This Woman Listed Her iPhone For Sale And A Self-Professed Nice Guy Proves Why Self-Professed Nice Guys Are The Worst

Possibly the only thing worse than men being terrible is men who think they're above being terrible: the "nice guys." These are the ones who believe they deserve a prize for doing the bare minimum. This woman posted screenshots on Reddit of an innocent situation that turned sour after a nice guy got involved.

What started as a woman selling her phone online ended with a guy trying to “explain the reality of life.” It is a genuinely horrifying situation, and the worst part is that many, if not most, women have a story that is similar. When will some men stop being the absolute worst?

The conversation begins in a standard way... but goes downhill very quickly

msamberjade on Reddit

And then it gets worse...

msamberjade on Reddit

Love to call men out for mansplaining only to have them say "No, I'm educating."

msamberjade on Reddit

Social psychologists emphasize that the concept of the "nice guy" often embodies a distorted view of altruism. This phenomenon, known as benevolent sexism, suggests that some men believe they are entitled to female affection simply by being seemingly kind. Dr. Ian Kerner, a renowned sex therapist, states, "Many men misinterpret kindness as a currency for affection, leading to disappointment and resentment when their expectations aren't met." This can result in negative behaviors toward women, as highlighted on his professional website iankerner.com.

Research in behavioral psychology highlights the importance of developing assertiveness skills to combat harassment. A study from the University of Michigan found that individuals who practice assertive communication report higher self-esteem and lower anxiety levels.

Practical solutions include role-playing scenarios to enhance confidence in responding to unwanted advances or threats. Such training can empower individuals to reclaim their autonomy and effectively challenge harmful behaviors.

Understanding Toxic Behavior Patterns

The disturbing behavior exhibited by the self-proclaimed 'nice guy' reflects a classic case of entitlement and manipulation. According to Dr. Jill Weber, a clinical psychologist, individuals who engage in such behavior often feel a sense of ownership over others, believing that their 'niceness' earns them the right to demand certain responses or behaviors in return.

Research published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology highlights how this mindset can lead to a toxic cycle of interaction, where genuine kindness is replaced with a transactional view of relationships. This can create an environment where emotional manipulation thrives, often resulting in feelings of resentment and violation for those on the receiving end.

WARNING it gets really dark in the next screenshot.

msamberjade on Reddit

Wisely, the woman stopped responding. Not that the guy took the hint...

msamberjade on Reddit

Then she blocked him. And I absolutely do not blame her.

msamberjade on Reddit

The Role of Online Anonymity

The anonymity of online platforms often exacerbates aggressive behaviors, as noted by Dr. John Suler in his work on the online disinhibition effect. In his research, he describes how anonymity can lead individuals to express hostility they might otherwise suppress in face-to-face interactions.

This disconnect allows for toxic expressions, such as threats and harassment, which are particularly harmful in situations like this. Building community guidelines that promote accountability can help mitigate these harmful behaviors.

Moreover, this behavior exemplifies the concept of psychological projection, where individuals attribute their own negative feelings or intentions onto others. Studies show that this defense mechanism can stem from unresolved issues within the individual, leading them to misinterpret others' actions or intentions. Understanding this can help victims of such behavior reclaim their agency and recognize that they are not responsible for another person's emotional state.

Practical steps for those encountering such toxic behavior include setting clear boundaries, seeking support from trusted friends, and engaging in self-care practices to reinforce their self-worth. Recognizing one's value is essential in mitigating the impact of manipulative behaviors.

The internet agreed: the guy is a CREEP.

pinkascii:

"Wow, that's scary."

PM_ME_YOUR_LAWNCHAIR:

"Yeah, I was expecting some whining, but this dude is messed up."

eaglebtc:

"Yeah. I'm a dude, and I don't give out my address to Craigslist strangers because I don't want to get robbed. This guy is a psychopath."

At least by reporting he'd be on their radar (in case this is a common thing he does)

PassTheTangerine:

"Extremely. OP, please tell me you called the cops and reported this? From my experience, the cops can at least call the person and warn them not to harass you. In some cases, I think just having the threat of authorities taking action can help deter him from pulling this kind of messed-up stuff in the future._ _EDIT: To those who pretty much said, 'The police aren't going to do absolutely anything. THIS IS ALSO why women don't report. By perpetuating the belief, 'Well, it won't do anything anyway,' and by NOT reporting, THAT'S also what continues this horrible cycle.And even if he hasn't done anything, they can still put the fear of repercussions into this individual. A lot of these people forget that actions have consequences.I know that victim-blaming is still a problem in the U.S., but you never know who's on the other end to help you when you do report something. Remember to see the individual versus the collective."

Luckily, OP realized what was going down and wasn't having any of it.

Egg-prince:

"I have a strong feeling he was going to rape you."

msamberjade:

"I know! 'Here, let me come over so I can show you how much I won't rape you!' Like, what?"

BIG NOPE

missingadogsomewhere:

"Women lie about being harassed. It's all lies to make me look bad." That tells you all you need to know, lol."

Me, an intellectual:

30826a:

"Let me come over, and I bet you I won't even rape."Me, an intellectual: "Hmm, that's exactly what a rapist would say."I'm glad you're safe; that guy is insane."

Even reading a recount of the story is bone-chilling...

Kchesn:

"Let me show you I won't rape you" is 100% something a rapist would say."

JanuarySoCold:

"I read The Gift of Fear years ago, and I remember one thing: if someone says, 'Don't worry, I won't hurt you,' it's a huge red flag. They will hurt you. I have to read it again to be sure, though."

This "nice" guy doesn't seem real nice to me

Roelka0:

"The way he put 'rape' in quotes makes it seem like it's something that doesn't exist... the whole conversation is really scary."

Ahhwake:

"I hired a new employee a few weeks ago as a server. He seemed like a nice kid, was in engineering school, and was personable.A week into the job, he went on a rant about how rape isn't real; it's all just girls making it up because they're sluts who don't want to be thought of as sluts.I fired him. I couldn't believe he was saying it, though. The whole staff was looking at him while he was just ranting along while rolling silverware.They're out there."

This all started over a phone... like wtf...

misskarne:

"Um.Terrifying.Also, can we just WTF at the number of guys who seem to think, 'I won't rape you!' is setting a really high bar? Because it's literally the lowest bar. Yay, you're a normal person. Good job."

em_square_root_-1_ly:

"Is he a normal person, though?"

depricatedzero:

"The best things about me:I won't rape you.I won't mistreat you.I'm a Nice Guy.You won't need any other guys in your life or people even.I'll give you so many of the sex.Fuck you, you bitch; I was just trying to be nice. You're ugly."

Additionally, it's crucial to understand the broader societal implications of these behaviors. Research indicates that cultural norms can often reinforce toxic masculinity, leading to experiences where 'nice guys' feel justified in their actions. Challenging these societal expectations through education and open dialogue can foster healthier expressions of masculinity and improve interpersonal relationships.

Empowerment comes from advocating for oneself and creating spaces where mutual respect is prioritized. Engaging in conversations about consent and emotional health can contribute to a cultural shift that values genuine kindness over transactional interactions.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights a concerning trend of entitlement masked as kindness, which can lead to emotional manipulation. It reflects deeper societal issues that require continued exploration and dialogue to foster healthier relationship dynamics.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, the troubling behavior of the self-proclaimed 'nice guy' underscores the complexities of entitlement and manipulation in human relationships. Research consistently shows that fostering a culture of mutual respect and understanding can mitigate these toxic patterns. By promoting healthy communication and emotional intelligence, we can pave the way for more equitable and compassionate interactions.

Clinical Perspective & Next Steps

The interplay of societal expectations and online behaviors creates a complex landscape for women, particularly in scenarios involving "nice guys." Recognizing the underlying psychological principles, such as benevolent sexism and the online disinhibition effect, is crucial for addressing these issues.

By fostering assertiveness skills and promoting accountability in online interactions, we can work towards creating a safer environment for all individuals. Ultimately, it's about dismantling harmful narratives and encouraging genuine kindness unmarred by expectations.