Redditor Asks for Advice After Finding Out She Was Born Intersex and Her Parents Kept It from Her

A 22-year-old woman is dealing with the kind of secret that changes your whole life, not just your plans. She thought her childhood hospital visits were for bronchitis, and she grew up with questions about her body that never really got answered.

Then, during a recent doctor visit, she was confronted with a detail that did not match her reality: she had “removed her testicles.” The twist is brutal, her parents had known she was intersex, and they chose to “make her a girl” by surgically removing her testicles when she was five, without telling her what was happening.

Now she is trying to figure out who she is, why her parents kept it from her, and what to do with the fact that she will never have a uterus.

The OP asked for advice after finding out she was born intersex and her parents decided on her sexuality without her knowledge.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

The 22-year-old explained she remembers spending time in the hospital as a child but was always told it was for bronchitis.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

The OP was understandably confused when asked about when she removed her testicles during a recent visit to the doctor.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

The revelation that one is intersex can fundamentally alter a person's understanding of their identity. In the case of the Reddit user u/ThrowRa_mixe, discovering that her parents kept her intersex status a secret adds layers of complexity to her journey towards self-acceptance. This lack of transparency can exacerbate feelings of confusion and isolation, which are already prevalent in intersex individuals navigating a world that often lacks awareness and acceptance. The broader societal implications of such secrets highlight the urgent need for increased visibility and understanding around intersex conditions, as the journey to embrace one's identity should not be marred by hidden truths.

It turns out the OP was born intersex, meaning she had both male and female organs.

Her parents decided to "make her a girl" by having her testicles removed when she was five. However, she would never be able to have children since she doesn't have a uterus.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

Now the OP is confused about who she is.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

She had always wondered why she didn't get a period.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

Her confusion hits hard when she realizes she never got a period for a reason she was never allowed to understand.

From a psychological perspective, discovering one's intersex status can be a profound experience, often leading to a reevaluation of identity.

This can lead to a range of emotional responses, from anger to a deep sense of loss.

The OP's parents have been trying to contact her since she went to a new doctor.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

The OP was left wondering why her parents kept this from her, so she asked the Reddit community for advice.

Reddit/ThrowRa_mixe

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/Pippin_the_parrot

The part that really stings, though, is that her parents decided her identity before she could even ask a question.

Establishing a positive self-identity is critical for individuals who discover they are intersex, as highlighted by the experiences shared by Reddit user u/ThrowRa_mixe. The revelation of being intersex after a lifetime of secrecy from her parents adds a layer of complexity to her journey of self-discovery. The article underscores the importance of supportive environments in fostering acceptance and self-esteem for those navigating their identities. Engaging in open conversations about such deeply personal matters can cultivate a more inclusive atmosphere within families, allowing for significant personal growth and acceptance. Communication plays a vital role in building understanding and acceptance, especially in the context of family dynamics that may have previously obscured the truth.

This is similar to a Redditor asking their parents to repay a secret education loan.

"Definitely find a therapist."

Reddit/recyclopath_

So much love.

Reddit/weeble_lowe

"I just want to send you a virtual hug."

Reddit/Specific-Sundae2530

When she noticed her parents trying to contact her after she switched doctors, it made the whole situation feel even weirder and more personal.

To support this individual, it might be beneficial to seek out support groups specifically for intersex individuals.

"Your parents are just a joke."

Reddit/M0rani

"There is an entire documentary on this subject."

Reddit/ignitedwolf9200

"You are you, and that is enough."

Reddit/audaciousmonk

Ask for your old medical records.

Reddit/SnooWords4839

"Get your questions answered."

Reddit/forgotme5

"You are precious and you are loved."

Reddit/Specific-Sundae2530

"You are by no means alone."

Reddit/ban_ana__

"What a horrible shock!"

Reddit/Wickedbitchoftheuk

"A roller coaster of emotions."

Reddit/Livid-Addendum707

"Get some therapy to find yourself again."

Reddit/Constant_Cultural

That is when the Reddit community started weighing in on what it means to build a self-identity after the truth drops years later.

What's your take on this situation? Do you think the OP's parents are wrong for keeping something like this from her, or were they perhaps just trying to protect her?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

The revelation faced by the Reddit user regarding her intersex identity underscores the importance of understanding and acceptance in a world that often struggles with such complexities. Her story highlights the need for open dialogue not only within families but also in broader communities, as these discussions can significantly impact an individual's self-image and mental health. The isolation she might feel from discovering her parents' secret can be alleviated through connection with supportive groups that affirm her identity.

Ultimately, this journey towards embracing her intersex identity can serve as a powerful catalyst for personal empowerment and growth, transforming confusion into a more profound understanding of herself.

The question is not just “who am I,” it is “why did you get to decide that for me?”

Before you judge her parents, see how one sibling left their sister with bills after a luxury vacation, in this AITA. Sibling Uses Family Money for Vacation, Leaving Me with Bills: AITA for Asking Them to Repay?