Is It Wrong to Consider Dating My Friends Ex After Their Breakup?

A 28-year-old woman is trying to figure out whether she’s about to step on a landmine, and honestly, it’s not even the obvious kind. Her friend Sarah (26) just ended a three-year relationship with Mike (30), and the breakup is still fresh enough that everyone’s emotions are basically on a timer.

Sarah and OP have been friends longer than Sarah ever dated Mike, and OP genuinely cared about her during the split. But Mike has started reaching out to OP, not just to “check in,” and then they hit it off at a party where they talked like they were finally seeing each other for the first time. Now the texting is getting flirtier, Sarah admits she’s not fully over Mike, and OP is stuck between loyalty and chemistry.

It’s the exact moment OP realizes her feelings might be the most inconvenient timing possible.

Original Post

I'm (28F) in a bit of a tricky situation. My good friend (26F) recently broke up with her boyfriend (30M) of 3 years.

Let's call her Sarah and him Mike. Sarah and I have been friends for longer than she dated Mike, but I've known him since college.

When they broke up, Sarah confided in me and shared how they both realized they wanted different things in life. However, I've noticed some lingering feelings between them, especially from Mike.

He's reached out to me a few times to check on Sarah's well-being, which seemed genuine, but I can't shake the feeling that his interest goes beyond concern. Recently, Mike and I bumped into each other at a mutual friend's party.

We ended up having a deep conversation about various topics, and it was the first time we really connected on a personal level. We discovered shared interests, similar life goals, and a genuine chemistry that I never noticed before.

Since that night, we've been texting, and our conversations have become more personal and flirtatious. I feel guilty for developing feelings for him, knowing how fresh his breakup with Sarah is.

On the other hand, I can't deny the strong connection we share. Adding to the complexity, Sarah mentioned to me that she's not completely over Mike and is considering a reconciliation.

I'm torn between my loyalty to Sarah as my friend and my burgeoning feelings for Mike. I fear hurting Sarah if she finds out about my interest in her ex, but at the same time, I can't ignore the potential for a meaningful relationship with him.

So, Reddit, I'm at a loss here. Am I the a*****e for wanting to explore a romantic relationship with Mike despite his history with my friend?

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This is like the AITA about a mutual friend’s ex, where the deep connection led to major fallout.

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After Sarah confided that she and Mike “wanted different things,” OP still noticed Mike’s check-ins felt a little too personal.

Then at the mutual friend’s party, OP and Mike finally had that deep, private conversation, and the connection turned into texting that feels way past casual.

The guilt spikes when Sarah tells OP she’s still considering getting back together with Mike, which makes every flirty message feel like a betrayal in slow motion.

Now OP is stuck wondering if she’s the villain for wanting something real with Mike, even though Sarah is still emotionally tethered to him.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

OP might not be the a******, but the timing is about to blow up her friendship either way.

Want the verdict on dating your best friend Sarah’s ex Mike? Read this AITA.