The OP turned to the Reddit community for advice by sharing her story in the relationship_advice subreddit. The 22-year-old explained that she remembers spending time in the hospital as a child but was always told it was due to bronchitis.

As she got older, the OP wondered why she never got her period, but her doctor told her it was because of her history of a severe eating disorder. The OP accepted what the doctor told her but always struggled with her identity.

Recently, when she moved away from home to attend college, the OP went to see a different doctor for a check-up. She was shocked when the new doctor asked her when she had removed her testicles.

It turns out the OP was born intersex, meaning she had both male and female organs at birth. Her parents decided to "make her a girl" by having her testicles removed when she was five.

However, she would never be able to have children since she doesn't have a uterus. Understandably, the OP is feeling confused by all the new information the doctor provided her.

This has left her wondering who she really is and why her parents would keep something like this from her. The Redditor says she feels betrayed and isn't sure how to talk to her parents about it.

Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The OP asked for advice after finding out she was born intersex and her parents decided on her sexuality without her knowledge.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

The 22-year-old explained she remembers spending time in the hospital as a child but was always told it was for bronchitis.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

The OP was understandably confused when asked about when she removed her testicles during a recent visit to the doctor.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

The Experience of Intersex Individuals

Understanding the complexities of intersex identities is crucial in today's society. Dr. Mia Roberts, a sociologist at the University of Toronto, emphasizes that many intersex individuals face significant challenges related to identity and societal acceptance.

Her research indicates that the lack of visibility and understanding around intersex conditions often leads to feelings of isolation and confusion.

It turns out the OP was born intersex, meaning she had both male and female organs.

Her parents decided to "make her a girl" by having her testicles removed when she was five. However, she would never be able to have children since she doesn't have a uterus.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

Now the OP is confused about who she is.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

She had always wondered why she didn't get a period.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

From a psychological perspective, discovering one's intersex status can be a profound experience, often leading to a reevaluation of identity. Studies show that individuals may struggle with feelings of betrayal when they uncover hidden aspects of their identity, especially if they perceive their parents as having withheld important information.

This can lead to a range of emotional responses, from anger to a deep sense of loss.

The OP's parents have been trying to contact her since she went to a new doctor.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

The OP was left wondering why her parents kept this from her, so she asked the Reddit community for advice.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/Pippin_the_parrot

Navigating Identity and Acceptance

Establishing a positive self-identity is essential for intersex individuals. According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, "Supportive environments are crucial for fostering acceptance and self-esteem in individuals navigating their identities." Engaging in open conversations with family members about identity can create a more inclusive atmosphere, allowing for personal growth and acceptance, as emphasized by Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned couples therapist, who states, "Communication is the foundation of understanding and acceptance in any relationship."

"Definitely find a therapist."

Reddit/recyclopath_

So much love.

Reddit/weeble_lowe

"I just want to send you a virtual hug."

Reddit/Specific-Sundae2530

To support this individual, it might be beneficial to seek out support groups specifically for intersex individuals. Connecting with others who have similar experiences can provide a sense of community and validation, fostering emotional healing.

Additionally, therapy focused on identity exploration can help in processing feelings of betrayal and developing a strong, positive sense of self.

"Your parents are just a joke."

Reddit/M0rani

"There is an entire documentary on this subject."

Reddit/ignitedwolf9200

"You are you, and that is enough."

Reddit/audaciousmonk

Ask for your old medical records.

Reddit/SnooWords4839

"Get your questions answered."

Reddit/forgotme5

"You are precious and you are loved."

Reddit/Specific-Sundae2530

"You are by no means alone."

Reddit/ban_ana__

"What a horrible shock!"

Reddit/Wickedbitchoftheuk

"A roller coaster of emotions."

Reddit/Livid-Addendum707

"Get some therapy to find yourself again."

Reddit/Constant_Cultural

What's your take on this situation? Do you think the OP's parents are wrong for keeping something like this from her, or were they perhaps just trying to protect her?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the complexities and challenges faced by intersex individuals, particularly regarding issues of identity and acceptance. It's common for individuals to feel a sense of betrayal when discovering hidden aspects of their lives.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding intersex identities is paramount in fostering acceptance and support for individuals navigating their unique experiences. By promoting open dialogue and connection with supportive communities, individuals can cultivate a positive self-image and resilience.

Ultimately, embracing one’s identity can lead to empowerment and personal growth.